Memories are a funny thing. Every so often, it surprises me that the most seemingly insignificant thing can bring back a memory that I haven’t thought of in years. There are some parts of my life that when looking back, it almost seems as if I’m watching a movie. As if, sometimes, it isn’t even me.
This is partially because I have some memories that I am very ashamed of and I actually felt guilty about. For even as Christians, we are still susceptible to certain segments of our past “haunting” us. The last time this happened, instead of trying to hide these feelings (as if God couldn’t see them), I spoke out. I thanked God for redeeming me and washing these sins away. I thanked Him, for even when I was doing things I shouldn’t have been, I now understand that He was still watching over me. I felt that if I had stayed in church and committed myself to Him, as I should have, I probably wouldn’t have made some of those shameful choices. But of course, hindsight is 20/20. And in these types of memories, I now realize that the reason I sort of feel like I’m watching a movie, watching a different person, is because I was a different person then. I thank Jesus for His victory over death, over sin, over the devil. For God has now opened my eyes to realize that it was the devil whispering the guilt into my ears. I’ve got to tell you, it felt really good to talk about these things, out loud, with the Lord.
The devil is devious and he makes us believe that we should still feel guilty about things of which we’ve already asked for forgiveness. For he knows that the more guilt we feel, the more shame we feel. The more shame we feel, the less likely we are to bring these feelings to the Lord. And of course, the less often we come before the Lord, the less intimate we become with Him and the more we allow the enemy to affect our lives.
I’m tired of feeling shameful about things I know my Lord has cleansed me of. If anything, I believe the Lord wants us to periodically reflect on where we’ve come from; for we should not forget our testimony. We should not dwell on the past, but I do believe the Lord wants us to build on these experiences in a way that is beneficial to others; through witnessing and through encouragement.
The freedom we’ve experienced through Jesus Christ washing and releasing us of our sins is something that is not meant to be kept to ourselves. Share your testimony. Share the Gospel. Share the love of Jesus Christ. Lead someone to Him and they will be put on a path to be freed of their sin and their shame.
“If the Lord had not been on our side – let Israel say – if the Lord had not been on our side when men attacked us, when their anger flared against us, they would have swallowed us alive; the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away. Praise be to the Lord, who has not let us be torn by their teeth. We have [our soul has] escaped like a bird out of the fowler’s snare; the snare has been broken, and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 124, NIV, A song of ascents. Of David.)
Thank you, my Heavenly Father, for rescuing me. You are an on-time God and I love and praise You with all of my heart, without shame. Hallelujah!
Another great lesson. I agree with you in that we are called to remember so we can praise God for redemption and to grow. Through our experiences we can help others with our testimonies. God bless. Keep serving. In Christ, Christian