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What is the Lord's First Language?
by Julie Michaelson
07/06/08
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Take the rod
and assemble
the congregation,
you and Aaron your brother,
and tell the rock
before their eyes,
to yeild
its water.
[Numbers 20:8]
*************************
"How can I TRUST You, Lord?"

"Just do it, child.
You will see."

"Yeah.......but, I don't
even KNOW You!
I could just be talkin'
to the AIR!"

[SMILE!]
"Read My Word, sweet one."

"HERE? Ya mean THIS PART?

Then Moses
said to God......
and they ask me,
What is his name?
What shall I say
to them?
God said to Moses,
I AM WHO I AM.
[Exodus 3:13-14]

Yeah, but......
(Whiny voice)
L...O.....R.....D! That doesn't
make any S....E....N....S....E!"

"What, My precious."

"THIS!
THIS!
It's not even GRAMMICAL
E...N....G....L...I....S....H!
(More whining.)
(Frown!)
(Squint.)
You need an O...B....J....E...C....T.
LORD!"

"What object, My beloved."

"You KNOW!
In ENGLISH!
You need an OBJECT!
'I AM'.......WHAT?"

"Ah.
[CHUCKLE.]
I see.

"Were You talkin' to Moses
in HEBREW? Cuz, in ENGLISH,
it doesn't make no SENSE*!"

"It makes all the Sense you
will ever know, child."

(Continual whiny voice.)
"But, NOT IN E...N....G....L...I...S....H,
LORD! YOUR GRAMMAR IS
BAD! REALLY BAD!"

[WISE NOD.]

"What IS Your First Language,
ANYWAY, LORD?
(Stare up squintedly at ceiling.)
Cuz......I don't think Ya ever TOLD
ANYBODY?"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]

"HEBREW?
(Grimmace!)
Cuz, I HATED HEBREW, LORD!
ICH!
I got all C's and D's!"

"Yes, My Beloved."

"YEAH!
(Stick tongue out.)
It was AWFUL!
It was RIGHT up THERE,
with......GYM CLASS!"

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"And........PIANO LESSONS!"

"Maybe, that's why
the TWO 'a us never
got ALONG, LORD!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"Wha'd Ya THINK?"

"Child, Who am I?"

"Eh.......the One Who
invented HEBREW school?"

[PATIENT SHAKE OF THE HEAD.]
[GRUFF SIGH.]

"The One Who Said,
'Stop yelling at that
rock, Moses......
and, just HIT it!'.....?"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]
"Read It, child!"

"Yeah;
HERE it is:

And Moses and Aaron
gathered the assembly...
before the rock,
and ....said.....
Here now,
you rebels;
shall we bring forth
water for you
out of this rock?
And Moses lifted
up his hand
and struck the rock
with his rod twice......
[Numbers 20:10-11]"

[NOD.]

"I don't get this, Lord;
WHY did You get MAD
at MOSES?
Cuz, he HIT the rock?
Or, cuz he YELLED at it?
I don't GET it?"

"Read It, child!"

"I DID!
(Turn kvetchy face up at air vent.)
I HAVE!
(Shake scruffy head in disgust.)
It doesn't make any SENSE!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Then, read It, again."

"Can't Ya just TELL me?
Wouldn't that be EASIER?"

"Perhaps, My child.
[LONG PAUSE.]
"But.....
I want you to learn....
Who I AM."
***************************
.......water came out
abundantly,
and the congregation drank,
and their cattle.
And, the Lord
said to Moses and Aaron,
Because you did not
believe in Me,
to sanctify Me
in the eyes
of the people of Israel.....
you shall not bring
this assembly
into the land
which I
have
given you.
[Numbers 20:11-12]

____________________________
*Improper English grammar;
it is being used here for
emphasis, in a very relaxed
conversation.








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