In a great departure from my recent string of stories, I present to you one of the strangest tales that I've come up with so far. It was written with the intention that it might be useful as a children's story.
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"Beard Brush"
By: Michael N Lovdal
In a small wood, by a small pond, there lived three small men. Not three-feet tall between the three of them, they could eat three square meals a day just fine. They loved to drink the sweet nectar of a zoet tree, and laugh and sing the day away. Mul, Tul, and Quat were their names. Many funny jokes were shared between them; they were the best of friends.
On one foul day however, a terrible thing happened. While the gnomes were making ready that morning, a sneaky little faerie stole their only beard brush. Now, as every good gnome knows, a good beard brush is hard to come by. Sure, they could use a comb, but nothing puffed up a gnome's beard like a good gnomish beard brush.
"Where is my beard brush?" asked Mul. He seemed quite distressed to Tul.
"Well I don't have it," said Tul.
"Quat?" asked Mul & Tul.
"Don't look at me," said Quat with great irritation. "You're the one who is always loosing it, Mul." Mul had become even more upset by this time, and he searched their small mushroom hut franticly.
Quat accused Mul of being absent-minded. Mul complained that Tul likely hid it as a practical joke, as he often did. Tul was quite offended by this remark, and defended himself quite loudly. The three gnomes were now quite sore about each other until the small faerie flew in through the window and landed on the sill.
"Is something the matter?" asked the faerie sweetly.
The three gnomes became quiet and turned to examine this tiny visitor.
"Tul hid my beard brush!" said Mul.
"Did not!" said Tul.
"Mul just lost it," said Quat.
"Did not!" said Mul. The conversation went around in circles like this for nearly a minute before the faerie revealed a very large wooden brush that she had been hiding behind her back.
"Are you looking for this?" asked the faerie.
"Why yes!" they said in unison. They looked at each other quite stupidly, not knowing what to say.
Tul looked at Mul. Mul looked at Quat. Being the practical one of the three, Quat dove for the faerie, trying to get the beard brush back.
"You can't have it!" she laughed with delight. She flew up into the air, and Quat hit his nose on the table quite suddenly.
"Get the faerie net!" cried Quat. Mul and Tul ran over to the wall and grabbed the net together. They fought and tugged, both determined that they would be the ones to catch the faerie.
"I want to make a wish!" said Mul.
"I want to be able to fly!" said Tul.
The faerie flew around the mushroom hut happily, laughing and giggling as she swerved and dove.
"We'll only catch her if we work together," reasoned Quat. Knowing that he was the sensible one, Mul and Tul agreed that they should work together, and both offered to let the other use the net. Now however, neither Mul or Tul would take the net. The faerie laughed harder as she danced through the air.
She finally landed on the table once more, turning her back to Quat to watch and laugh at Mul and Tul. She taunted them cruely.
"What's the matter, boys? Can't catch a little faerie?"
A moment later, the faerie gasped with surprise as a big vase came down over her head, trapping her on the table. Quat laughed quite hysterically, having just caught his first faerie.
"The law says you have to grant me a wish now," said Quat. Mul and Tul just stood their, still holding the net.
"Very well," said the faerie with great irritation. "What is your wish?"
"Well", said Quat thoughtfully. "I'd like my beard brush back."
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