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Jewish Lady asks Jesus to Intervene about the Polar Bears and SkyRocketing Gas Prices
by Julie Michaelson
06/30/08
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For
there is
One God,
and there is
One Mediator
between
God
and men,
the Man
Christ Jesus....
[1 Timothy 2:5]
**********************
"Hey, LORD?"

"I'm Here, child."

(Squint.)
"Oh.
Wait a minute.
I don't wanna TALK ta' YOU!
I wanna talk to Lord JESUS!"

[GENTLE SMILE.]
[CHUCKLE.]
"Yes, child.
I am Here."

"Well.......how do I know it's
YOU?"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"It is I, sweet child.
It is I."

"Yeah, okay.
(Confused squint.)
Well......where's the FATHER?
Is He LISTENING, TOO?"

[GENTLY SOLEMN NOD.]
"Yes, little one.
Yes."

"Eh.......I gotta confession,
Lord Jesus.
(Squinty frown.)
You don't know me, that well.
(Purse lips together ruefully.)
But......I ain't sweet."

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]

"I just wanted 'ta give You
a heads up, before we got started."

[GENTLE SMILE.]
"Yes, My beloved.
I understand.
[SMILE.]
Go on."

"Anyways.......like my Mom
used to say,
"I'm not serious;
I'm Jewish."

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"Yes, sweet one.
I remember."

(Squinty squint.)
"HUH?
How d'You remember THAT?
You weren't even AROUND then!"

"Around when, child?"

"You know: in my HOUSE!
You COULDN'T 'a been!
It was JEWISH!"

[GENTLE GAZE.]
"Oh, yes, child.
I was."

"You WERE?
Well......THAT'S weird.
(Squint.)
I thought the Father only
let You into CATHOLIC houses....?"

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"No, child!
I Am Everywhere."

(Squint.)
"Oh. Well.......anyway.
Listen, I've got a list here.
Do You HAVE a COUPLE MINUTES?

"Always, little one."

"Okay. Well, listen,
Lord Jesus.
All of us down here are
very UPSET! And, it's time
You took the HORN by
the HANDLE!
(Thoughtful squint.)
Or, Ya know: howEVER that
saying goes!"

[GENTLE NOD.]
"I understand, sweet one.
[SMILE.]
Go on."

(Look down at list.)
(Shuffle some papers around.)
(Set down ketchupy bowl with
crumbs of Banquet french fries
and bits'o chicken.)
"Yeah.
(Frown.)
I got it here, somewhere."
(Shuffle more papers.)
"Oh. Okay. Here it IS!"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"I am waiting."

"Okay.
(Look up at air vent.)
Are Ya sitting DOWN?
Cuz this is a long LIST!"

[GENTLE NOD.]
"I am Here."

(Smile!)
"Hey, Ya know.....I like talkin'
to You, BETTER! The FATHER
always sounds kinda GRUMPY
to me!"

[GENTLE FROWN.]
"No, child.
He loves you.
Very much."

(Pout.)
(Shrug.)
(Pout.)
"Yeah.....well......I guess.
But........ANYHOW,
let me get STARTED,
or we'll NEVER FINISH!"

[GENTLE NOD.]
"Go on."

"Well, FIRST!
You gotta do SOMETHING
about all the HOMELESS
PEOPLE in our COUNTRY!"

"What country, child?"

"THIS one!"

"Which."

"THIS!
THIS!
AMERICA!
Which ELSE?"
(Squirmy frown!)

[GENTLE SMILE.]
"Ah.
Yes.
Go on."

"Yeah. The President
ain't doin' nothin' ABOUT it.
All he cares about is Ole'BABYLON."
(Smirk.)
Maybe, after he's retired......
he should go LIVE there!"

[GENTLE FROWN.]
"Don't be judgmental, little one."

"SEE?
I just TOLD Ya I ain't SWEET!"

[GENTLE SIGH.]
[GENTLE FROWN.]
[GENTLE NOD.]
"Go on."
[SIGH.]

"Yeah......ANYWAY!
Where WAS I......oh, yeah!
And, what about these skyROCKETING
GAS PRICES?
HUH, LORD JESUS?
Can YOU talk to the FATHER,
about THAT?"

[GENTLE NOD.]
"Yes, child.
But, you must be patient."

"For WHAT?
Hey, LISTEN!
This GAS PRICE business
is eatin' me ALIVE!"

[GENTLE REPROVING FROWN.]
"No, it isn't, child."

"IS TOO!"

"No."

"IS TOO!"

[GENTLE SIGH.]
"Oy vey."

"HEY! You sound JUST LIKE
THE FATHER!
THAT'S weird!"

[GENTLE SMILE.]
"Yes."
[GENTLY PATIENT SIGH.]
"I heard you, My beloved.
Now, go on."

"Well, I'm SORRY!
But, You need to take
better CARE of AMERICA,
Lord JESUS! WE got
PROBLEMS, here, too,
YA KNOW! It ain't all
the Middle EAST!
All the Father cares about
is the MIDDLE EAST!
And, THEY got ALL our OIL!
And, THEY'RE just gettin' RICH
off 'a US!"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Calm down, sweet child.
Calm down."

"NO!
I'm NOT gonna CALM DOWN!
WHATEVER happened to EQUALITY,
an' all THAT stuff? The Father's
gotta know that AMERICA
EXISTS, too!"

[GENTLE NOD.]
"He does, child.
He does."
[GENTLE SIGH.]
"Now: what else did
you want to discuss."

"WOW.
You're really ORGANIZED,
AREN'T You? The FATHER
just lets me go off into all sorts'a
TANGENTS!"

"All the time?"

"YEAH!"

[MORE GENTLE SIGHING.]
"Alright.
I believe you.
Go on."

"And, what about the POLAR BEAR
SITUATION? Are You gonna
TALK to the FATHER,
about THAT?"

[GENTLY SOLEMN NOD.]
"The Father knows about it,
little one."

"Uh UH!
NO, HE DOESN'T, Lord JESUS!
HE DOESN'T!"

[GENTLY PATIENT NOD.]
"Yes, child.
He does."

"NO!
(Yell up at air conditioning vent.)
HE DOESN'T!"

[GENTLE SILENCE.]

"I'm TELLING You, Lord JESUS!
In the BIBLE, all He ever talks
about is ISRAEL! I never
hear a WORD about the
POLAR BEARS!
OR, the PANDAS!"

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"Child.........child......"

"HEY!
I wanna talk to the FATHER,
AGAIN! Is He BUSY?"

"Child, I am Here."

"WHO?"

"Me."

"Yeah, but WHO?
How do the Christians
get You Guys STRAIGHT?
I'm so CONFUSED!"
(More squinting.)
I think I'm gonna go back
to be just plain JEWISH,
again. This is too CONFUSING!"

[PATIENT SMILE!]
[PATIENT SILENCE.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[LONG PAUSE UP IN HEAVEN.]

[GRUFF NOD.]
"WELL?"

[GENTLE SIGH.]
"I DON'T KNOW, FATHER."

[GRUFF NOD.]
"I WARNED YOU; SHE'S A
PISTOL."

[GENTLE NOD.]
"YES. YOU DID.
WELL......[GENTLE SMILE.]
BLESS THE LITTLE ONE,
SHE'S TALKING TO ME,
NOW. AT LEAST, WE'RE
MAKING SOME PROGRESS."

[GRUFF SIGH.]
"OY VEY'S MIR. IT'S GONNA
BE A LONG TRIBULATION."

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"WELL......THINK OF IT,
THIS WAY. WE ONLY HAVE
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-
THREE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED
AND NINETY NINE* TO GO."

[GRUFF CHUCKLE!]
"YOU'RE RIGHT, SON!
YOU'RE RIGHT."
*************************
And
I heard
the number
of the sealed,
a hundred
and forty-four
thousand sealed,
out of every
tribe
of the
sons
of Israel....
[Revelation 7:4]
_________________________
(*Author's note: my
math is really bad.
Let me know if this is
right.)















If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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