When I looked around, I found everyone happy except me. I felt the whole world break before me. For quite sometime I have been struggling with God like Jacob. Yet, unlike him instead of asking for blessings I kept resisting His nearness. “God! I do not want Your mighty hand to touch my life. It hurts. Your fingers are hard on me. Just leave me alone.” This has been my cry. I always had this unruly question, “why me?” arise like waves. Fortunately God did not give up on me.
Scorching summer heat touched the tender skin of my daughter hardly two and a half year old. Boils, big and small appeared all over her face. I could not bear seeing her in such a state. I had to ruthlessly deal with the blood and pus oozing out like a volcano in Monolowa (i.e. ejecting lava quietly). With dettol and cotton in one hand, I held her firmly with the other and cleaned the face although her cry brought the roof down even making my neighbors question, “What happened?” Throughout this painful process she cried, “Mama! It’s painful. Leave me. Do not touch me. I will not talk to you. Please do not clean me up.” Her wailing sent a shiver down my spine.
I clearly heard God’s voice. “My child! Why are you doing this to your child? You are interested in her well-being is it not? If so, consider this. Do I your Creator have no right to dress your wounds?” Between sobs and with moistened eyes I surrendered. “Lord please touch me. I understand that the process will be painful but the outcome will be fruitful. May Your fingers work on my soul today. Help me trust You in everything, everyday.”
Perhaps you too have hard questions to ask of God. Always remember, the Almighty has an answer to all your questions according to is thought which surpasses all other though. Look at Him and not around for answers. With patience allow Him to clean your life. Surely your soul will be beautiful before God and men.
For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11