I think of you so often, and look back fondly at so many memories. Do you remember when you were five and I was sick? You tried to take care of me by making lunch. Dad came home just in time to help you put the pot of soup on the stove. I was so proud of you… I am still so proud of you.
Remember when we went to the ocean, and stayed for a few days? You were six? It was evening and the sun was just starting to give the late evening golden glow, and we walked along the beach. The water was so calm, with ripples here and there from water bugs. We saw a seal pop up and look at us. You looked out on to the bay and saw the mountain in the distance, and you said with such profound understanding and awe, “Just think, Mommy. God made all of this.” I remember looking at you, amazed you saw it like that. It gave me such joy.
Remember the time when I came home from work and you and your sister were giggling in the dining room? I knew something was up…literally…when the slice of cheese landed on the floor. You were doing an experiment to see how long cheese slices stuck to the ceiling. There were already several square greasy marks on the ceiling. After I bawled you out, you could not figure out how I wasn’t laughing, and why I hurried into my bedroom…to change clothes. You figured it out years later, didn’t you? I was laughing.
You must remember when we were going to have company and I had set a buffet of goodies up in the rumpus room. We went out for supper with friends and were going to come back to the house for a visit and dessert. You took that time to see if you could do like you saw on television—and you tried to use the vacuum cleaner to blow your cheeks out like a gopher. You didn’t know you were supposed to have a clean and empty vacuum and you did that experiment in the laundry room with the door open, right next to the table of goodies. No one noticed the bits of dust on things…at least no one said anything. You got it right on your second try, although you did admit to having trouble getting all the dust and dirt out of your mouth.
Do you remember when you tried that milk experiment? You tried to drink milk up your nose through a straw, while standing on your head. If I recall, you said it did not work. So then, you tried to drink it with a straw in your mouth, while standing on your head. That didn’t work out so well, either. You were pretty disappointed…and wet.
The chemistry set, who could forget that? We picked it up for you, thinking you would find it as interesting and fun as the electronic set you had. What was I thinking? What fun you had, turning my white ceramic sink, purple. Then, in an attempt to clean it, you and your buddy piled wooden matches into the drain, threw a match to it, and sprayed hair spray on it …and it was whiter than when we moved into the house, after you scrubbed all the black from it. I am so glad you didn’t tell me about the match thing until last year. Did you figure out God was protecting you?
Do you remember that night when you were five, and you had gone to bed, and started sobbing. I went in to you and that is when you accepted Jesus as your Savior. I cried with you. I was thinking about that precious time a while ago when I wrote the following. I was feeling a bit sad about the choices each of us make and I guess it was a way for me to put thoughts down I didn’t think you would want me say to you.
My heart breaks for you, my Son
You knew Christ, why did you run?
I know the world called out to you,
You thought you could be like others, too
You know the truth about eternal life,
You have succumbed to so many lies;
Beliefs hidden, not wanting to offend
Remaining silent, you pretend,
Those things no longer matter,
Wanting rather to say things that flatter;
You think others have given you pain
But those things will always remain,
Empty and shallow feelings burn;
I weep and pray that you will return,
For peace, I know your heart does yearn;
It is something you simply cannot earn
I know you have lost your way
There is so much more I want to say
Oh dear son, please turn to Christ
To disobey and sin comes with a price
You will know life is worth living
When to Christ you are fully giving
Your heart, your fears, your all
When trusting Him you will not fall
He cares about all you say and do
In the end it is between Him and you
He forgives all His love is true
He is patiently waiting for you,
My dear son, I am too.
Do you hear Him calling your name?
Say yes, and life will never be the same.
All the laughter all these years
And also now the many tears,
I will always think of you
With many prayers
With love always,
Luke 15:4-7, 10 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. …10. Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.
Romans 10:9-11 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.