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A Dispirited Discussion between Father and Son
by Julie Michaelson
05/22/08
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[Read 'Conception' by same
author. Then read this one.]
*****************************

(Author is sound asleep.
Unbeknownst to her, a major
Discussion is going on........it's
a wonder her ears aren't burning.)
_______________________
[GENTLE SIGH.]
"Father......I really don't want
to say 'I told You so.', but..."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"OY! If she brings up those
POLAR BEARS, one more
TIME!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
[SIGH.]
"Yes....yes;
[GENTLE CLEARING OF THE THROAT.]
...not to mention all the
OTHER things....."
[SIGH.]

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"You mean, like, calling
the Sin of the World a 'bunch 'a
BOLOGNA....KOSHER BOLOGNA'?
OY! It's a good
thing I didn't happen to have
a THUNDERBOLT in My Hand,
at the time!"

[SIGH.]
"Father, Father! That's NOT
what she SAID.
[SIGH.]
All she meant was......!"

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Yes, YES! I know what she
MEANT! OY! But, all the
IRREVERENT TALK! I never heard such DISREPECT since......!"

[SIGH.]
"Ah, yes. She does remind
Me a little of....."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Yes! YES! THAT'S who
she reminds Me of! But.....
he was like, her great-great.....
......great.....great-great-great
GRANDFATHER?
[GRUFF SHAKE OF THE HEAD.]
OY VEY!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
[SIGH.]
"Well......I don't want to
say I told Ya so........"

[GRUFF SNORT.]
"Yes. I know; I KNOW!
How many times do You
have to SAY IT?
[GRUFF SIGH.]
I chose Philadelphia for
her birth.....and, I decided
to make her [OY!] Jewish!
It was all MY fault; I knew
there would be much cynical,
and sarcastic HUMOR, but THIS!"

[GENTLE SMILE.]
[SIGH.]
"Well......she IS getting to
know Me. And, that is good."

[GRUFF FROWN.]
"YES! But, does she want
to TALK to You?
[GRUFF NOD.]
NO!
[GRUFF SMILE.]
She only wants to talk to ME!
To RANT 'n RAVE at ME!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"But, Father!
She's USED to You!
This is only UNDERSTANDABLE!"

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"YES! And, do You
hear what she CALLS Me?
'Big Weeny'!
'Big Meany'!
'Mean'!
'Nasty'!
'Grumpy'!
[GRUFF LAUGH!]
And, the only things she
praises Me for are those
morning clouds over TEXAS,.....and
those CATS!"

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"Well......at least that is
SOMETHING! It could
be much WORSE, Father!
Think of it, THAT WAY!"

[GRUFF SHAKE OF THE HEAD.]
"Honestly.......I don't what
I'm gonna do with HER;
she BLAMES Me for everything
disagreeable in her LIFE!
As well in the whole WORLD!
Including the melting ICECAPS!
Not to mention on every PLANET!
Including PLUTO!"

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"Well......it could be a lot
WORSE, You know.........."

[GRUFF LAUGH.]
"HOW?
Yes.....yes; I agree.
[GRUFF SIGH.]
Well......as long as You are
making PROGRESS with
this child.....that's ALL
that counts!"

[GENTLE SIGH.]
"Well.......at least, lately, she sees
Me a little more than a
'Long-Haired, Peace Loving Hippy',
as she did in the early
'70's."

[GRUFF BURST OF LAUGHTER!]
"AH!
YES!
How TRUE!
[GRUFF NOD.]
Well!
As long as You're making
progress, Son......I guess
I can put up with a little more
of the sarcasm, and sassy,
irreverent humor."

[GENTLE SIGH.]
[GENTLE NOD.]
"Not to mention, all the
ranting and raving about
the....."

[GRUFF LAUGH!]
"Polar BEARS?"

[GENTLE SIGH.]
"Yes, Father....
oy....[SIGH.]
the, uh......
[GENTLE SMILE.]
the polar bears."
************************







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