Abstinence in America? – Yes says author Vivian Elebiyo
by Rev Michael Bresciani
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Author and talk show host Vivian Elebiyo is like the Oprah Winfrey of an alternate universe. She offers guidance and hope especially to young women. Brought up in a wholly different society, her powerful faith in God and a penchant for common sense make for one of the most irresistible voices of the decade. Who is this marvelous gift to America?
Vivian is the author of “My Virginity is Ruining My Sex Life” published by Triumph Publishing, but don’t let the title fool you. She offers more than unsupported advice on abstinence. Both her book and her radio shows offer powerful answers to women to choose a chaste life and actually save themselves for marriage.
The mention of withholding until marriage can invoke laughter from most in this generation but if better acquainted with the statistical, medical and emotional result of promiscuity Elebiyo says most young women would see it is no laughing matter.
The general consensus is do what your going to do but seek prevention from pregnancy or disease, Elebiyo says don’t do what everyone is doing and seek practical reasons and learn some not so obvious benefits attached to abstinence. The first of which is the inescapable truth that a woman’s virginity is not the purchase price of love, not even in marriage; much less outside of it.
Who is Vivian Elebiyo? A recent press release says “Vivian Elebiyo was born in 1979 in West Africa. Ms. Elebiyo’s specialties include abstinence, humor, spirituality, goal setting, topics pertaining to self-packaging, women's struggles, self-help on relationships, and finances. She is a Certified Abstinence Educator for the State of Florida. Ms. Elebiyo is also a member of the Christian Women Speakers Association and the Tallahassee Writers Association. Elebiyo holds a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Theology at the Center for Biblical Studies. She currently resides in Houston, Texas where she writes about sex, dating, and the teenage experience.”
In an interview with the American Prophet website Vivian explained how she advises women of all ages on her radio show which is called “Sex and the Single.” She also hosts an online show called DUI or “Dating under the Influence.” Her call-in shows are filled with practical advice on how to change the way a women decides who to date.
Her show calls on young women to redefine both themselves and what they think of sex. By integrating the two it is surprising how many women discover that these two things are not dependent on each other in the ways commonly accepted. A woman can be all that she wants without sex. That is something known by the greatest women of all time but is now lost awhile in the steamy social climate of the day.
Other subjects covered in her book and her shows are, ditching your sex life, how to build lasting relationships, how women can set boundaries and stick to them and last but not least how to save yourself for marriage. Not every one will agree with Vivian but even her detractors are forced to admit she is a women of great conviction endowed with a good helping of bravery. She is the kind of soft spoken hero that Americans used to look to and fortunately many still do.
Vivian’s “Dating under the Influence” on Blog Talk Radio is interlaced with great music and plenty of callers and it provides women with a platform and a place to air their feelings and problems in a way some teens and troubled women can never do with their parents or their husbands. This seems to be what makes it so attractive and gets them talking about things that they can’t bring up in other settings.
Vivian says that we are all getting a “mixed message.” She explains that “we have the media, friends and all the other influences around us especially among teens where they are told that there are certain things they can do that are having sex without actually having sex. This creates a conflict in women who end up thinking they can cross the line in many ways but without having sex. It leaves them asking themselves if they are truly still a virgin.” Her answers are geared toward dumping all the peripherals so women won’t even have to raise the question.
Her advice sounds like the practical way to explain the meaning conveyed in Mt. 5:28 “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” It isn’t what you end up doing that is wrong but even the intention or the need to skirt around the edges of it are also wrong.
Elebiyo says “that basically when women get touchy feely and playful with their dates they are breaking themselves up and giving themselves away in pieces.” When the moment has passed Vivian says the fragmentation of a woman’s personality becomes blaring and obvious. The result is diminishing self esteem, depression or something far worse.
She hardly needs to prove to anyone that the promiscuity of the day is wrecking lives because many of her callers are willing to explain the mess they have made of their own lives. While the world waits for psychology and other science to weigh in on the long range effects of unbridled prurient interests in young women, Vivian’s callers are weighing in with powerful examples of the failures of the modern view of love and sexuality.
Her shows are charged with inspiration, concern and encouragement for teens and young women yet she holds nothing back. She seems like a courageous women standing in the gap and trying to pull back some who have not yet been totally swallowed up by the licentious spirit of the day. She is a heroine indeed but more than that she is a voice for women who still believe in the God given dignity of womanhood.
Her theology is derived from the Bible. Skirting the perimeter on sexual issues may seem perfectly innocuous but the innuendo and overtone that is so easily accepted is in itself part of the problem. To keep both the mind and the body in check starts with the mind. Christ said it like this…”But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Mt. 5:28 If lusting is the same as doing then it is easier to understand why Jesus said “For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Mt. 5:20
Vivian’s website is at http://www.vivianspeaks.com Rev Michael Bresciani is an author and columnist for several online sites and magazines. His articles are now read throughout the world. For more articles, news, movie reviews and more visit http://www.americanprophet.org
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