Encouragement
THE JOURNEY
I’m on a journey, trying to find myself. The problem is that somewhere between 37 and 47 I got lost. I’m not really sure how it happened or where it began. I don’t remember buying a ticket or the date of departure. All I know is the man I used to know and think I was has faded away and I’m left with this stranger peering at me through the mirror. We stare at each other and he looks as confused as I do. The eyes look familiar, but where did all these wrinkles come from? Height is similar, but through some evil twist of fate my body has been switched! I don’t feel the same. It’s as if someone took out my energized batteries and put in used ones.
They tell me it is midlife, I say it’s hell. They say it will pass, I say that they are lying. The fog has never been thicker, the night has never been darker, and the way has never been so scattered.
I find myself begging with this god called time, and trying to negotiate for lost days. I was supposed to be rich! I was supposed to do something great! I was supposed to have accomplished so many other things! What happened? Is this all just a bad joke? Could time really be this fleeting? Am I really just mortal?
It feels like the fall and I forgot to enjoy spring and summer. All I see are bare trees, dead leaves and I feel this cold chill whispering to me that winter is on its way. Some say I’m depressed… that’s comforting.
I’m supposed to be strong, I’m supposed to have the answers, I’m supposed to know where I’m going. Gosh, I don’t even know where I am and I’m not exactly sure where I’ve been! All I know is that this deep ache inside won’t leave. It feels like someone has died and I fear it’s me! The boy is gone and the man I’m supposed to be can’t be found.
So what to do now? It occurred to me that when I was a boy scout and got lost in the dark, there were three things I needed to do. The first was to take an inventory of what I had. The second was to light a fire and the third was to be still and wait till the morning.
Inventory: It’s time to think of all the things I do have, like my family, my friends and my health. What about all of the wonderful experiences that I’ve enjoyed and all the little things I’ve taken for granite. Like my heart is still beating, my eyes can still see, my mind can still think. I can still love. I can still feel. I can still try.
Light a Fire: I can either mope or hope. I can’t fix the past but I still have a chance to change my future. It’s time to dream again. It’s time to get up and shake off the dust and find out who this new person will turn out like. It’s time to tare off this heavy cocoon of depression and let the sun of God’s love warm my wings so I can get on with this adventure called life!
Wait!!!! Could this be morning already??
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You've captured how things and given us hope. Super.
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