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At The Alphabet Buffet
by Jan Ackerson 
For Sale
Author requests article critique


Aloysius ate an after-dinner avocado.
Bartholomew began to burp, baffled.
Constance cooked chili with cracked cashews.
Douglas dunked doughnuts in a diamond decanter.
Esmeralda expected everyone to enjoy eating emu eggs.
Francine fancied figs, fixed firmly in fat.
Geoffrey grabbed a gallon of gamey green gazpacho.
Holden hungrily hoarded heaps of hearty hash.
Ignatius ignored ice cream, ingesting icky inchworms instead.
Julius? Just juice.
Kendra kept kneading her knish.
Louise liked lemon lollipops, but loathed the leg of lamb.
Megan stared at the stain, horrified.
Nobody needed nuts.
Oscar only offered olive oil, oafishly.
Phoebe picked peaches in porridge, partly peppered.
Quentin quaffed a quart of quinces.
Rosalyn really ruined the rancid radishes.
Stu and Sue stepped in the stew.
Tonya took two tamales and twelve treacle tarts.
Ursula undercooked an udder, then, upset, she upchucked.
Val was very voracious with the victuals.
Whitley wouldn’t waste the waffles.
Xerxes nixed boxed Chex Mix.
Yvonne yelled, “Yogurt, yum—yak, yucky!”
Zane zapped the zesty ziti.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Marijo Phelps 09 Oct 2008
Ahhhh, alliteration - loved it and wonder if you had as much fun writing it as I did reading it! GRIN
Anne Linington 13 Sep 2008
This has to be bu a teacher..as I know you are! What fun, but what happened to Megan's m's? I expected her to reappear at a later date, or was this for the children/ adults to find the odd one out? Could be.
Lesley-Anne Evans 03 Apr 2008
I seem to spend too little time digging around, because I completely missed yours, Jan! It's very witty and funny and I can imagine you had a good time writing this one. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Lesley-Anne
Lyn Churchyard 01 Apr 2008
Oh Jan, this was priceless. I almost choked on my coffee when I read "Megan stared at the stain. Horrified." I love this mini-challenge. The entries are of such a fun variety.
Betty Overstreet 01 Apr 2008
Hi Jan, What a fun piece to share with all of us out here in writersblock world who are wrestling with witty words wondering when we will win again! I always love to hear from you. Betty OVerstreet
LauraLee Shaw 01 Apr 2008
I don't usually like buffets, because I eat too much, but this was just right. Wowza!
David F. Palmieri Sr.  31 Mar 2008
Jan... You reQuested a critiQue, I Question why? This is Quite uniQue and has left me in a critiQue Quandry of sorts. So I will Quietly Queep my critiQus comments Quite Quietly to my self for fear of Qreating an offensive Quest...I guess I'm not the only one who gets stir crazy when there is no weekly challenge...Qreat artiQuile...
Marita Vandertogt 31 Mar 2008
Quentin quaffed a quart of quinces... loved this line - and I have no idea what a quinces is... overall a tongue twisting treat!
Holly Westefeld 31 Mar 2008
Definitely the next alphabet book best seller. This is full of wonderful alliteration, ripe images, and, in the midst of it all, the stain to which there will probably be ongoing allusions here on FW for a long time to come.
Pat Guy  31 Mar 2008
A classic Jan! One of those 'wonderful delights.' I'll bet you had fun. ;)
Gerald Shuler  30 Mar 2008
Will Megan still be staring at stains in the next challenge? Tune in tomorrow, same time, same channel. Loved the entire piece. I gorged myself at the Alphabet Buffet.
Beth LaBuff  30 Mar 2008
I see you've written a sequel to Megan's stain! This is so hilarious AND I LOVE IT! I was wondering where the name "Aloysius" came from. :)...and then enjoying eating emu eggs :)... to AN UNDERCOOKED UDDER! Ha ha! Now for my disappointment... I was sorry you used "Bartholomew" instead of "Beth BaBuff" :)
Tim Pickl 30 Mar 2008
How delightfully deliciously yummy! This line made me laugh: Esmeralda expected everyone to enjoy eating emu eggs. Then, when I read Megan's line I laughed again! It would make a great poster for Megan's door... ;)
Karen Wilber 30 Mar 2008
Alas, poor Megan, but you just HAD to put her in here. (an allusion!) For some reason, "Nobody needed nuts." really cracked me up. Maybe it was the juxtaposition to all the other food issues.
May Flowers 30 Mar 2008
Great fun reading it.Good job.
Joanne Sher  30 Mar 2008
Oh what fun! I also loved Megan (wish I hadn't read your comments so I could have snorted or something too) - and the images are SUPER. I could see this illustrated for upper-elementary-aged boys. :D
Kristen Hester 29 Mar 2008
Megan stared at the stain, horrified. When I saw that, I laughed out loud. Too clever! You are so creative. This was great. Poor Megan. She will forever be staring at stains.
Chely Roach 29 Mar 2008
Ditto on the LOL for Megan...I think I spit on my computer screen! Loved it! Sincerely~Not Karen
Catrina Bradley  29 Mar 2008
I didn't spit at reading 'Meagan...", but I did snot snot bubbles. (Ewww.) and undercooked udder? Umm.... Too funny. :)


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