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Jan's Mini Challenge Duo
by Pat Guy 
03/24/08
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Brown-out.

Megan stared at the stain, horrified. She couldn’t remember how it got there and now she was beginning to wonder about her sanity. Surely she would have remembered something like this.

She turned from the mirror and walked back to the kitchen. Yes, there it was, the top removed. It was impossible to guess at the damage, but that was okay … who was going to count how many chocolate chips were missing anyway?




Forever Sorrow

Megan stared at the stain, horrified. She kept scrubbing and scrubbing but it kept coming back; the flesh of her arms swollen and angry from the coarse rag and soap – peeling away memories as each one remembered.

It kept coming back.

The bike, the screech, the screams…the blood cradled in her arms wet against her chest. The last breaths of her precious little girl, “Mommy…mommy…mommmm…."

It kept coming back.

Megan stared at the stain, horrified.













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Member Comments
Member Date
Sally Hanan 25 Mar 2008
Remember how many chocolate chips she shoved into her mouth...come on!! :) So there's my mouth full of melting chocolate and then you go and kill a little kid. Way to kill a moment....
Lyn Churchyard 25 Mar 2008
Oh wow Pat! What two very, very different stories. One light and funny and the other totally heartbreaking. Gifted! absolutely gifted.
Glynis Becker  25 Mar 2008
Very well done on both counts! That second one is so powerful in such few words...fantastic!
Beth LaBuff  25 Mar 2008
You deliberately set out to challenge the cravings and addictions of FaithWriters with your first entry! :) --What fun! -- Your second entry does to break the readers heart. Excelente!
Holly Westefeld 25 Mar 2008
Very different--very funny, and very sad.
Karen Wilber  25 Mar 2008
Oh, Pat. How did you write that second one? I could hardly read it. Great contrast in stories. Both well written--eliciting completely different emotions and responses.
Janice Cartwright 25 Mar 2008
Not an easy write, but you did fabulous.
Janice Cartwright 25 Mar 2008
Not an easy write, but you did fabulous - especially at changing moods.
Jan Ackerson  24 Mar 2008
Oh, Pat, you broke my heart, too! You are SUCH a gifted writer. Now...back aWAY from the chocolate chips...that's right, back away...there's nothing to see here...
Chely Roach 24 Mar 2008
My goodness, these were awesome...
Kristen Hester 24 Mar 2008
What different emotions these too create. Excellent writing. I love them both for different reasons. Bravo!
Gerald Shuler  24 Mar 2008
"Now I know I have a heart", said the Scarecrow. "How do you know?" "Because it's breaking."




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