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The Home for Christian Writers!   Fiction PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING   LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE   HIRE THIS WRITER REPORT ARTICLE  TRACK THIS AUTHOR  ADD TO MY FAVORITES   Pitiful Attempt at the Mini Challenge by Hanne Moon  03/22/08 Not For Sale Author requests article critique  SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE  HIRE THIS WRITER Tweet Megan stared at the stain, horrified. They’d only had three dates, and she had just spilled a soda on the cloth seat of his new car. “Your mom had two blouses on. She took off the outer one and scrubbed at the spill like crazy,” Bill recounted to his daughter. “I thought you were going to dump me right there,” Megan smiled. “You showed you cared. I knew you were the one for me.” _____________________________________________________________________________ Megan stared at the stain, horrified. She watched the growing putrescence envelop her legs, her torso, her arms. The stench made her gag. “Oh, God! Help me!” she moaned. “God doesn’t live here,” hissed the hideous creature by her side, his eyes shining an unholy reddish glow. A light flashed. Demons howled. Megan shuddered as the rot fell from her body. “I do visit though,” said the gentle Voice, leading her away. Read more articles by Hanne Moon  or search for articles on the same topic or others. Read NEWEST ARTICLES by Christian authors Read MOST READ ARTICLES by Christian authors Read our most read and highly acclaimed CHALLENGE CONTEST ARTICLES JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel. If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.   This article has been read 666 times     < Previous | Next > Member Comments Member Date Betty Castleberry 26 Mar 2008 Whew, the second one made think. I like the way you tied present and past together with the first one. Nicely done. Pat Guy  25 Mar 2008 Wow! That second one gave me chills! I loved the contrast of sweet to powerful. Great stuff! Janice Cartwright  25 Mar 2008 I don't have enough adjectives for either but the second one was absolutely splendid. Wonderful writing. Holly Westefeld 24 Mar 2008 I love how you covered such a span of years in 75 words. The second was very creative. Glynis Becker  23 Mar 2008 Wow! Those are totally different and both fantastic!! Lyn Churchyard 22 Mar 2008 Pitiful attempt? I don't think so Hanne! Both great. Especally the second one. Wow what an ending. Well done! Tim Pickl 22 Mar 2008 WOW! What s atartling contrast of stories. Excellent writing. Jan Ackerson  22 Mar 2008 Excellent contrast in stories, Hanne! And that second one--wowsers, powerful stuff, and a superb last line. Kristen Hester  22 Mar 2008 EXCELLENT WRITING. These are very, very different. I enjoyed them both (well, perhaps I didn't ENJOY the second, but it was very powerful!) Great job (NOT pitiful in the least!) May Flowers 22 Mar 2008 Wow! What a picture in the second one. Good writing for both. K. J. Cash 22 Mar 2008 If a guy cares for his car more than his girl, let him drive away! The second one gave me chilly creepy feelings. Great job!!! Sally Hanan 22 Mar 2008 The first one was really cute. The second was so completely the opposite with a slammer of an ending. TRUST JESUS TODAY ALL SINS FORGIVEN Free Audio Bible 500 Plus Languages Faith Comes By Hearing.com

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