Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!



 
Fiction PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING

  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
Pitiful Attempt at the Mini Challenge
by Hanne Moon 
03/22/08
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





Megan stared at the stain, horrified. They’d only had three dates, and she had just spilled a soda on the cloth seat of his new car.

“Your mom had two blouses on. She took off the outer one and scrubbed at the spill like crazy,” Bill recounted to his daughter.

“I thought you were going to dump me right there,” Megan smiled.

“You showed you cared. I knew you were the one for me.”


_____________________________________________________________________________

Megan stared at the stain, horrified. She watched the growing putrescence envelop her legs, her torso, her arms. The stench made her gag.

“Oh, God! Help me!” she moaned.

“God doesn’t live here,” hissed the hideous creature by her side, his eyes shining an unholy reddish glow.

A light flashed.

Demons howled.

Megan shuddered as the rot fell from her body.

“I do visit though,” said the gentle Voice, leading her away.


If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by Hanne Moon  or search for articles on the same topic or others.


Read More - Free Reprints, Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Christian writers can JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and help spread the Gospel.


The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed
Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 837 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date
Betty Castleberry 26 Mar 2008
Whew, the second one made think. I like the way you tied present and past together with the first one. Nicely done.
Pat Guy  25 Mar 2008
Wow! That second one gave me chills! I loved the contrast of sweet to powerful. Great stuff!
Janice Cartwright 25 Mar 2008
I don't have enough adjectives for either but the second one was absolutely splendid. Wonderful writing.
Holly Westefeld 24 Mar 2008
I love how you covered such a span of years in 75 words. The second was very creative.
Glynis Becker  23 Mar 2008
Wow! Those are totally different and both fantastic!!
Lyn Churchyard 22 Mar 2008
Pitiful attempt? I don't think so Hanne! Both great. Especally the second one. Wow what an ending. Well done!
Tim Pickl 22 Mar 2008
WOW! What s atartling contrast of stories. Excellent writing.
Jan Ackerson  22 Mar 2008
Excellent contrast in stories, Hanne! And that second one--wowsers, powerful stuff, and a superb last line.
Kristen Hester 22 Mar 2008
EXCELLENT WRITING. These are very, very different. I enjoyed them both (well, perhaps I didn't ENJOY the second, but it was very powerful!) Great job (NOT pitiful in the least!)
May Flowers 22 Mar 2008
Wow! What a picture in the second one. Good writing for both.
K. J. Cash 22 Mar 2008
If a guy cares for his car more than his girl, let him drive away! The second one gave me chilly creepy feelings. Great job!!!
Sally Hanan 22 Mar 2008
The first one was really cute. The second was so completely the opposite with a slammer of an ending.




TRUST JESUS TODAY











Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com