Most teens go through alot in their life. Some even from infanthood, or a accident related incident, an assult, abuse, boyfriend breakup, emotional showdown. There may be a part in your life that makes you feel frustrated, depressed, like no one cares.
Just know you're not the only one. If any teen or young adult is feeling discouraged with their past or present time, let me remind you that every person goes through trials and tribulations, and we're not perfect. This story and testimony is what I'm going to show you of how much I've changed from since I was young, to now when I'm 18.
To all the shy and special girls and guys our there. I hope this can be a testimony to you.I encourage you to pass this on to every teen you know.
As it begins from 6-16 years old, my dad had some affairs and never home. I cannot tell you how much my brother missed him. When I would go to church service I was happy but didn't feel all the way happy and joyful like a kid inside. I never sang during church service, I was too afraid. I had no friends, no one would understand why I wouldn't talk sometimes.
I was fearful, neglected,and saddened. My brother would slam me against the wall, and my dad had a anger problem that seemed to get worse and worse. He slammed my brothers head into the wall. I remember the the bits and pieces if plaster go flying. I would have nightmares that my family was going to kill each other.
My brother went to wilderness camp and had been to 4 hospitals, 3 group homes, and now had ended up there because he got mad at me for ripping his hadnbook to a video game, and had purposely pushed my chair over and had rubbed crayon in my face. I was 13 then, and he was 16. He had stolen from about 9 to more different shops. He had things he never bought stored in his room. My birthday presents were usually stolen presents.
Dont get me wrong. My family was a good christian family.We went to church every sunday and my mom was a strong christian. They did everything they could for him. He was just out of control. And satan had taken over the house. He knew how my family were strong christians, and he knew how to mess with each of my brothers.
When I was 13 I had no one to talk to. My brothers ignored me, especially my oldest brother. When I would speak to him he would not speak to me. And him and my dad would form sort of a huddle and leave me and my mom out.
My family wasn't the only thing that was bothering me. I was bothered by thoughts of killing someone. I didn't know why I had these insane thoughts. I had pictures of killing my mom with a knife. I hated everyone who didnt like me. I didnt know what to do for my future. My pet cat died( which was a big grief.) He was my number #1 friend. At age 12-16 I was being homeschooled because of the bullying going on at school, and my trouble with math. The kids picked on me because I had a nervous habit of picking at my head. They called me lice head. I was afraid of talking. I would scream alot if something made me mad. I thought every day was a bad day, was disinterested with youth group because of the cliques, didnt have a boyfriend, hated calling people on the phone.
Whew! Alot of stuff huh? May sound discouraging to you right now after you've read this, but read on. Something happened. All you shy girls, let this be hope for you.
At age 17 I had happened to go to church camp with my youth group, and everything changed from after my experience at camp. God told me he wanted me to be a missionary.
It just so happened that in one particular service,on one particular day in July 20, 2006. I broke free from the bonds that had kept me back. I felt a release. I was free! And no longer shy. I started jumping up and down and screaming praise during service. I was no longer afraid of people and speaking out. I made new friends, and God led me to go to public highschool, and be a witness. I became a worship leader and finally got to sing(people liked me so much they told me I needed to make cds.)
The next thing that happened, was I found out that what I had was ocd. It was what had caused me to feel so depressed and afraid of people and what they thought. Ocd caused you to have thoughts of hurting others, and can often cause alot of confusion. I was finally realizing who I was. I didnt really want to hurt anyone. It was just a whole thought, that wouldnt go away. I also found out I had a touch of aspergers that can cause you to be overwhelmed with things and not understand what others are saying sometimes. I started taking medicine and I felt so much better. I had no more nightmares.
I started being more outgoing, I preached to people in the hallways. I loved people more, I was no longer depressed, I knew what God wanted to do for my life. To be a missionary and reach out to other depressed young teens like I had been, maybe even you. If your a young teen reading this.
I did better with math, with the medicine.
I had been saved since I was 6 and I had loved Jesus. Now I had a whole new renewing of spirit that just filled my old self. God had changed me.
I started helping out with nursery and helping with the kids. I called some people, my oldest brother went to college, and my other brother who was so into stealing and loving satan got a job after he came back home.
People started asking me why I was always smiling. Why I'm so joyful all the time. I started leaving tracks in the bathroom. And witnessed to 5 people. Two people gave their lives to God in highschool.
I am 18, and this is who I am now. I am getting ready to graduate, I am a leader in Christian Athletes, people call me preacher girl for my boldness to stand for God in school. I am a greeter in youth group, and sing solos.
Coming this fall I will train to be a missionary in the parts of Africa who have not heard Gods word yet. I know there are other parts of the world who have not heard Gods word, and he may lead me there, but he showed me a vision of Africa. People carrying large sacks, and pleading for help.
God has given me the gift to witness to everyone I see. I love meeting new people now, I'm hardly bothered by my thoughts I used to have, I love going on youth trips and having fun, talking to people.
People now say that I am outgoing, vibrant, and a special person. Much different to the depressed, sad, not so happy girl.
So you see, whether you're a young teen, 12 or maybe 16; don't be afraid of others or with life. God has a plan for your life. Each person changes as they grow older. If you're shy, depressed, or scared know that everyone has problems , but at the end they work it all out. When the time comes you'll know your not the only one. Jesus loves you and has a plan for your life.
I was a scared and awkward girl afraid of people but now God has molded me to be a radiant princess; and soon enough it will be YOU bursting forth from little Miss. Poppit to little Miss Princess. Trust in Him and you'll never be afraid. God will help you, and again know that
"Your not the Only One."
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Hannah-I really enjoyed this writing! Very descriptive and detailed. I love animals myself and look at them as being beautiful creatures that God created to live on earth with us.
You did an amazing job of depicting the suffering that they unneccessarily go through.
I feel after reading some of your writings you are a talented and gifted writer.