Politics
In those days
there was no king
in Israel;
every man did
what was right
in his own eyes.
[Judges 17:06]
****************************
"Hey, LORD?"
"What is it, My precious."
"I think this is all a bunch
of hogwash."
"What, My precious."
"THIS!
This ELECTION!
What I just heard about,
on the radio! Weren't
You LISTENING?"
"Ah.
[PATIENT NOD.]
Yes."
"WELL?
Hey, I think we Americans
got a RIGHT to complain
about the state of things;
just take a look at the
front page of the newspaper,
Ya know?"
"Yes, My child."
"Heck, we've got this
Presidential election comin
up, and all we got are a
bunch 'a yahoos throwing
sticky mud at each other."
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"I'm thinking about voting
for Pumpkin, Lord."
[CHUCKLE.]
"Well, why NOT, Lord?
He's got more character,
in the tip of his kinked tail,
than all those dippity-dos
put together."
[VERY SOLEMN NOD.]
"Perhaps, My precious."
"You bet!
Hey, I mean, I know
there's that spraying problem,
but it wouldn't be the first
time we had THAT in the
Oval Office, Ya know:
remember the LAST
President, we had?"
[CHUCKLE..]
"And, the thing about
having a cat as President,
they sleep most of the
time, anyway, so there's
not much trouble they
can get into."
[VERY SOLEMN NOD.]
"Yeah. We could just
put his litter box underneath
that big desk in the Oval Office.
We'd have to get a dark blue
one to match that round rug.
Pumpkin's declawed, so he
won't do much to it;
well, only when
he upchucks his weekly
fur ball."
"Yes, My beloved."
"Yeah, and Pumpkin crosses
the interracial boundaries;
after all, he's both Jewish,
AND a completing Christian."
[VERY SOLEMN NOD.]
"And, what does this mean,
My beloved."
"Huh? Oh, well.....that,
he was born a Jew, but does
accept Christ Jesus
as his Savior. He's still a
little iffy on the whole Holy Spirit
issue, but we've hoping that
will come with time.
He doesn't completely
understand the Book of
Revelation, but I don't
think anybody does -
except You, Lord.
Actually, the only important
question Pumpkin's got about that
particular Scripture is:
If the Apostle John
was stuck on that
mucky island,
the whole time he was
taking those long notes
from You.......where did
he get all that PAPER from?"
[LOVING NOD.]
"All this is a Mystery,
My child."
"I guess so, Lord.
And, Pumpkin's really
working on his prayer
time, without totally
spending it on a lotta'
indiscriminate kvetching."
"I have seen progress,
My precious."
"I think he might make a
darn fine Christian,
one day."
"Good, child."
"I agree, Lord.
Plus, Ya know he's neutered,
so there's none of that
boy-girl stuff, to think about:
definitely no inviting strays
up for midnight pizza, or anyting.
Plus, he's up to date on all
his shots. And, the ring
worm finally went away.
And, I mean, not that
this matters, but,
Pumpkin's white and black,
with a calico-mix."
[STERN FROWN.]
(giggle.)
"And, we could lower the taxes,
just on account of Pumpkin's
upkeep: no more big White
House parties, Ya KNOW?
And, we wouldn't have to
worry about security: every time
he went out, he'd only need
one secret service guy to
hold him in the plastic
carrier, I bought for him,
from Petsmart."
[LAUGH!]
"Yeah, I mean his favorite
dinner costs 57 cents a can
at Walmart. Frankly, I
don't why us Americans
didn't think of this, before."
"It is a wonder, My precious."
"So, whad'Ya THINK, Lord?
Should I encourage all of
us Americans to vote
for Pumpkin, on the 2008
ticket?"
"Perhaps, My child."
"Yeah; we wouldn't
have to pay for all those
expensive speech makers:
Pumpkin would just hop up
to the platform, yawn a
few dishartened meows,
turn around a few times
on top 'a the lecturn,
finally sit down to
lick his tail, and innard parts,
then curl up, and go
to sleep. There's not much
else to say about the
state of our Union,
anyway."
[PATIENT SILENCE.]
"Well, I've made up my
mind, Lord."
"Good, child."
"The only problem I
could think of was
deciding which party
he should represent:
but, it suddenly dawned
on me which one would
be just purrfect."
"What, My child."
"Independent."
[WISE NOD.]
*************************
And God said,
Let the earth
bring forth living creatures
according to their kinds:
cattle and creeping things,
and beasts of the earth.....
and God saw
that it was good.
[Genesis 1:24-25]
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