Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!



 
Children PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING

  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
Disney Land Adventures Book 2 The Journey of Nature
by Bryce Fultz
02/25/08
Free to Share
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





To my brothers, Tyler and Rylan Fultz. I don't know what I did to deserve brothers like you. You help me in my storylines, Tyler with the overall plot and Rylan with comic relief. Thank you. Your loving brother, Bryce Jameson Fultz.

Chapter 1: A Tournament

Carmonni, the nature bender, fought with his sword, Aquarius, as he had never fought before. He felt as if every muscle in his body was being used and every new pulse of blood brought pain and energy to him as he battled against his opponent. He fought as if the fate of the world rested on his shoulders with Queen Cinderella looking from her throne on high.
It had been three months since Bambi, Ariel, Timon, Pumbaa, Stitch, Carmonni, Thumper, Flower, Kenai, and Simba set out to rescue Cinderella and the prince from the vile clutches of Canadat, the evil witch, and Prince Renshal, lord of the Canyon of no Return. It was in there that Carmonni had, seemingly, betrayed his friends. They also found Cinderella, who was enchanted into doing Renshal and Canadat’s bidding. It was only when she released Cinderella that the group learned of her true plot to conquer the disordered country of Disney Land. She also did horrible things to the team with magic, the worst of which was turning Cinderella into a six-year-old girl.
But Carmonni hadn’t betrayed them. He and Bambi had come up with a plan to get Canadat and Renshal off their guards and get them overconfident that they could win. With that over with, Carmonni was about to strike the fatal blow to his friend, Ariel, who was turned back into a mermaid by Canadat’s black magic, but healed her instead. Then, Carmonni pinned Canadat and Renshal together and banished them to a nether realm.
After Frederick and Cinderella’s coronation, Carmonni had gotten some friends along with the ones he already had and built a house for all of them, but not all of them were there. Simba had left to continue his royal duties as the king of the Pride Lands, Kenai, the bear, had left to return to his brother, and Thumper the rabbit, with Flower the skunk, left for the Light Forest. It had only been a few days after making their house, when Cinderella herself came and visited the group. Then she thanked them and told them, actually it was Ariel who guessed it, that she was pregnant.
Now, as I said three years later, a tournament was being held. Carmonni entered it so he could get his fighting style back after three years of leisure. Although, he made a solemn vow that he wouldn’t use his nature powers. Because Carmonni was a nature bender, that meant that he could control animals and plants at will. So he started in the tournament and won nearly every match he had done so far.
Though he was doing well, he wasn’t now. He was facing someone in something that looked like Chinese Armor, with a helmet and cloth that covered everything but his eyes. He used a bunch of bizarre movements to try and disarm him, but Carmonni still managed to block him, barely. Then, he also spun his sword around and disarmed his opponent.
“Carmonni is the winner!” Shouted the referee as Carmonni raised his arms, both of which had brown gauntlets, to the cheering crowd. He knew that they were impressed and that some of them were his good friends.
As he went off, he saw his opponent run off his way and almost knocked him over in passing. Carmonni brushed some dirt off and ran after him. He was in the commoner’s town when he saw his opponent dart behind a building. He saw him take off his helmet, letting long, raven-colored hair down. Then he took the cloth off and Carmonni gasped so loud that his opponent saw him. At this, he, but Carmonni now knew that “he” was really a she, seemed very angry.
“What’s your problem?” Asked Carmonni, calmly.
“YOU are my problem.” She threw back at him “Are you here to gloat or are you going to go off and tell anyone that I’m a woman?!”
“Neither.” Answered Carmonni, calmly “It wouldn’t be very kind of a knight to reveal a woman’s secret.”
It was true, about two years ago, Carmonni and his friends were knighted.
“Would a knight follow a woman?!” She threw back at him.
“You were in such a hurry, AND you knocked me over, I thought I’d see what you were up to.” Answered Carmonni, then he offered her a hand “I’m Carmonni and I won’t tell anyone your story.”
The woman seemed to think about this when she held out her hand and they shook each other’s hand and she replied, in a kinder voice, “I’m Mulan from the Dynasty Mountains.”
When they broke off Carmonni leaned against the building they were behind and asked “Do you miss your people in the Dynasty Mountains?”
“No.” Replied Mulan, getting a cold edge to her voice “They’re all just a bunch of superstitious mountain folk. They think that if we get off the mountain, the ground will swallow us up.”
“Well,” continued Carmonni, taken aback by this “How about your family?”
“They didn’t think so, that’s why they were thrown off the mountain in the first place.” Answered Mulan, “The people called them non-believers, then I went off to prove them wrong. I think that if I returned, they’d think that I was a spirit and they, most likely, have had a funeral for me.”
“That doesn’t sound fair.” Said Carmonni “Not letting your kids go off a mountain because of superstition.”
“You’re telling me.” Replied Mulan
Carmonni started to walk away, when Mulan stopped him.
“Wait, Carmonni!” Said Mulan, but she seemed to have gotten sense back into her body “Sorry.”
Carmonni just shrugged and walked away.
Chapter 2: Bad Advice
During that same night, Cinderella was getting into her nightgown and got into bed. It was exciting at the tournament and she thought that Carmonni, being a person from Nickelodeon Land, deserved this. She got into her bed alone, because King Frederick was away in some faraway land.
“Time to try and get another good night’s sleep.” She said as she pulled the covers over her chest and sunk into sleep.
She was walking in the middle of a beautiful field with butterflies fluttering around her. One landed on her finger and whispered, what sounded like, “Beware.”
Then it flew off and the beautiful blue sky turned red like blood. The, she seemed to be going forward and she saw the Canyon of no Return, which turned into a giant dragon and took flight. Then it turned towards her and began flying towards her. Cinderella tried running away, but she was going nowhere fast and the dragon seemed to catch her in its mouth.
She woke up in another cold sweat and gasping for breath. This wasn’t the first time she had a nightmare like this. For three years now, night after night, Cinderella had the same nightmare that haunted her dreams. She got out of her bed and got a cup of water and went to her bed. The problem was that there was someone already on it.

“I have been waiting for you.” Said the person, most likely a girl, in a monotonous voice.
“Show yourself.” Said Cinderella, still keeping a calm edge to her voice as the person got up.
It was a girl, no older than twelve with blank, staring eyes, that were deep violet, and didn’t seem to have lids, because she didn’t blink a lot. She also had platinum blonde hair that fell to her bottom.
“I am Candal.” Said the girl in her monotonous voice “I also know the art of reading dreams. I know what you have been dreading.”
“What are you talking about?” Asked Cinderella, who was sweating so hard that they were visible even in the dark room.
“Don’t play that game with me.” Continued Candal “I know that you are dreading the Canyon of no Return, which I now guess is a misnomer. You have been having the same nightmare over and over again. You fear returning to there. But, you needn’t worry. You’re a queen, so you won’t return there, yet you fear it anyway.”
Cinderella didn’t answer, this was a very unusual girl. She knew her very fears.
“Don’t worry.” Said Candal, showing a small grin “I have a way to rid you of your fear of the Black Canyon forever.”
Jaq, the mouse had just entered a room through a small hole, saw Candal, and let a small scream escape his mouth.
“Don’t trust her!” Stammered the mouse to Cinderella “She’s evil!”
Candal just brushed him aside.
“How can you do that?” Asked Cinderella, her heart thumping like a drum.
“Simple, you just need to give me a position in your court.” Answered Candal, cool as a cucumber.
“Don’t give her anything!” Shouted Jaq “Cinderell-y she’s a user of black magic! In fact, she’s using it now!”
“What position do you want?” Asked Cinderella, ignoring Jaq.
“As you advisor.” Answered Candal “I can also teach you rudimentary magic, but not the full thing. After all, it isn’t the thing for a queen to know.”
“Don’t listen to her!” Screamed Jaq, almost at the top of his lungs. Then, Cinderella finally turned to him with a look of pure rage on her face.
“SILENCE!” She shouted, knocking him out with a small blow.
Cinderella turned to Candal with the same look of rage on her face as she said “The position is yours!”
Candal’s face lit up like a light bulb.
Chapter 3: Things get worse
Carmonni instinctively knew something was wrong. Cinderella hadn’t been acting herself ever since the week before. She was stripping the rights of all the commoners and making all houses around her castle go condo, houses only for her lords and ladies. She also seemed to be stripping away rights of the beasts of Disney Land, too.
“If this keeps up, there’s gonna be another war.” Said Carmonni to his friends in their house “And it’ll take more than Snow White to end it.”
“At least we’re on the outskirts.” Said Timon “But everyone from the commoner’s town is near here.”

It was true, ever since Cinderella was taking away rights of the citizens, they moved to the very outskirts where their new tyrannical queen was. She even made a decree that all intelligent beasts be tagged, Timon and Pumbaa managed to hide from the guards somehow.
“If this keeps up,” said Ariel “All Disney Land will be her domain, even where the beasts are.”
“Then we’ll be banished by some unknown force.” Said Timon with a chuckle. He didn’t know how right he was.
Chapter 4: Two Different Souls
Cinderella was feeling guilty for steadily stripping away the rights of her people. She chose to put it to rest until tomorrow and for now, her rest.
She had the same nightmare, only there were three dragons and tried to engulf her in bright flames. She woke in another cold sweat and with Candal right next to her with a strange-looking stone in her hands.
“Good evening, my lady.” Said Candal with her usual voice that sounded like a monotone “How was your slumber?”
“It’s getting worse.” Answered Cinderella, clutching her heart.
“Yes, that happens with mere nightmares.” Answered Candal with another small smile “Some of them are like fevers, they get worse before they get better. But if you want them done immediately, we have to go into the throne room.”
“All right.” Said Cinderella as she followed Candal out of her room and down the winding staircase. They finally got into the throne room.
“Sit there.” Said Candal gesturing at Cinderella’s throne. The queen took the throne and Candal took out her stone, which was black as ebony.
“Bloodline of magic!” Shouted Candal, breaking out of her monotone for once “Bring my blood out of the nightmare! Return her for domination and conquer!”
Then there was a flash of dark purple light and, in about half an hour, a woman was standing right next to Candal. Cinderella recognized her: she had long, black hair that fell to her feet, a long red robe that trailed along the floor, bright green eyes like a toy that glows in the dark, and a long black staff with a bright green hourglass at the end. After three years of being sealed away in the nether realm, Canadat had returned to Disney Land again.
“You.” Growled Cinderella, though it was less than a whisper.
“Me.” Returned Canadat “Well done, Candal.”
“Candal…” said Cinderella.
“Yes.” Answered Candal as she turned her head looking a bit guilty “I am the daughter of Canadat and Renshal.”
“You see,” said Canadat with a grin “When Renshal and I were banished, I had a girl, a lot like what you’re going to have.”
Cinderella knew she was pregnant, but she had oppressed her people without knowing it for the spawn of the woman who had given her these terrible nightmares and troubles; now she was going to do something very rash. She took a sword and ran at Canadat, but with a spell from Canadat, it broke in half.
“As you see,” said Canadat, fingering her staff like it was a baby “My knowledge of spells hasn’t wavered in three years.”
“What’s your plot THIS time?” Asked Cinderella, casually.
“Without a sick, but dead king and a new one, as well as a queen in his place, I thought about it for three years.” Answered Canadat with a mock edge of thought to her voice “Then I realized that the only way to conquer the continent would be to take the Ruling Stone.”
“I won’t let you take the Ruling Stone!” Said Cinderella, getting a spear. The Ruling Stone was an heirloom of the royal family and allowed anyone to shape the land of Disney Land the way he or she wanted it to and would make the user the automatic king or queen until it was taken again “You’re lucky that Frederick is away! Or else…”
“Oh, he isn’t gone.” Interrupted Canadat, but Candal wasn’t answering and tears were rolling down her face “He’s right here.”
Canadat took something out of Candal’s pocket, which was a locket and opened it. There was a life-like picture of King Frederick in it.
“So lifelike.” She said “Although, YOU probably enjoyed him more IN life.”
“I still won’t let you take the Ruling Stone!” Shouted Cinderella.
“Oh, I think you will.” Said Canadat, raising her staff “And I also think that you’ll help me do it.”
Her staff started to glow and Cinderella vanished in a green flash. When the light vanished, two Cinderellas were there only there was a few differences. One had a white gown, the other had a black one. One had blue eyes, the other had feral yellow eyes. One had an expression of confusion, the other had one of cruelty.
Both the women looked confused and mimicked each other’s movements.
“What have you done?” Asked the one with the white gown.
“I simply split your soul in two.” Answered Canadat with a wicked grin on her face “You are the light, the other is the dark.”
“It’s good to be free.” Said the dark soul as both of them turned towards Canadat “And for doing that, I’ll help you find this ‘Ruling Stone’.”
“That was part of my plan.” Said Canadat “Now, what to do with the good one, I know!”
With a blast of magic, Cinderella’s light soul turned into an orb of white light.
“What have you done to me?!” Asked the orb.
“I removed your corporeal form.” Answered Canadat, pointing her wand at it again, before shouting “AWAY!”
The orb then flew, screaming, into the sky and vanished.
“Could you teach me to do that?” Asked the dark soul.
“Very easily, my friend.” Answered Canadat with a grin “But first, we have work to do.”
“Whatever it is, I’ll do it.” Said the dark soul.
Canadat hadn’t smiled that brightly since Carmonni agreed to join her (it was a trick, you know).

“How could things get any worse?!” Shouted Timon as they were leaving the town with their bags over their shoulders.
To explain things, we have to go back a few hours ago. Cinderella’s dark soul, or I guess we should start calling her Dark Cinderella, had come out and shouted to the gathering of people. The people thought something was definitely wrong. She had feral yellow eyes, like that of a predator’s, a black gown, and a voice filled with cruelty. Anyway, she shouted to the crowd, “Listen hither, people. Carmonni the nature bender, Ariel, Timon and his stupid warthog, Stitch, AND Bambi, the king of the Forest of Light are hereby banished from anywhere between here and the Canyon of no Return!”
Guards soon surrounded the six and they had to fight their ways out. Before more guards could come, the six were past the border and heading in no particular direction.
“How could this happen?” Asked Ariel “One day we’re her friends, the next, we’ve been banished.”
“Beats me.” Said Carmonni, wringing his hands in his brown hair.

They’ve been banished for almost a month when they stopped at a place where Carmonni dropped from exhaustion.
Chapter 5: Destiny

“Wake up, will ya’?” Asked an unfamiliar voice.
Carmonni didn’t know what to make of it, so he opened his eyes to find a creature more unusual than Stitch. It appeared to be a mouse, but it had two large circles for ears on the top of his head.
“What the…” said Carmonni “Who are you and how did I get here?”
“Well, first of all,” said the creature “my name is Mickey, Mickey mouse. And your friends took you here when you dropped from exhaustion.”
“Well, where’s here?” Asked Carmonni.
“You’re in the famed Happy Valley!” Answered Mickey, happily.
“That’s a cheesy name.” Said Carmonni with a small chuckle.
“Well we HAD to name it something,” said Mickey “and 3rd Street was already taken.”

After Carmonni got out, he found his friends waiting for him.
“I’m here!” Shouted Carmonni with a grin and said, rather calmly “Now what were your OTHER two wishes?”
He got a reaction that true friends would defiantly give. Stitch crawled around him, which Carmonni recognized as his way of a hug, Timon gave him a high five, and Pumbaa tackled him and sent Carmonni to the ground.
“How long have I been out?” Asked Carmonni.
“Almost five days, this is the fifth one.” Answered Bambi “Ariel was getting worried after the second one.”
Carmonni didn’t answer, but grinned a bit and left the room.
“I guess that the results weren’t exactly what you expected, huh?” Asked Timon to Ariel, not expecting an answer.

That night, Carmonni flopped onto his bed without even bothering to take his clothes off. He had been hearing a voice that was repeating his name over and over again, but only he could hear it. He thought that it would stop by morning, but he was wrong.
“Carmonni…” whispered a voice.
Carmonni tried to ignore it as usual, but now the voice was louder than ever.
“Carmonni…” it said.
Carmonni darted up to see if anyone was playing a trick on his. He darted his head all over his room, but nobody was there. So he laid back down, but he had no sooner done that than the voice returned.
“Carmonni!” It shouted so loud that Carmonni had to cover his ears.
“What?” He asked to nobody in particular.
“Well, you HAVE been ignoring me all day, what did you think I would do?” Said the voice with a chuckle and Carmonni could hardly help but join him.
“Well, who are you?” Carmonni asked after the voice’s remark.
“I am the creator of all things you see. From your friends to the very valley you’re in.” Answered the voice echoing with regality.
“Do you have a name?” Asked Carmonni.
“Yes. I go by many names, but the one that people call me the most is Walt.” Answered the voice.
“Well, why didn’t you start?” Asked Carmonni.
“It was for dramatic emphasis, but that’s beside the point. Anyway a great evil that you are familiar with has returned to Disney Land.”
“You mean, Canadat?” Asked Carmonni.
“Yes,” answered Walt “Through fear and trickery, she has returned and summoned the queen’s dark soul, banishing the light one. THAT’S why she banished you. They joined forces.”
“So what can I do about it?” Asked Carmonni.
“When Canadat was first banished to the nether realm, I had one of my Valaden, a minor god, make a prophecy.” Said Walt “The prophecy was that Canadat would escape two times and a foreigner with the symbol of the green tiger would destroy her once and for all.
That’s you, Carmonni of the Nature Benders. But in order to defeat her, you must seek out the Philosopher’s stone, a mystical gemstone that can wipe out any evil, if used correctly. But you cannot do it alone. I will send someone to help you, with everyone else, you’re on your own.”
“So, I’m basically destined to kill Canadat with some friends.” Said Carmonni.
“Yes.” Answered Walt “But you must leave immediately, because Canadat’s spies could be anywhere. Just pack what you need.”

This wasn’t quite the time that Carmonni had expected. He took some food, his whistle to summon his eagle friend, his sword, Aquarius, and a present Ariel had given him a year ago: a small sapphire on a necklace with symbols of sea creatures on it. He then decided to do something he’d never do in daylight: he went into Ariel’s room, gently kissed her, and left a note.
He swung his sword into his scabbard, put the necklace around his neck and set off. There was a problem: he wasn’t alone.
“You think that I don’t know when people are up to something?” Asked a voice.
Carmonni quickly whirled around to face…Mickey Mouse?
“What do you want?” Asked Carmonni, impatiently, he wanted this thing to end.
“Oh, nothing I just heard you talking to someone and I thought I’d see what you were up to.” Answered the mouse.
“Sorry, but Walt…”
“Walt? The great creator of this world?” Asked Mickey.
“Yes.” Answered Carmonni with a frustrated sigh “Walt told me that I have to find the Prophet’s Shard. It’s my destiny.”
“Then I’m coming with you.” Said the mouse with a chuckle.
“What do you know of quests?” Asked Carmonni.
“Well I served in the army for a few years.” Answered Mickey “And I still have my old sword.”
Mickey the drew a long, thin sword much like a long stick made of steel.
“Nice.” Said Carmonni, then he heard shuffling upstairs. His heart was thumping, his heart quickened, he drew his sword, he twirled around…it was Stitch.
“What Carmonni doing up so late?” Asked Stitch.
“Looks like I have to bring you along, too.” Said Carmonni “You’re coming with us to find the Prophet’s Shard!”
“What Prophet’s Shard?” Asked the experiment.
“It’s a method to destroy evil.” Answered Carmonni “Now, I’ve already taken enough time.”
“What about friends?” Asked Stitch.
“I left a note by…” Started Carmonni.
“By his girlfriend’s bed.” Answered Mickey with a chuckle.
“What?! We’re not…I mean not yet…I mean…Let’s just get GOING!” Stammered Carmonni.
Chapter 6: Black Magic

Canadat and Dark Cinderella were laughing mercilessly in the throne room. Every now and again Canadat’s staff would glow and some food would appear for them to consume. Meanwhile, Candal was silently crying because her mother would hit her every now and again, some times for not doing something quickly enough or just for the sake of it.
“I still can’t believe that Candal tricked your light soul so easily!” Cackled Canadat.
“Me either.” Laughed Dark Cinderella “There’s just one thing I’d like to know: How did you cause me to take over the entire corporeal form?”
“Quite simple.” Answered Canadat “In the Nether Realm, I only have the magic to manipulate fears. So I made Cinderella fear the memory of the Canyon of no Return, then I bound Candal to her fear. I couldn’t do it myself, because I bound myself to her dingbat stepsister’s jealousy. Then when she was afraid enough in her sleep, Candal would silently appear and make her do what I wanted her to do in exchange for a fictitious end to her nightmares. When she really trusted Candal, for a bit of fun, I had her bring me out of that nightmarish nether realm. Then, you know the rest. You tried to kill me; I prevented it and split her in two, you and her light soul. Then I removed its corporeal form and banished it.”
“Won’t you teach me some of that magic?” Asked Dark Cinderella.
“I don’t see why not.” Answered Canadat “First lesson, when you want to change someone just think of what you REALLY think of them as. Let’s have an example: guard!”
A guard entered the room.
“Now what do you think of this underling as?” Asked Canadat.
Dark Cinderella seemed to think for a while, then she seemed to decide on something and dark purple light hit the guard. When it vanished, the guard was gone and a maggot was left in his place.
“All these guards are just maggots to me!” Shouted Dark Cinderella, triumphantly.
“Remember, that was only lesson one.” Replied Canadat “When we’re finished you’ll almost be as strong a me.”
Chapter 7: The Journey Begins

“Are you sure that you’re friends can handle this?” Asked Carmonni in the darkness of early morning.
“Sure,” answered Mickey “Donald and Goofy are as good friends as they come, they’ll take care of you’re friends and with that note you wrote, it should be even easier to let them know.”

Well, if you’re wondering why it’s a cliffhanger, it’s because this story was almost completed on my laptop, but the lousy thing crashed. I didn’t think I put enough people in there, anyway. So, just send me a message if there’s a place you want Carmonni and his friends to go to. I only have three places where I want them to go—areas based off Pirates of the Caribbean (I’m keeping Jack Sparrow in the fray. He’s funny!), the Nightmare Before Christmas (it was recently released by Disney), and Peter Pan (the last area). Just send me a message and I’ll see if I can work them in…except Narnia. I’m keeping THAT out of my book series (it would be too complicated).

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by Bryce Fultz or search for articles on the same topic or others.


Read More - Free Reprints, Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Christian writers can JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and help spread the Gospel.


The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed
Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 450 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date




TRUST JESUS TODAY











Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com