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A Prophet Walks Buttocks Uncovered
by Julie Michaelson
02/20/08
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[Author's note: Has the Lord
ever asked you to do something,
that, eh....you really DIDN'T
want to DO? I guess, sometimes,
as the song says, 'we have to
just trust, and OBEY'!]
________________________________
In the year
that the commander in chief,
who was sent by Sargon
the king of Assyria,
came to Ashdod
and fought against it....
At that time
the Lord had spoken by
Isaiah.....
saying, Go, and loose
the sackcloth from your
loins....
[Isaiah 20:1-2]
************************
Isaiah is lying against
a rock, with his bare feet in the
cool grass, in his backyard.
He's got a moth-eaten blanket
behind his scruffy head,
and munching on the
berries, that have
fallen off his favorite tree.
A soft mooing of Curdsey,
his favorite cow, can be
heard in the distance.
Suddenly, the top of the
berry tree begins to
wave in the breeze.
____________________
"ISAIAH!"

"Huh?"
(some berry juice
dribbles down Isaiah's
stubbly chin.)
Yeah, LORD?
Did'Ya CALL me?"

[PATIENT FROWN.]
"Isaiah!
What did I tell you
about eating too
many of those BERRIES?"

"Uh UH, Lord!
I've ONLY had a COUPLE!"
(burp)

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Isaiah, I've got another
job for you."

"Yeah, LORD?
What IS it?
Can I do it,
just while I'm LAYING here?"

"Perhaps, My child.
We'll see."

"Uh oh.
(whispers under berry breath)
What NOW?"

"I HEARD that, Isaiah!"

"Oops!
Hey, Lord!
Ya KNOW I didn't MEAN it!
So.....what kinda JOB do Ya
have for me, THIS TIME,
LORD?"

"It is very important, Isaiah.
First, you must remove all
your clothes."

"HUH?
But, LORD!
I already TOOK a bath,
just last WEEK!"

[FROWN.]
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"You must do this for Me,
Isaiah. It is part of
your Prophet job."

"Woe is me!
Hey, LORD!
I already GOT a JOB!"

"And, what is that,
My Isaiah?"

"I have 'ta look after
CURDSEY, and her CALF,
all DAY!"

"Yes, child.
But, this is for your Lord.
You can still do your day job;
don't worry about it."

(sigh.)
(stand up, shaking
berry stems off cloak.)
(yawn. burp.)
"Okay.......Lord.....
(dejected frown)
(look up at top of tree)
What'd Ya want me to do, NOW?"

"I've already told you, Isaiah:
remove all your clothes."

"Right NOW?
In front 'a ALL the NEIGHBORS?"

[NOD.]

"But.... WHY, Lord?
I ALREADY got my shoes, off!
Ain't that ENOUGH?"

"No.
You must do this thing, Isaiah.
You are My Prophet."

(squirm.)
(begin to wriggle out of cloak.)
(a bumble bee whizzes past
his bare butt.)
"Lord, I kinda had wanted
to talk to You, about that."

"What is it, My child."

"Well.......lately, I was kinda
wondering if You might wanna,
Ya know, like.....GIVE the
job.....to....Ya know, SOMEBODY
else."
(more wriggling out of clothes.)
(nosy neighbor lady, down the
road, starts to scream.)

"Of course not, Isaiah!
I wouldn't even CONSIDER
it. You are My Prophet,
and that's it."

(more screaming, and laughter
can be heard, by now.)
(Curdsey, off in her pasture,
can hear all the commotion,
and starts to moo loudly.
Her calf, 5 month old Whey,
doesn't know what's goin
on, but he moos, also.)

"Hey, LORD?
HOW long do I gotta
STAY this WAY?"
(Another bee, on its
way to a berry flower,
stops still in the air
[in shock],
for a moment, and
then buzzes on.)

"Three years, My Prophet.
Just three years."

(By now, the whole neighborhood
is full of shrieking laughter,
moroseful mooing, and
wily whistles.)
"Is that all, Lord?
Well.....I guess that ain't bad."

[PLEASED NOD.]

"Hey......uh, LORD?"

"Yes, My Isaiah?"

"Eh.......I just got one
QUESTION?"

"Go on, My beloved."

(another squirm.)
(smack an ant off a bare toe.)
(smack a fly off bare butt.)
"What am I gonna say......
Lord..........
when the WIFE gets HOME?"

"Don't worry, My Prophet.
[ALL KNOWING PAUSE.]
You'll think of something."
*************************
Go and loose the sackcloth
off your loins,
and talke off your shoes
from your feet.
And he had done so,
walking naked and barefoot -
The Lord said,
As My servant Isaiah has
walked naked and barefoot
for three years
as a sign.....
[Isaiah 20:2-3]
_________________________
[Author's note: I read
the critique, and changed
the title: 'buttocks
uncovered' is in Scripture.]










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Member Comments
Member Date
Susan Johnstone 20 Feb 2008
Oh, yeah, how many of us are willing to walk bare butt for God!! We often have people laughing at us, for our own stupidity... but for God? Thanks for the challenge.
hannah mcclure 20 Feb 2008
Not sure if "bare butt" is a good thing to put in christian article, but I get your point. We need to watch what we do or God might intend to embarass us.




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