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Lord, did you have nicknames for Israel?
by Julie Michaelson
02/13/08
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When the house of David
was told,
Syria is in league with Ephraim,
his heart and the heart
of his people
shook as the trees
of the forest
shake before the wind.
[Isaiah 7:2]
****************************
"Who's EPHRAIM, Lord?"

[SILENCE.]

"Huh?
Hey, LORD? What SHOULD
I do, about the toilet paper
issue, at work?"

"Wait, child."

"Hm.....You really can't
do that, when you're a
human, Lord. Ya know:
the toilet paper's THERE....
or, it AIN'T!"

"I understand, My precious."

"Uh uh, Lord!
I don't think You DO!"

"Why, child."

"Well.....cuz You're just
a Spirit, Lord. Like we've
discussed before, it's...eh,
DIFFERENT."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Hey, LORD?
Remember that one place
I worked, where they
didn't have any BATHROOMS,
at ALL?"

[CHUCKLE.]

"Yeah.....that was a real HOOT,
wasn't it?"

"Yes, My beloved."

"Remember, inbetween
ESL classes, I had to
run over to the police
station, and stand in
line, to use the POTTY?"

"Yes, My precious."

"Well.....it was either that,
or just fast - and pray -
all day."

[NOD.]
"Which won out, child."

"Eh.....I think it was a little bit
a both, Lord. Plus, the fact
that I didn't work there,
for very long."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"So anyhow, Lord:
who IS this Ephraim guy?
You keep mentioning him,
a lot, in Scripture! What
is it, like a NICKNAME
for Israel, or somethin?"

"Somethin, child."

"Okay. Okay!
I'll just ask my teacher,
when I get to class, tonight.
OKAY?"

"Good, child."

(thoughtful silence)
"Hey, LORD?"

"Yes, little one?"

"Happy Valentines Day!"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
*****************************
The Lord will bring upon you
and upon your people
and upon your father's house
such days as have not come
since the day that Ephraim
departed from Judah -
the king of Assyria.
[Isaiah 7:17]

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