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Fifty years of failure, Lord
by Julie Michaelson
02/11/08
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[Author's note:
You youngsters don't have a
clue; so, don't read this.]
________________________________
My days are past;
my plans are broken off,
the desires of my heart.
[Job 17:11]
****************************
"Why, Lord?"

[SILENCE.]

"Why?
How COME?"

"What did I ever
DO to YOU?"

"What is this, child?"

"Huh?
Eh.......just some
Jewish GUILT, Lord!"

[NOD.]
"Ah.
I see."

(smile!)
"Didn't WORK, huh?"

[SMILE.]

"That's just it, Lord!
NOTHING I DO,
ever WORKS!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Aw! Come ON, Lord!
You gotta ADMIT!
Anybody who's ever
KNOWN me,
would AGREE!"

[MORE PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Even the little
FIRE ANTS, around
my neighborhood,
would agree, LORD!"

[CHUCKLE.]

"Speaking of which,
pretty soon it's gonna
be that time 'a year:
at least, in ole'
San Antonio."

"Yes, child."

"You never DID answer
my question, Lord:
why DID You make them?"

"Because, child."

"Yeah, I guess.
So......why d'You
make ME?"

[AGGRAVATING SILENCE.]

"What's a MATTER?
I think that's a FAIR
question!"

[SILENCE.]

"Hey, I'm over FIFTY, now!
I think I have a right to KNOW!"

"Why, child?"

"Why?
WHY?
CUZ!
THAT'S why!"

[MORE FRUSTRATING SILENCE.]

"I know why, Lord!
'Cuz, the world's
gotta have some
schlamegels around,
HUH?"

[SMILE.]
"What is that, My precious."

"Eh......it's just a Yiddish
word, I sorta made up."

[LAUGH!]

"Well?
How come, when I
look back, all I see
are a buncha FAILURES?"

[SILENCE.]

"I mean, Lord;
is there ANY department
a' life, that I haven't
made a comlete
jackass a' myself?"

"Don't cuss, child!"

"That's not CUSSING, Lord!
Have You watched TV, lately?"

"OY VEY."

"I totally agree, Lord.
But, I can't be responsible
for THAT. I mean,
Ya gotta draw the line,
SOMEWHERE."

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"Yeah.
SO?
You know, we haven't
FINISHED with this
CONVERSATION!"

"Look, child."

"WHERE?
All I see is:
FAILURE!
DISAPPOINTMENT!
LETDOWNS!"

[NOD.]
"What else do you see,
My precious?"

"I dunno."
(pout)

"Tell Me."

(another pout)
"Eh.....I DUNNO."

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Look again, My child."

"I DUNNO!
I guess..............
YOU?"

[NOD.]
***************************
Where were you,
when I laid
the foundation
of the earth?
[Job 38:4]





If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Susan Johnstone 11 Feb 2008
This is the whole essence of Christianity, isn't it - we are all failures (in some form or another). Life gets us down, friends fail us, society honours those who are 'achievers' but only God knows our heart, and miraculously He loves us just the same! Thanks, this brought tears to my eyes. The ending is the great punchline.




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