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A Love Letter To My Beloved
by Anita Thomas
09/17/03
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Dear Beloved,

I'm so sorry, we had a misunderstanding. Are there any words that will make you understand how I feel? How can I tell you, if you keep pulling away? Maybe you donít mean to but thatís the way it feels to me. This doesn't not make me happy. I want to be closer and as you know, itís hard enough as it is. We need to make it better. Why canít we?

Maybe words can never be enough. I can appreciate that. Iím ready to settle for something better. How about you? If I've hurt you, I'm sorry. God brought us together. Don't you agree? Please forgive me. I do love you and I always will.

I wish I could reach out and touch you. In my Soul, you are here with me always but you need that physical touch and maybe I need it too but those moments will come. I am sure of it. These are indeed bitter sweet memories. Iíve experienced far too many of them and so have you. But it is better to feel the sorrow of love sometimes, than not to feel love at all. Donít you agree that it would be a terrible life if we never felt the tender caresses of love again, no matter how illusionary it may seem to us right now?

We were so in love once. We canít keep that moment forever but we can try and get it back as often as we can. Half the glory of being in love is wanting to experience it, all the time. That must be a personal and intense desire. No one else can feel it for us.

Even when we're together,we will have some moments of pain. Every relationship has those but I know our love is strong enough to see us through anything. If we can both realize that and be determined to stay together,we will have most of the problems solved. Itís when weíre not together in heart, soul and spirit, that we really have problems and then they begin to build up. If we were smart weíd stop stop and think right then but we never seem to do that.

Please write to me. If these letters to each other serve any purpose, then itís to be able to express these things to each other without any shame or embarrassment. How can I know if youíre going to reject me or not? Love never assures us of this and Iím afraid to take the chance of losing you. Is that how you feel sometimes? How does anybody stay together? Sometimes I really wonder about this.

Iím only reminding you here, of how I feel. I donít expect you to think like me and you canít expect me to think like you. We may look at love a little differently. Itís not that easy to let go and let yourself feel too intensely. With the right desires though and with enough encouragement from each other, we can do it. I feel afraidÖjust as you do.

Do you really have any faith in me? Do you measure it by your faith in yourself? We may both feel uncertain but we must have faith in love itself. What else can feel so good? Not muchÖ

Love can hurt us if we allow negativity to sink into our relationship. I'm sorry. Iíve already said that but love is worth the pain. If we truly love each other, we can make it with the help of God, of course. Without Him, there is no purpose in anything.

We have always done things together. I believe God will answer our prayers. So I will throw myself on His mercy, because I love you so much. Please let me back in your heart, so we can be together again.

Written by Anita Thomas

Copyright 2004


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