At 2AM I got up; made a cup of tea; and after a few sips I reclined on the den couch trying to get back to sleep. My restless mind raced from subject to subject. Finally, I sat up and prayed for clarity, and the Holy Spirit rescued me once again. God knows my most intimate details and wants me to be free of all impurity. Had I always listened to his voice, this analysis would be unnecessary.
Like many, I was true to Godís design until seventeen, when ego and independence assumed control over mind and body. My habitual misbehaviors and refusal to face and learn from the consequences flawed my characteróto this day. I knew better, each transgression required my choice. In typical rebellious 1960/70ís fashion, I put the blame on society, government, war, drugs, rock music, media, and even on an absentee uncaring God. I now realize that I was sabotaging Godís plan for my life. Life is a gift, created and designed by God and Iíve spent most of my adult life in denial of that reality.
Peace is not just an anti-war slogan from the 1960ís, itís what Iíll find when I completely surrender my life to Jesus. I am eternally grateful that God sent Jesus to save me from my sins, to give me his peace, and to lovingly lift me back up to my place in his great adventure.
In Rick Warrenís 'What on Earth am I Here For', he writes: ďGod allows us to feel a significant amount of discontent and dissatisfaction in life Ė longings that will never be fulfilled on this side of eternity. Weíre not completely happy because weíre not supposed to be. Itís not our final home, we were created for something much more wonderful.Ē