Here I am sitting in the classroom
What will relieve me of my boredom
What will relieve me from this strife
Of this overcoming sickness that tends
To envelope me as I sit here…thinking..
About my future life and strains of the day.
It comes oh so suddenly
As if in a wind.
It takes me captive in its strangling hold
I struggle, I try to get free from this mysterious…
I pick up my pencil. I start writing.
My words come like lyrics to a song
Flowing smoothly like milk and honey.
The words blend together in a rhyme.
It goes on and on
The words keep coming, keep spilling over
Line upon line.
And then…. When I cannot write anymore
I sit here… bored at my desk.
Wondering when the day will be over
Longing to lay in my bed, catch up on some rest
Longing to get a hug from my mom
At the end of a long day
Do what the others detest
I study hard, I say my prayers
I read my Bible, page by page
Waiting to hear what He has to say.
Then an ever calming softness
Sinks into my soul
Carving away at the rough edges that
Come so close to my heart
Threatening to cut it in two.
I wait for coming light.
Of when I will get my own car, my own job
It all seems like a dream
Unreal, but yet coming alive in my daydreams
What is it that I am to do in the future?
What is my destiny?
Then I just sit and think of good and bad memories
All over again
I sigh, pick up my Bible, and try to forget them.
And I do. They are just a wisp of thin thought. Air.
Then I think of other things; food, family, friends.
Who I want to become like, who I’m having problems with.
Who overwhelms me with feelings of negativity.
Than I know I must release these thoughts
For if they are kept in my heart, it would soon fill
With anger and resentment towards the people
Who are only human.
I breathe deeply, I pray to the Lord for help
He hears me and answers my cry. I am calm now,
Each person is coughing, I have no idea why.
I guess trying to get attention
When all they get is a smirk and a fake smile.
It is all part of a game.
Cliques gather around and share fake giggles
Looking to see if anyone’s looking at them
So that they may be able to gossip about them too
The students have gone against the rules in the Bible,
To treat the elders with respect.
They call the teachers names, threaten to hurt them
Falsely accusing them
The principal is called in more than once
I know that many of them have problems.
I watch in awe, as I wonder what would it
Be like if I did that too?
To feel the glee of hurting another person
To be popular, giggy, homey, or whatever
I just lead back, sigh, and smile
I may not know what my future holds
But I’m just glad I’m the way that I am.
The one who loves and the one who thinks.
Oh Hannah, how this article blessed me. You, a typical teenager, yet not a typical teenager, view the world as a typical teenager, but you overcome the world, through Christ. It must be so hard to be a teenager these days. I really feel for you, having to struggle with the worldly things that go on around you, day after day. May God continually give you grace to smile, as you do, and to pray silently for those who abuse you and disrespect their elders, and laugh at those who want higher, heavenly things, like you do. May God bless you. God has given you a great talent for writing. You wrote in such a spell-bounding manner. I am in my 70's and I would not want to be a teenager again, but I lived the moments with you as I read your writing. My prayers are with you. I have no children born to me, and so no grand or great grand children, but if I did, I would like one like you. .. Thanks for commenting on my poem....Helen