For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and be joined unto his wife, and the two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak of the church. Ephesians 5:30-32.
My sin was exposed by Godís word and I became more miserable, Godís chastening also seemed to be more intensified. The LORD hath chastened me sore: but he hath not given me over unto death Psalms 118:18
Because my husband had practically handed over the control of almost everything to me I felt I was being obedient to him by doing exactly what he wanted; but I learned this was dishonoring God; I had perverted Godís chain of command by not upholding the role of my husband as being the head in the marriage.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband as unto the Lord. For the husband is head of wife. Ephesians 5:22-23
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ God. The husband being the head of the household has nothing to do with who does the dishes or the cleaning at home, this is about honor and respect. The wife must not show disrespect in any form to her husband, we do this unknowingly sometimes when we offer advice or teach them, when we criticize, contradict, distrust or try to control them. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor usurp authority over the man, but to learn in silence. For Adam was first formed then Eve. One way in which a wife may try to control her husband is by withholding our body from him.
We do this when we feel resentment or anger towards him for something he may have done, or if we feel unappreciated or unloved. No matter how we feel God commands us not to defraud each other. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath no power of her own body but the husband. Defraud ye not one the other, except with consent for a time, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. A part of this coming together is physical intimacy, and it is a vital component to the pursuit of peace and harmony in a marriage, it signifies our oneness despite the problems we may have, it expresses also our submission to each other. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:21. A wife trying to control every circumstance shows a lack of faith in GOD and her husband. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.
Intimacy, contentment and peace were restored to my marriage, by Godís grace and mercy, when I started practicing Godís principles for marriage and being content in the place where God had placed me, under my husband. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. But godliness with contentment is great gain. These changes can happen for your marriage when you get the wisdom and understanding from God about how it should work. You can experience the happiness and joy of an intimate, peaceful marriage. Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that get understanding. Wisdom is your getting. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. May the Lord give you the desire to love and surrender to your husband. Only God can cause you to do so. That he may incline our hearts unto him, to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments.