Dear Lord Jesus, I simply didn't have the time
by Lisa Walker Thomas
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Dear Lord Jesus,
You know all truth. Canít hide anything from you. Never could. I started to write a poem, I waited but the words won't come. I wanted to write something majestic that would be a gift to you, but the words simply would not come. So I figured I would just talk to you.
Just you and me. I can say itís been a long time, but thatís not exactly true, itís been a long time since Iíve taken time out for just me and you. Our special time, where I sing to you, when I dance for you, when I pray over my brothers and sisters and we (You and I) simply talk. You know what happened.
I ran out and got me a life! Yep, sure did, got a promotion, got married, and hurried up and got a calendar where I was just too busy! I didnít have time to help out with the Youth Department, and I was way too busy with family when it came to my commitments at church, I had to be here, and I had to be there, and I simply didnít have time. Pray? When can I fit it in?
You see, I have a husband now and responsibilities, and my job, with the new promotion and it's all so demanding, so very demanding. You know I have in-laws, and new aunts, and uncles, cousins, and my friends, oh my friends (our friends) letís see there are the Smiths, the Robinsonís, the Davidsonís, the Frazierís, the James, the Barron's, the Taylor's and so on, and so fourth, because theyíre married too.
So, I simply had no timeÖ..For You. At least not the kind of time I use to take for you, the time I use to set aside just for you. Everything else was secondary, becasue You were always first. Were??? (How strange that sounds)I don't like that word. Were???
But, I remember you, and I have memories.
Thank God I have memories. You know what I remember? I remember waking up at 5:00AM just to talk to you, to pray over the children, the sickness, the bloodshed, the disease; I remember waking up just to talk to you about my worries, my fears, to pray over my words, my actions, my thoughts, to thank you, and most of all to Praise You. Do you remember that? (I know you do)
I remember dancing for you, just me and you and dancing with exhilaration simply because of who you are! And because I, (little ole me) was priviledged enough to know You! I remember sharing you, sharing you with strangers, and relatives, family and friends, young and old, and seeing a thirst come from them. Oh the thirst!
As I sit and remember those times, I have to say those were the best times. Times when I didnít have a husband, when I was lonely and afraid, didnít have all those married friends, just a few girlfriends along the way, didnít have the promotion on my job and still was able to have my needs met, yeah I didnít have quite a few things, but what I have now can't measure up to what I did have; what I had with you.
I had a desire to talk to you, walk with you, dance before you, and to praise your name! And as I write this, I realize I still do. It is the Holy Spirit that quickens me, that holds a mirror up so that I can see the distortion my reflection has taken on. I donít like it.
So, what can I do? The Holy Spirit gave me the answer to that one too, He gave me two words that will take away all of this. and I close my eyes and thank you with the abundance of my heart, there's just one thing I need to do that can help alleviate all of the time I spent away from you are, and it's just two simple words:
Seek Him early where He can be found. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.
One more thing I realize in all this time, that I didnít have time for you Lord Jesus, I realize that You, never once left me. While I was busy with work, you sheltered me from any danger, any appearance of blame, fault or inadequacy. While I was with all of my friends, you created a loving circle of protection and kindness free to talk about the Lord and not be embarrassed or ashamed. While I was too busy with my new family you continually blessed me to be around people who loved and encouraged me, lifted my spirits, and my mind, helped me, protected me, and loved me.
So while I didnít have time for you, YOU made time with me, for whether on my job, with my friends, or family there You were, at all times in all places, right there in the midst of it all!
I am because of you, I breathe because of you. Dear Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, please forgive me for all of my sins, wash me in your blood right now, for I believed that you died, that you were buried and on the third day, God the Father raised you from the dead, and right now Lord Jesus, I open the door to my heart, and I receive you into my heart, as my Lord and My Savior, in Jesus name. Amen.
Greater is that is in you, than He that is in the world.
I will seek you early where you can be found. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God. I love you with all of my heart.
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