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The Terrible Twos of the Baby Christian
by Julie Michaelson
12/03/07
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Jesus answered.....
Truly, truly,
I say to you,
unless one is born anew,
he cannot see the kingdom of God.
[John 3:3]
*******************************
"You still talkin' to me, Lord?"

"Yes, child."

"I mean, I wouldn't blame 'Ya,
if Ya weren't....."

"No, My child.
I am here."

"Yeah, okay.
I guess we shouldn't go into
that 'door' thing again, huh?"

"WHICH door, My precious?"

"Well, why don't we just close
ALL them, for right now?
What d'Ya think;
Is it a DEAL?"

"I don't make deals with you,
child."

"Eh, okay. I can handle that.
What can I say?
(humorous smile up
at the air conditioning vent)
Maybe, I'm just
not that mature a Christian
yet, to get into this DOOR
business with You, Lord!"

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"What ARE you, My child?"

"Eh.......an over-the-hill Jewess,
and, perhaps, a crying, colically
Christian of an INFANT?"

[SMILE.]
"Have you checked your spelling,
My child?"

"Huh? Eh, forget about it;
I ain't gettin' paid for this stuff."

[FROWNING SILENCE.]

"You wouldn't understand, Lord;
I mean, bein' a Spirit, and all.
It's a .......HUMAN thing.
Don't worry about it."

[NOD.]
"Ah. I see."

"Anyhow, getting back to
this whole bit about being
a baby Christian....."

"I thought we were
discussing DOORS?"

"Heh? Uh, uh. We're
way past that, Lord."

"I see."

"Yeah, let's just leave
all my doors closed, for
awhile, Lord."

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Yes, child."

".....Until, I'm past the
Terrible Twos of Christian
babyhood."

[KNOWING NOD.]
"I see, My precious."

"'Ya know what that is, Lord: the
stage of still gettin' to
know You, but... being a little
squeamish about lettin'
'Ya into all my ROOMS....?"

"Yes, child.
I understand.
[SILENCE.]
But, I have one question,
My child."

"Uh, oh."

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Hm, hm.
Yes, My child:
When will you have
enough faith?"

"For what, Lord?"

"To hand Me the keys?"
******************************
The wind blows where it wills,
and you hear the sound of it,
but you do not know whence
it comes or
whither it goes;
so it is with everyone
who is born
of the Spirit.
[John 3:8]
________________________
To my good friend, Irene.








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