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Beautiful You, Beautiful Me
by Joyce Poet
12/01/07
Not For Sale
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Beautiful You, Beautiful Me



It wasn't always words. Genesis 37:4-6
It was,
more often,
circumstances. John 15:20
But those circumstances
spoke. Genesis 37:18-24
And they spoke
louder
than words
to a youthful,
easily influenced
and vulnerable
little girl. Luke 11:49

"It's not okay.
That's not okay.
And that's not okay.
You're not okay." Genesis 37:29-36
So I put me
away
to be perfect, Hebrews 7:11-28
perfect at everything

and nothing at all. Romans 3:20-25

And when my
big girl room
was adorned
with a multitude
of medals
and ribbons
and trophies
and everything was
perfectly
imperfect,
all that was me
was still
not okay, Luke 14:26

it still was not okay
to be me,
not even in my perfectly
perfect
imperfection.

So I hid me
in a cave, 1 Kings 19
a Cavewoman cave,
so I could breathe
without breathing
under lock and key,
exist without living
through another day
after another day.
And it was still
not okay.

It never was
and was never
intended
for me to be okay. Genesis 39:19-23
Meant for a cage,
or so it seemed,

I broke. Psalms 31:12

And even in my
brokenness,
it was still not okay.
I
was still not okay.
And they reached their hands
into my cage
to taunt,
to break,
to break,
to break me further, Psalms 38:8
telling me all the while,
"Everything is okay.
Everything but you.
You've never been.
You'll never be.

You don't exist,
except in that cage ...
a portrait on the wall
that needs nothing,
nothing more than an occasional
straightening.

Straighten." Psalms 69:20

What do you think
of me,
sitting here
with tears
on my face?
Think those
are joyful tears?
They are ... Genesis 39:1-6

to some degree.
They are pain,
a longing for
unknown
moments
and might-have-beens. Jeremiah 14:17
They are joy,
overwhelming joy
for the moment
of freedom
that is now. Psalms 147:3
They are fear.
Is it okay?
Is this beauty
I feel in discovering
a resurrected
and beautiful me
okay? Genesis 41:14-16

I see a little girl,
snaggle-toothed,
with those angel kisses
across the bridge of her nose,
a sparkle in her emerald eyes,
and wise beyond her age.
And she smiles at me.
"Good morning, Beautiful.
I've missed you so much." Genesis 46:28-30
I've missed her too.
But she's gone now.
And a woman takes her place. Psalms 51:17-18

I don't know where
I'm going.
And I know I'm supposed to
live in this wide opened
and glorious place,
breathing the fresh,
clean air,
drinking the clear waters
of mountain springs,
and bathing here
in the warm sunshine. John 6:39-45
But I don't know how.
And I'm afraid.

Whisper a love song
in my ear,
not with words,
but circumstance,
and chance,
and maybe even fate,
a love song sweet
and meant for my ears, Proverbs 25:20
one that simply
states,
"It's more than okay.
It's more than okay.
You're beautiful
just being you.
And you're okay." Zephaniah 3:17

Yes,
I do.
I do
need Beautiful You.
Don't leave me here
in this open space.
Stay here with me. Ephesians 5:31
Walk me through.
Teach me how to live
again. Isaiah 61
Don't resurrect me
only to learn
how to spread my wings
on my own. Mark 10:28-50

I look at the picture
hanging on my wall,
a gift from my children
several birthdays ago.
Hundreds of small pictures,
nature in its many seasons,
many stages,
all fit together
into one ...
a wolf Isaiah 65:23-25
whose eyes are filled
with knowledge
and awe
and wonder ... Genesis 46:2-7
who I should have been,
could still be,
had I been free,
free to be me.

What would she do,
if caged for her lifetime,
and she were set free
to roam the hills
and bask in the sun,
only to be left alone there,
learning in her old age
to be what, and who,
she was born to be? Luke 13:11-17
She'd creep slowly,
cautiously back
into that cage,
not a happy place,
but a familiar one. Luke 13:31-35

I don't know how to survive
being me.
As much as I love
this wide open space,
I'm not accustomed
to living in it. Luke 13:6-10
I need Beautiful You
so I can be,
just be,
and find out,
finally,
if it's okay after all
just to be
beautiful me. Luke 13:30

My brokenness
is not very pretty.
And maybe,
maybe I'm not
what you need.
Maybe you'd rather walk
in the cool,
shaded forests
or feel the sun
warm you tenderly
with one less broken
than me. Matthew 21:42-44

See those tears,
those tears of fear?

Wipe them away
with a kiss,
a tender and honest
kiss
that speaks louder
than words,
"Ah, Beautiful,
YOU are more
than just
okay.
I need
Beautiful You." Matthew 19:5

Beautiful You,
I want to be
beautiful me. Matthew 19:29
And I need it
to be okay. Matthew 10:30-40
© ~Treava

Isaiah 65:17-25 For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.  But be ye glad and rejoice for ever in that which I create: for, behold, I create Jerusalem a rejoicing, and her people a joy.  And I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and joy in my people: and the voice of weeping shall be no more heard in her, nor the voice of crying.  There shall be no more thence an infant of days, nor an old man that hath not filled his days: for the child shall die an hundred years old; but the sinner being an hundred years old shall be accursed.  And they shall build houses, and inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them.  They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of my people, and mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.  They shall not labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the LORD, and their offspring with them.  And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.  The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bullock: and dust shall be the serpent's meat. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, saith the LORD.

Jeremiah 32:38-44 And they shall be my people, and I will be their God:  And I will give them one heart, and one way, that they may fear me for ever, for the good of them, and of their children after them:  And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; but I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me.  Yea, I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will plant them in this land assuredly with my whole heart and with my whole soul.  For thus saith the LORD; Like as I have brought all this great evil upon this people, so will I bring upon them all the good that I have promised them.  And fields shall be bought in this land, whereof ye say, It is desolate without man or beast; it is given into the hand of the Chaldeans.  Men shall buy fields for money, and subscribe evidences, and seal them, and take witnesses in the land of Benjamin, and in the places about Jerusalem, and in the cities of Judah, and in the cities of the mountains, and in the cities of the valley, and in the cities of the south: for I will cause their captivity to return, saith the LORD.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Danette Kettwich 05 Dec 2007
She'd creep slowly, cautiously back into that cage, not a happy place, but a familiar one. These words really sunk in for me. So often we go back to situations that are not happy or good but they are what we are used to so we go back again ... into our cage. I don't think I have ever read anything so deep and emotions so strong. Love Danette
Helen Dowd  04 Dec 2007
Treava, as I read this, I felt like I was being tossed on a tumultuous sea, sometimes drowning, sometimes rising to the top. I felt like I wanted to reach out and touch the sky, but couldn't. I am not sure if that is the picture you were trying to paint, but that is how I felt...You are a deep, deep writer, so I know you are a deep, deep thinker. I admire you for baring your soul. Isn't that what poetry is all about?...Helen
Peggy Yengling 03 Dec 2007
Oh, Treava...You put your emotions into words and set them free - what a talent and gift you have! You write from your heart and you aren't afraid to let your feelings flow! You allow yourself to be vulnerable before us and it touches us greatly, to be permitted a glimpse inside your very soul. Discovering the person God meant us to be is a process and can be very frightening, but if we let go of our fears and allow the real person to come forward...we will unveil the soul God designed for us and see the masterpiece before our eyes! Keep sharing your soul - it is exquisite! With love, Peggy
Thomas Kittrell 03 Dec 2007
Treava, I really do not know how to express my reaction to this, so I will simply put it this way:
You have a great talent for writing to reveal the inner you. I am amazed at how God has given you this talent to reach way down inside you and reveal such beautiful, poetric words which convey how you feel. It is like you are painting a word picture for us to gaze at and see the wonderful soul and spirit whose author it is.

Thomas

Mitzi Busby 03 Dec 2007
Treava, You express so beautifully what so many of us feel. You reach to the depths of emotions. Wow.
Sharon McClean 02 Dec 2007
Oh Joyce, I believe that we all need beautiful you, so we can be beautiful me. What a great article, thank you so much for shining your light once again. I love you, Sharon




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