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Seeking Santa Claus
by Julie Michaelson
11/24/07
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In the beginning
God created the heavens
and the earth.
[Genesis 1:1]
********************************
"Lord, are You SANTA Claus?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"I'm not being FUNNY, Lord!
I just want'a KNOW!"

[MORE PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Aw, come on, Lord!
You know who Santa is!"

"Tell Me, child."

"Well, when I was a kid,
I wasn't supposed to believe
in that stuff - being Jewish, and all."

"What stuff, My precious."

"You know: Christmas.."

"Ah, yes."

"Hannukah's OKAY, but
when I was a kid, I always wanted
to celebrate CHRISTMAS.
There's definitely more CANDY
involved."

[NOD.]
"What's this about, child."

"Huh? I don't know, Lord.
It's just gettin' toward that
time of year."

"Which time, child."

"Well, that's a good question, Lord.
It's kind'a a 'faux pas'
to say 'Merry Christmas' now, Lord.
21st century people are
supposed ta' say 'Happy Holidays'."

"Why, child."

"You wouldn't understand, Lord.
It's got to do with political
correctness. Don't worry about it;
I'll explain it to You, later."

"Explain it to Me, now."

(sigh)
"Oy! Alright, Lord, but
it's kind'a long, and TEDIOUS!"

"I'm HERE."

"Well, where do I START?"

"At the beginning, child."

"Eh, I'm not really qualified
for this, Lord.
Maybe, You should ask one of
the REGULAR Christians."

"What are YOU, child?"

"I'm a, eh.......You know,
one'a those......uh,
WHAT are they
called, Lord?"

"What, child?"

"........A partially-completed JEW?"

[LAUGH.]

"Yeah, Lord;
I love Jesus, I have NO idea
what the Holy Spirit is, and.....
my first love will always be
the kosher dill."

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"Well, and of course,
cream cheese, lox, and
baby dills on an
almost-burnt-toasted bagel."

"Yes, My beloved."

"So, Lord: ARE You
Santa Claus, or WHAT?"

"No, child."

"I agree, Lord.
Most people expect
You to stuff their bags
with toys, and only
end up with a lot'a
soot 'n ashes
in their stockings."

"Like you, My child?"

"Well, now that 'Ya
mention it, Lord....."

[NOD.]

"Not that I'm COMPLAINING,
Lord! I'd never DO that!
Not ME!"

[LAUGH.]

"So......., You're not Santa Claus."

"No, My child."

"Well, nobody's perfect."

"WHO are you TALKING to, child?"

"Well, I THOUGHT I was talkin'
to SANTA Claus!"

"You're definitely NOT."

(oops!)
(oy!)
"I was just jokin', Lord!
You know ME!"

[NOD.]
"All too well, My child."

"Oops!
No, Lord! You ARE perfect!
ALWAYS!
ALL the TIME!"

[SMILE.]
"Say your prayers tonight, child."

"You bet, Lord!
Here goes....!"

[SILENCE.]

"Lord? Could You
leave me a big jar'a
kosher dills on
my kitchen table,
tonight?"

"NO."

"Aw, come on!
Get one'a Your
ANGELS to do it!
They're not DOIN'
nothin'!"

"Child, you have yet
to learn Who I Am."

"WHO?"

"The Holy Spirit."
*******************************
In the beginning
was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning
with God;
all things were made
through Him.......
In Him was life.......
[John 1:1-4]




If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Holly Jensen 16 Feb 2008
I love this. It really makes you think. I'm going to read this some time and really ponder it. God bless.
Tim Pickl 05 Jan 2008
This is a wonderful, timely piece -- it could be a skit, or the beginning of a play! Thank you for sharing it with us! God bless you.




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