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Where's MY pecan tree, Lord?
by Julie Michaelson
11/19/07
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You shall not covet
your neighbor's house.
[Exodus 20:17]
*************************
"Lord!"

"What is it, child."

"How come You haven't given
ME a pecan tree?"

"What's this about, child."

"YOU KNOW!
I just read an article about this
guy who's got this GREAT pecan tree....!"

[NOD.]

"Yeah, and it's got all these
PECANS."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"WELL? How come You haven't
ME any shekel-making PECAN trees?
HUH?"

"What IS a pecan, child?"

"Huh? Eh.....well, I think it's a NUT,
isn't it?"

[NOD.]
"Yes, My beloved.
And, what does it do?"

"Do......? I DON'T know.
It drops off a tree, and then,
it ends up in a batch of cookies."

[NOD.]
"Haven't I GIVEN you a tree,
My precious?"

"What: that DINKY thing out'in the
backyard? It's....."

"And have you cared for it, My beloved?"

"Eh......no. I thought that was YOUR
department, Lord."

"I see."

"Well, You know I don't like bein' OUTSIDE,
Lord. There's, like, BUGS and stuff."

[NOD.]

"A friend told me I should
go outside, and stick a broom in the
ground so that the tree won't....."

"Have you done it, child?"

"Well, NO.........I can't do that stuff!
Suppose, I stepped in a mound of
fire ants? What then?"

[NOD.]

".....and she told me I gotta', like,
get some ROPE, and tie it around the
stick......."

"Have you done it, My child?"

"Heck, no! I'd probably end up
gettin' tangled in the rope, and
fallin' over the broomstick. And,
God only knows what's in that
dirt! Suppose, there was a WORM?"

"These things happen, child."

"ECH! I can't even stand to LOOK
at a worm! How do people FISH,
anyhow?"

"It is a mystery, My precious."

"So.......I guess this pecan tree idea
is kinda' stupid: for me?"

[NOD.]

"Hey, Lord?"

"What is it, child."

"Are You gonna' tell Your birds
to stop poopin' on my front step?"

[SMILE.]

"They've even gotten on my garage
door, and driveway. It's a MESS!"

"This is My Creation, child."

"Yeah. Well, couldn't You scoot'em
over to somebody else's roof?"

"No. Try some soap and water."

"I don't like bein' outside, Lord."

"I know, My precious."

"Hey, Lord, I decided to keep
reading that Left Over book.....
or, whatever it's called."

[NOD.]

"You wouldn't leave ME behind,
would'ja, Lord?"

"We'll see, child.
We'll see."
*********************************
You shall eat in plenty
and be satisfied,
and praise the name
of the Lord your God,
Who has dealt wondrously
with you.
[Joel 2:26]



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Member Comments
Member Date
Irvin Rozier 19 Nov 2007
Well, that was great...made me smile. Have a blessed day, and maybe soon you will have your own pecan tree!




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