Anger occurs when things don't go according to our expectations, for instance, when we expect people to be polite, and they are rude . Anger can also be a result of perceived loss of control over something that is important to us.
Our anger is sometimes justified, because of other people's poor behaviour. However uncontrolled anger weakens us, and makes us lose focus on what is important. It is in our best interest to manage our anger. Anger itself is not a sin, but it can lead to a sin. Uncontrolled anger makes people lose the plot: Ephesians 4:26-27 - "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil"
Our thoughts and the conversation we have with ourselves, can either reduce or increase our anger. When we speak positive things to our anger, it quenches it. For example, saying to ourselves, I'm bigger than that. I'm going to speak a word of wisdom to this person, instead of responding in anger. I won't let this person drag me down: Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."
9 Important Points Anger:
Uncontrolled anger makes it hard for us to walk in love. This is the key to our efficiency: 1 Corinthians 13:2 - "And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing."
It is possible to channel our anger to positive things. For example, praying more when being treated unfairly. Or doing more training when being overlooked for job promotion.
Anger distorts our views; it becomes hard to make good decisions when angry.
There are many types of anger. Types of anger includes: Rage (outburst of wrath), Frustrated, Resentment, sadness and irritability,
Maintaining an angry state of mind, over some time can lead to health problems, which includes: Stress, Depression and heart disease: Psalm 37:8 "Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fretit only causes harm."
Anger can damage relationships. It is hard to be around angry people. It can also jeopardise our work relationships and connecting with God. We won't feel like worshipping when we are angry.
Anger is not productive; it can leads to violence and bad behaviour: Proverbs 29:22a "An angry man stirs up strife,"
Anger can steal our joy and weakens us. Anger can steal our self control and focus. Anger leads to bitterness and negative confessions: Ephesians 4:31 - "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice."
Anger when controlled, is not always a negative thing. It can motivate us to prove our enemies wrong.
Ways To Deal With Anger
We must identify the types of thought patterns that trigger our anger, and write them down. Next to each item, we should write down better ways we could deal with the situation.
Anger also makes us obsess about people that have hurt us. The incident will keep on repeating in our heads until we forgive them. Forgiveness is the key. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation, but letting go of the offence or moving on.
We must be determined, and set our intentions not to let anyone make us mad. It is not worth it. We can make this our goal, and write down an action plan of how we are going to stop people dragging us into a quarrel: Proverbs 20:3b "Since any fool can start a quarrel."
We must mentally prepare ourselves for this goal, so that shock doesn't throw us back into anger. For example; "When next she says a rude remark, I would just let her know how rude she has been, without losing my cool.
We must watch out for wrong assumptions. Sometimes anger stem from the conclusions we tell ourselves, and not necessarily the truth. Since we don't really know the person's motivation; we are just assuming.
Henrietta Elegunde is an Author, Life Coach, ordained minister and Motivational Speaker. She specializes in teaching how to cultivate spiritual, mental, physical and emotional growth, in order to achieve total wellbeing
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