THE DAILY GRIND New Number Discovered 'Fekk'
New Number Discovered ~ "Fekk"
Leading Scientist, Mathematicians, Archeologists and Numerologists have "discovered" a new number, which has up until this time has remained in obscurity of antiquity until this present day, when it was announced at the Foundation for Integer Studies in Hiram, California.
"In the same way that the number "zero" was lost and "rediscovered" after the Dark Ages," announced Dr. James McMahon PhD. , chairman of the Foundation, "the ancient number, "Fekk" as it was known in ancient Sumeria and Egypt, has been uncovered in a clay tablet in the vault dig in what was once ancient Mesopotamia, in the ziggurat city known as Ur. This is quite an astonishing find in the world of numbers."
Dr. McMahon went on to describe that many of the listings within the royal accountants documents contained inventories of gold and other precious commodities, but the surprise to interpreters and linguists attempting to decode the text was a consistent reference to a number, described as "Fekk" which defied a contemporary equivalent.
Further investigation to the baffled experts revealed that the number in question was of ancient origin, and has since been lost in our current numeration systems. "Fekk" is said to originally held its place in the base number system between our modern four and five. Given this discovery, mathematicians have been scrambling to "rethink" our current numeration models, acknowledging that the origins of our base counting system began with eleven numbers, and not the current base ten system in use today.
"The discovery of "Fekk" changes everything," remarked leading mathematician Mark Weinbender of the Center for Enigmatic Math. "Now that we understand our number system from a "Base Eleven" principle, this will impact our lives on a most fundamental basis, from counting change to world banks to calendars to sports statistics. It will take years to reprogram all the computers to include "Fekk" into our counting systems."
Already there is strong resistance to incorporating "Fekk" into global numbering systems. Andy Sauerstein of the Preserve Base Ten Society describes the dilemma. "It's not just a matter of sticking "fekk" in between four and five in the cardinal numbers, but all the other number sets have to be rearranged, as well. And what do we call them? Fekkteen? Twenty-fekk? Not to mention a whole set of tens with the prefix "fekk"; fekky-one, fekky-two, and how absurd would it be to have a number called "fekky-fekk"? We have to draw the line somewhere."
Other objections to global integration of the ancient integer are more politically motivated. "It is not French," insists Jacque Lamaureaux, leader of the "French Numbers for France" Movement. Speaking through an interpreter, Lamaureaux describes his objections and his position emphatically, "It is not French! It is not French! It is NOT French! Faugh on your FEKK!"
Other less adamant objectors to the addition into the French number set take a more romantic approach. Jean Paul Champagne head of the "French Soaring Beauty Clique" describes his objections. "It disrupts le melody of le number set, utterly destroys le rhythm beauteous. Listen: 'Un, Deux, Trois, Quatre, Fekk, Cinq…' Voila. Catastrophique, no? Case le closed, oui?"
Despite objections, the discovery of "Fekk" will lead to world integration of a base eleven number system by 2010 as determined by the World Real Number Alliance which ratified the inclusion of "Fekk" by a super majority vote in both the Upper Numerator and Lower Denominator houses. France has since withdrawn from the Alliance in protest.
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