My first book will be a religious "self-help" book titled HOW TO BE TRULY HUMBLE. It takes great effort and enormous wisdom to achieve true humility. Since I am one of the few people who have actually become truly humble, I feel it is only right that I share this knowledge with the world. This promises to be the best book ever written on the subject. The following is an excerpt:
In order to be truly humble, you must first desire humility. One way you can begin to desire humility is to realize that the humble are better than everyone else. Moses was humble, Pharaoh was not, and look who came out on top. (For you non-fundamentalist Christians, this is a reference to a story in Exodus, which is in the Bible, which is that black book you find in hotel rooms.) As you can see, true humility makes you superior to all of those proud people.
Also on the literary horizon is a book that will appeal to all animal rights activists. The tentative title for this thoughtful work is THE SPIRITUALITY OF ANIMALS. It will take a look at such topics as:
· Do dogs really have more rights than fleas?
· How do I witness to my neighbor's pet?
· Should experimental research be conducted on humans for the sake of animals?
This will be a must read for those who realize that animals should be treated with human dignity.
Many ministries do not survive the first few years of existence because of financial difficulties. My next book describes in detail proven methods for starting, growing, and sustaining a profitable Christian ministry. Its title will be STARTING, GROWING, AND SUSTAINING A PROFITABLE CHRISTIAN MINISTRY. Time tested techniques, such as:
· How to convince the elderly to give beyond their means.
· Using emotional appeals and guilt rather than truth and logic for fundraising.
· Creating the illusion of Godly motives for self serving interests
Also examined in depth are ways to avoid costly taxes while protecting your ministry from embarrassing audits. The following excerpt from chapter 5, "Naming Your Ministry," is an example:
It is important to consider tax ramifications when choosing a name for your ministry. Names like "Christian Apostles Seeking Holiness," or "Churches Appropriating Social Help," or even "Charismatics Against Shallow Hypocrisy," would be best for soliciting contributions. Using the first letter of each word in your ministry's name, you would be able to request that checks be made out to C A S H. This can come in very handy should you ever get audited for unreported income.
Science fans will be excited to hear that I have a book nearing completion which deals with the Evolution-vs.-Creationism debate. Its title will be EVOLUTION-VS-CREATIONISM MADE SIMPLE. I believe the introduction to this book will give its readers a good idea of its overall purpose and content, so I printed it below.
For years, the question has existed whether strict creationism or some form of evolutionary theory should be considered as the correct viewpoint by those who believe in God. Such a complex question needs to be simplified.
Since evolution depends upon some form of genetic alteration to bring about a new species, logic dictates that the origin of a species cannot occur during the life span of a fully developed being. In other words, one species does not become another species suddenly in adult life. A species origin must, therefore, take place at the point of conception, or at least during the earliest stage of development, such as the embryonic stage in many categories. Creationism on the other hand, teaches that every known species was originally created as a fully developed being.
This book will take one known being, the chicken, and use it as a sample for all others. By studying the chicken to determine its origin, the evolution-vs-creationism question is simplified to the mere determination of what came first, the chicken or the egg. That is the goal of this book.
My next book will actually be three books in one. It will be the true story of three separate events in my life. The title says it all: HOW I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS IN A PREVIOUS LIFE AFTER BEING REVIVED FROM DEATH.
New Age enthusiasts should love this one. I don't want to reveal any more than the title suggests since it may spoil the surprise ending.
Finally, there is a theological work on the way. This will be a favorite of those intellectual religious types since it will address many profound theological issues. The title will be MANY PROFOUND THEOLOGICAL ISSUES. The chapters will include:
· Chapter1 - "If I believe I was predestined to be an Arminian, am I a Calvinist?"
· Chapter 6 - "According to Catholics, can Mary throw the first stone?"
· Chapter 13 - "What if the meek don't want the earth?"