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Tears of a Mighty River
by Kevin Jarrell
08/27/03
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The tears flow as a mighty river from the eyes of a tortured soul. Pain and agony consume my will to wage war against the unknown forces which continually beat me down. Every step taken through my chaotic existance sends chills through every nerve of my frail and tattered being.

Through self reflection, memories of happier days fill my heart with warmth. Sweet, sweet memories of the days I walked hand in hand with God through an unwavering faith. Yet as 15 years old became 16, the freedom, discovered within the recently aquired driving permit, shadowed reality with the illusion of adulthood.

Saturday night became the night to spend at a friends house to avoid moms urgings of sunday school and church. All the while the desire and drive, which fed my vibrant spirit, wilted away as a rose, its petals falling hopelessly and helplessly among the thorns of life. No longer were they secure atop the solid foundation which nourished them, bringing out the tenderness and beauty for the world to see.

Now the reality of it all comes forth like deafening thunder as the steel bars slam shut. As the smell of the alcohol on my clothes rises to awaken my mind, bits and pieces of the nights events surface. The images send me cowering into my corner, wishing the walls would consume me. A fate more acceptable than knowing that forever, the visions of my closest friend lying in the crimson pool beside the temptations satan gave so freely in the form of a car, will haunt me through eternity. And now my solomn prayer,"Oh My God, What Have I Done?" A prayer which comes one night too late.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Debby Perry 03 Sep 2003
As powerful as the first version was, I like this one better, and telling the story from the first person POV makes it even more powerful. Good job!
Rosalind Morris 29 Aug 2003
Hi Kevin :) I like this story also. I do think it could be stronger is it was first person, or maybe third person but from a specific teens point of view. Maybe "we" instead of "they"? Still a great "attempt";) at a short story.
Debra L. McKeen Sparks 28 Aug 2003
This is incredibly powerful writing -- I can't wait to read more. Great job!
Violet Nesdoly 28 Aug 2003
Kevin, I think you have the seed of a powerful article here. Something about it bothers me - too generic, maybe? Try changing it into first person (write about 'I,' 'my' instead of 'their'). ~ all the best as you work on this! Violet Nesdoly
kelechi ajoku 28 Aug 2003
beautiful article.keep it up.
Deborah Porter  27 Aug 2003
Powerful story Kevin. With love, Deb




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