Mr. Trumpett – “the boss”—a male child, maybe 8 to 10 yrs. old
Jamie – a female adult
Will – a male adult
Cindy – the secretary – female child
This skit is a take-off of the reality tv show, “The Apprentice.” The boss is interviewing 2 candidates for the “job” of a children’s ministry volunteer. He finds two very different perspectives of why one should volunteer.
(Scene opens with Mr. Trumpett sitting behind a desk or table. Jamie and Will walk in with their rolling “character” suitcases, i.e. Mickey Mouse, Dora, Spongebob, etc. They leave them at the door and take their seats at the table)
Jamie: Good morning, Mr. Trumpett.
Will: Good morning.
Mr. T: Good morning to you both. Thank you for being here today. As you know, you are the final two candidates chosen from a very long list of applicants......so....you want to be a children’s ministry volunteer?
Will: Yes, sir, I do.
Jamie: Absolutely, Mr. Trumpett!
Mr. T: Jamie, let’s start with you: why do you want to give up your precious time for children’s ministry?
Jamie: Well, Mr. Trumpett, there are numerous reasons...
Mr. T: (impatiently) Like?.....
Jamie: (jumps in) Like, first of all, they REALLY need me. They NEVER have enough volunteers. Secondly, I have my children in the classrooms, so I feel like I need to do my part. Third of all, last year I spent three weeks with my toddler on my knee during the service waiting for a class to open, so I may as well spend that time doing something productive.
Mr. T: Well, Jamie, you’ll need to volunteer for more than three weeks if you work for me----try, the whole year.
Jamie: (hesitates and looks over at Will’s confident face) Oh, well...that won’t be a problem. I can do ANYTHING for just a year....one time in Jr. High, this boy told me he would take me to the end of year dance if I would massage his feet during study hall every day until the dance....so I did. Well, I survived that stinky ordeal, so I’m sure I could handle this one!......only he didn’t actually take me to the dance, but...(looks up and notices that both are staring at her)....that’s more information than you needed to know, isn’t it?
Mr. T: (looks at his watch) Well, Jamie, thank you for the great detail....your point is, I think, that you need to do your part, because children’s ministry needs you, right?
Jamie: I think that sums it up...(self-righteously and dramatically) I’ll go wherever I’m needed!!!!
Mr. T: I see, OK....Will?
Will: (smiling confidently) Yes, sir!
Mr. T: What are your reasons?
Will: Well, I have some of the same reasons as Jamie, but I mainly want to help because I believe there needs to be more male leaders in children’s ministry, which obviously, qualifies me. (Jamie looks over in disgust) PLUS....I was in children’s ministry at my other church, and all the kids just loved me. I love being popular, and that’s easy to be in children’s ministry.
Mr. T: So, what job would you choose to do if you became a volunteer?
Will: Any job, you name it! I can do anything! (Backing off) Except for maybe diapers, or clean-up.....I’m just not a good “grunt work” person, you know? I need to be the one in charge, you know, the one telling everyone else how it all should be done.
Mr. T: Uh, huh....I see. So, let me see if I’ve got this straight! Jamie, you need to serve because you’re needed to serve...and Will, you want to serve because you’ve always served and because you want to be popular and in charge...do I have that right?
(both nod hands and ad lib an answer, i.e. “you got it,” “that’s pretty much right,” “that’s close enough,” etc.)
Mr. T: Well, in that case, (slowly and emphatically) you’re both FIRED! I don’t want obligation, and I don’t want domination. I want gifted people with a love for children and a passion for this purpose. Let me show you a clip of this thriving, exciting ministry, and hopefully, you’ll go home with a different perspective.
(children’s ministry video plays)
(Lights come up. Will sits dumbfounded and Jamie is sobbing)
Mr. T: Now, that’s what it’s all about....people using their gifts for a passionate purpose! Goodbye, Will and Jamie, I wish you much success.
Will: Goodbye, Mr. Trumpet. Thanks for your time.
Jamie: (blows her nose) Yes, thank you.
(Both walk out rolling their suitcases)
Mr. T: (hits intercom button) Cindy, could you come in here?
(Cindy appears immediately with notebook and pen in hand)
Cindy: Yes, Mr. Trumpett?
Mr. T: Jot this down, please, will you? I need to run an ad for children’s ministry volunteers:
“WANTED! ADULTS AND TEENS FOR CHILDREN’S MINISTRY -- Teachers, huddle leaders, administrators, actors, musicians and helping hands. Qualifications include the following:
(Mr. T and Cindy begin walking out together)
“A passionate desire to use your God-given gifts and talents to love the church’s future generation and to be a part of an exciting team.”
That’s what ministry’s all about, Cindy...why didn’t they get it?
(Lights fade and scripture appears on screen)
© Copyright 2007 Laura L. Shaw
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