Now I am not very romantic person. The last time I bought my wife flowers for no reason was about five years ago. So why has she stayed married to a chump like me for 34 years?
It is not because I don't watch sports or because I do most of the cooking. It is not because I am such a great listener or because I empty the dishwasher most mornings.
It is because I make her dreams happen!
A story I use to share with our Strengthening Marriage Sunday School class was how both our children were born at home. Renee and I had been married about four years when she became pregnant with our son. One day, at her new job, my wife met a young woman who told her all about her sister who was a midwife. That night over dinner my very excited wife announced that our baby was going to be born at home with the help of a midwife and I was going to assist with the delivery. Well, you could have knocked be over with a feather. It wasn't enough that I was scared stiff about being a new father or wondering where the money was coming from to support our growing family. I didn't know jack about having babies, let alone bringing one into the world at home.
I took a long walk that night to think about it. I realized that I was faced with a very important decision, a decision that would the define the type of husband I would be. I decided that night that if having our child at home was what my wife wanted then it was my job to deliver it (no pun intended).
I had no idea what I had committed too. Never mind that knowingly having a child at home was against the law in California. Never mind that my mother was so distraught over our decision that she almost ratted us out to the authorities. Never mind that my health insurance would not cover the expenses.
Now, admittedly, I have receive mixed reactions to this story over the years. A lot of guys think I didn't have the guts to tell her no, but I can truthfully state that it took more courage to follow through than it would have to said no. Besides, my harshest critics are all divorced, so you be the judge.
Ephesians 5:25 lays it out: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..."
Okay guys, read it again, "gave himself up for her" does not translate to doormat. What it does translate to is your wife respecting you. Someone has to break the cycle of dysfunction in a dysfunctional relationship and guys, why shouldn't it be us, why shouldn't it be you?
Granted, wisdom is required and not all dreams are worth following, but sometimes the willingness to make it happen outweighs the negative outcome of chasing an unrealistic dream.
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR,
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John, I really loved this. What a wonderful husband you are!
I was thinking the other day that although Proverbs 31 speaks of the ideal wife, there isn't really an equivalent section about being the ideal husband. However, I think you've nailed one of the most important things here. Although there comes a point where wisdom may be needed if the dreams are a little off-kilter, there is nothing like having a husband who is cheering you on. Believe me, I know.
My husband very quietly does that. Without his support of my dreams, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today, and I definitely wouldn't have been able to travel from Australia to speak at the FaithWriters' Conference last August. So keep championing her dreams. It makes a huge difference.
AND, if you ever make the decision to become a 500 member, please let me know. We only use 500 Member material in the monthly FaithWriters' Magazine, and this would have been an ideal addition. So if you ever sign up, send me a Private Message or contact me through FaithWriters, and let me know.
In His love, Deb (Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine and Challenge Coordinator)