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Sesame Street Obstetrician
by Jan Ackerson 
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The curtain opens in a brightly decorated doctor’s office. MR. and MRS. MUPPET are nervously glancing at the door. Mr. Muppet has a round, orange head with sparse blue hair and a pink nose. Mrs. Muppet’s head is rather oblong; her face is yellow, as is her curly hair, and her nose is a handsome green wedge.

Mrs. Muppet: D’you think it’ll be orange, like you? You’re such a nice shade of orange, dear.

Mr. Muppet: I dunno—I’m the only orange in my family…maybe a red, we haven’t had a red for years.

Mrs. Muppet: Oh, a red would be nice! Maybe with my nose…wouldn’t a red look nice in family photos, between the blue twins?

Mr. Muppet: Yes, dear, but all colors are beautiful, don’t you think?

Mrs. Muppet: Oh, of course—I just can’t help wondering…(they both look at the door). Should we talk about names?

Mr. Muppet: Sure! Hey, what are the letters for today?

Mrs. Muppet: Let me think…brought to you by the number 4 and the letters J and P. J and P!

Mr. Muppet: Okay then, how about Jasper or Poindexter for a boy…and Jemima or Poppy for a girl?

Mrs. Muppet: I love those names! (The DOCTOR walks in. He is bright turquoise, with a white nose and lime-green hair. He is holding a folder).

Doctor: I have the results of your ultrasound here—congratulations, it’s a girl…

(Mr. and Mrs. Muppet gasp, open-mouthed)

Doctor: …and she’s…purple!

Mrs. Muppet: Purple! Are you sure? I never imagined...oh, darling, she’s purple! How wonderful!

Doctor: Yes, a lovely purple, and if I’m not mistaken, she has your nose, Mr. Muppet. See…right there? (He shows the film to the couple).

Mr. Muppet: That’s my nose, all right! Purple and pink…Poppy, I think, don’t you, dear?

Mrs. Muppet: Oh, yes!

Doctor: Now, Mrs. Muppet, are you feeling well? Any pains, or unusual cravings?

Mrs. Muppet: No pains…but I am craving kumquats and kiwis. (She blushes) I think little Poppy was conceived on a “K” day.

Doctor: Well, that’s quite normal. I’ll see you in a month, then, and congratulations on your little purple! (The doctor exits)

Mrs. Muppet: How lovely…a purple. (They sit in silence for a moment) You know, dear…

Mr. Muppet: What is it?

Mrs. Muppet: I’ve heard that some people…not us, but you know, them…always know what color their babies are going to be. And there aren’t a lot of possibilities—pink people have pink babies, and brown people have brown babies. That’s about it!

Mr. Muppet: Well, they’re missing out. What’s wrong, dear?

Mrs. Muppet: And I’ve heard…that sometimes pink people aren’t very nice to brown people. And the other way around. They wouldn’t be like that, if they came in surprise colors—would they?

Mr. Muppet: No, dear, they wouldn’t. Now don’t you fret about them. I wonder what color her hair is going to be?

The curtain falls as Mr. and Mrs. Muppet bend over the ultrasound of their purple daughter.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jacob Gibson 29 Aug 2014
Hey Jan! How are you. I forgot whether or not I thanked you for the critique on my poem "The Right-side Up Kingdom." Your advice was a hard pill to swallow but one I needed nonetheless. I'll have to do some serious work on it when I feel up to it. I feel much more prepared for poetry in the future thanks to your instruction. Anyway, I thought your skit was good as far as the message goes. But, if I may be honest as politely as I can, I felt it could have been longer and funnier. Sesame Street, though made for children, has a knack at being funny for all ages. I did smile at the reference to the number and letters of the day. You could maybe put more references in there. Maybe give the characters more personality. Or do something people wouldn't expect, such as when the doctor says "She has your nose" he could literally remove the father's nose and hold it next to the ultrasound to compare noses before he gives his nose back. (I recall Ernie once removed Bert's nose to put it on a picture he drew of him) Do the unexpected and then close with your message. However, don't take all of this too personally. I may just have a different sense of humor. God bless and keep writing!
Anne Linington 13 Sep 2008
Just browsing your articles- very much enjoyed the fun here and the lesson at the end. Being a Miss Piggy fan helped too!
Holly Westefeld 26 Feb 2008
I loved the perspective of this story. It reminds me of holding my nephew when he was about a year, running my fingers through his curly hair, starting to list those in the family with curly hair, then remembering he is adopted. :-)
Teresa Hollums 30 Nov 2007
wow!! What a precious comment on our extreme desire to have children to be just like us!! This means alot to me because my children may have to adopt due to infertility. A precious, yet funny, and poignant comment. thanks!
Laury Hubrich  26 Oct 2007
How cute. Who would ever think of using muppet characters to "preach" a topic so pertinent to our society today? Of course -- Jan would and did! :) Laury
darlene hight 02 Oct 2007
Whatta a hoot! too much fun
Suzanne R 02 Oct 2007
Gorgeous. And the twist was really special.
Linda Germain  02 Oct 2007
You've shown how the most profound messages can be slipped in surrounded by a flurry of furry color and humor. The Sesame Street folks need to read this...in fact, a LOT of folks do. Excellent, excellent work.
Beth LaBuff  01 Oct 2007
Love it! Sooo cute! Clever, imaginative, humorous. The title is perfect. I may have to send a link to my daughter who is expecting a pink girl in January. :)
Verna Cole Mitchell  30 Sep 2007
I don't know how you do it every time--astonish me with your creativity--and even manage to get an important message out amid a humorous piece. Go figure!
Marilyn Schnepp  29 Sep 2007
Nice job Jan! Very Cute!
Rachel Rudd  29 Sep 2007
This is great, Jan. Wonderful visual descriptions for a meaningful sketch.
Laurie Walker 29 Sep 2007
That was SO MUCH FUN to read! Oh, what an endearing story and fantastic moral!
Kristen Hester 29 Sep 2007
This is great. How you can have the muppets have such a deep and meaningul conversation is beyond me. But you did it and made it work...beautifully. Great job.
Janice Cartwright 29 Sep 2007
Jan when God wired your brain... he threw away the blue-print! I mean this all in a good way, of course. It's just that I don't know how you ever thought of it. So amazing and creative.
dub W 28 Sep 2007
Oh, this is special. the Muppets...of course, Purple Pride. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks.
Seema Bagai  28 Sep 2007
Laughed all the way through this. Clearly the work of a master. Jan, your writing is amazing.
Patricia Casey 28 Sep 2007
Jan, Great creativity. It's a privilege to read your story and message about color.
Helen Murray 28 Sep 2007
I wonder if Adam and Eve had surprise colours in Cain and Able, since they had the whole genetic material for mankind! Interesting thought. Loved the "them" and "us" bit.
Deborah Porter  28 Sep 2007
Jan, I laughed all the way through, until that wonderful twist at the end (during the D & M conversation). Then I got a little tear in my eye. This was so special. Love, Deb


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