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Time Passes 5 elements mini challenge
by darlene hight
09/27/07
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Time Passes
By Darlene Hight



Crunch
Dan took an oversized bite from his apple. The letter lay unopened on the table. He glanced at Andrea. A storm was brewing. He saw it in her face. He braced himself. Here we go

“Dan, I can’t do it”, she announced.
“Honey, it is time.” His tone was soft but stern.
“We cannot send Pap to that place!” Tears pooled in her eyes.

She looks like a rabbit caught in a trap, Dan thought. “Andrea, we have talked about this. It is the best facility in the state. Remember, that is why we bought this house so that you would be close to him?”

“Okay, Dr. Dan, do not take that “Please be reasonable” tone with me. Do you really want him to be surrounded by strangers? This is his home. We can’t just send him away!” Andrea hissed in a whispered yell. “And do you know how ridiculous it is that you insist on eating an apple everyday?”

so, what’s wrong with a doctor eating an apple a day? Dan pushed back a chuckle that threatened to spill out over her last accusation. “Sweetheart, I know that you are upset but there is no reason to get hostile. It’s not like we are dropping Pap off at the pound. These are professionals. They are going to take really good care of him.” Dan said in his most reassuring tone.

Pap stepped out of his bedroom. He stood at the door smiling. His white button-up shirt was partially tucked with the collar turned up on one side. He had his bag slung over one shoulder and one shoe untied.

“Is it time to go yet?” he asked.
Andrea choked back a gasp He has no idea what we’re doing
“So, you’re ready to go, Pap old man?” Dan asked jokingly.
Andrea glared at him. “Come here Patrick. Let mommy fix your collar.” Andrea tucked his shirt, smoothed his hair and began looking through his backpack. When she got to the box of crayons, she asked, “Pap, where is your purple crayon?”
“I don’t like purple”, he announced.
“So, what did you do with it?”
“I gave it to Buddy.” he answered.
“You gave it to Buddy? Sweetie, dogs don’t use crayons.” she reminded.
“I know. He chewed it up all over my bed.” Patrick looked a little sheepish.

Andrea picked up the car keys and the letter which held his Kindergarten registration.
“Your teacher has her work cut out for her. Let’s go” she said and they moved toward the door. Dan breathed a sigh of relief.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Suzanne R 02 Oct 2007
Fun - well done. I didn't guess the twist at the end either.
Beth LaBuff  01 Oct 2007
I did not suspect a kindergartner either!! Great dialog and very well written.
Verna Cole Mitchell  30 Sep 2007
I went from parent to pet and then just fell into your perfect trap with kindergarten. This is wonderful writing.
Emily Blakely 29 Sep 2007
That was not fair! Not fair! But such great writing. I was really caught in the heart-wrenching dilemma. Then at the end, through eyes blurred by tears, you got me with the twist. Great.
Kristen Hester 29 Sep 2007
This is great. You really got me. I was expecting a dog, also. Good twist.
Jan Ackerson  29 Sep 2007
Very precious, Darlene! Pap, indeed...
Deborah Porter  28 Sep 2007
Wonderful Darlene. I thought it was a grandfather, and then a pet before it got to young Patrick. I loved the twist at the end. This was a delightful story that will hit the spot with every mother who has ever had to do the same thing. Love, Deb
Laurie Walker 27 Sep 2007
Fantastic! I was totally expecting it to be about a pet :) I love the concern in her voice - sounds a lot like me with each child.
dub W 27 Sep 2007
Beautifully done. I honestly did not expect the end until the crayon, and at that I was hardly convinced. A fun read.
Seema Bagai  27 Sep 2007
Loved the twist. Thought it was going to be about an elderly parent or grandparent. Great job.
Marilyn Schnepp  27 Sep 2007
A.O.K.! Kudos! Got 'em all in and made a fascinating and creative story that ended with a flair. Good Job!




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