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Three in the Morning
by Jan Ackerson 
09/21/07
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At 3 a.m.

Jane Anderson, the wife

I’m going to kill him. How can such incredible noises come out of one nose? Whoever coined the term ‘sawing logs’ never spent a night in bed with—him. ‘Sawing logs’ would be a lullaby. He’s like a cross between…fingernails on the chalkboard and…an ailing bullfrog. Roll…OVER! (50 words)

Bill Anderson, the husband

Snrkk…schrrrck…gkrccxh…umph! An elbow in the ribs again. Must have been snoring. Funny—I never hear it, how bad can it be? Those elbows are sharp…sngghrxk…uh-oh, I heard that, better roll over…oh yeah, that’s not an elbow. C’mere, babe. (44 words)

Fluffy, the cat

I am a mighty lion…king of all I survey. I crouch here, high above the land below, watching for the slightest motion…there! A tiny movement…I leap from my perch…flattened to the ground, I creep slowly, slowly…I pounce! The tiny creature is mine! No…it’s gone. (50 words)

Toshiba, the computer

Yoo-hoo! Just got another e-mail! It’s just sitting here, in your inbox! Hey! Can’t you hear me calling? Three more messages just went up on—hold it—gotta update my Norton, gimme ten minutes. Ahhhhhh, that felt good, nice and clean now. Hey, wake up! Another e-mail! Wake up, already! (50 words)

The walls

Remember the Christmas when the girls played piano duets for hours? Remember the soupy raspberry pie that Molly made? Remember when Jenna put her hair in dozens of braids? Remember the huge stuffed gorilla that neither of them would even look at? Remember reading aloud on the couch? Remember? Remember? (50 words)




If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Rachel Rudd 29 Sep 2007
This is great, Jan! Good descriptions of life in the middle of the night. I don't have to poke my husband, though. I just call his name and he stop snoring. :)
Leigh MacKelvey 26 Sep 2007
All were so wonderful. I especially liked the couple getting a little "frisky" at 3 a.m.! Loved the Fluffy one two. It's just what they do at that time!
Leigh MacKelvey 26 Sep 2007
All were so wonderful. I especially liked the couple getting a little "frisky" at 3 a.m.! Loved the Fluffy one two. It's just what they do at that time!
Marita Vandertogt 26 Sep 2007
I loved The Walls - you created a whole sense of story in those few sentences. Made me stop and live in the memory for a few moments. Nice.
Teri Wilson 26 Sep 2007
Jan, this is hysterical. And I can relate to it all TOO well. Love it! Blessings, Teri
darlene hight 26 Sep 2007
Too much fun! I loved them Darlene
Emily Blakely 25 Sep 2007
Your entry was totally delightful and I'm having as much fun reading the comments! The Walls may be the only companion to know our thoughts in those wierd wee-morning hours.
Janice Cartwright 25 Sep 2007
I'm running out of adjectives - superb, delightful, masterful, amazing... you get the picture!
Mo 24 Sep 2007
Love the first one. (He should be tested for sleep apnea!) The computer one is hilarious. Also, an overdue THANK YOU to you for your comments on quite a few of my entries. Your comments make me feel like a winner (even when the judges disagree.) I've also learned from your comments left on others' entries. Thank you for all that you do around here!
Trina Courtenay 24 Sep 2007
Jan, as always another great entry. I just arrived back to Faithwriters after taking the summer off to move across the country so when I received an e-mail telling me one of my fav. writers just submitted a new article I thought, "wow, what a great new feature! Now I'll always know when my fav's post and I'll never be at a loss for some great reads" I look forward to the challenge starting back up in Oct and I look forward to trying to figure out your entry. <><
Trina Courtenay 24 Sep 2007
I tried to leave a comment but it didn't show up. So, I'll try again - another great article Jan with some oh so true insights.
Verna Cole Mitchell  23 Sep 2007
So creative were these and so much fun to read. Great little gems. I'm the "Bill" who gets turned--too funny! I loved your talking walls. When we moved from a house we'd raised our children in, the walls echoed all night with stories.
Betty Castleberry 23 Sep 2007
These are great. Love the computer personified. You conveyed a lot of information in all of them with not many words. Well done.
Rachel Burkum 23 Sep 2007
Great stuff! You made me laugh. :)
Laurie Walker 22 Sep 2007
I simply HAD to laugh at the first two after talking with my mom last night. My dad rarely snores (unless tired/on his back). Mom hit him a good one to roll him over :)
Joanne Sher  22 Sep 2007
Oh, your VOICE is all over these - and I love your voice. Each of these is an absolute gem.
Seema Bagai  22 Sep 2007
Jan, these are great. Loved the computer and the walls. I'm amazed when writers can give "voice" to objects.
David F. Palmieri Sr.  22 Sep 2007
"I'm going to kill him" My wife was standing beside me when I read this...I didn't tell her...she was commenting on the "condition" of my desk at the time...I didn't want to give her any fresh ideas...I loved it...could relate to each section...especially liked "The Walls."...amidst all the confusion...the "memories" are what really count...thank you for your example as I strive to refine my own work.
David F. Palmieri Sr.  22 Sep 2007
"I'm going to kill him" My wife was standing beside me when I read this...I didn't tell her...she was commenting on the "condition" of my desk at the time...I didn't want to give her any fresh ideas...I loved it...could relate to each section...especially liked "The Walls."...amidst all the confusion...the "memories" are what really count...thank you for your example as I strive to refine my own work.
David F. Palmieri Sr.  22 Sep 2007
"I'm going to kill him" My wife was standing beside me when I read this...I didn't tell her...she was commenting on the "condition" of my desk at the time...I didn't want to give her any fresh ideas...I loved it...could relate to each section...especially liked "The Walls."...amidst all the confusion...the "memories" are what really count...thank you for your example as I strive to refine my own work.
David F. Palmieri Sr.  22 Sep 2007
"I'm going to kill him" My wife was standing beside me when I read this...I didn't tell her...she was commenting on the "condition" of my desk at the time...I didn't want to give her any fresh ideas...I loved it...could relate to each section...especially liked "The Walls."...amidst all the confusion...the "memories" are what really count...thank you for your example as I strive to refine my own work.
David F. Palmieri Sr.  22 Sep 2007
"I'm going to kill him" My wife was standing beside me when I read this...I didn't tell her...she was commenting on the "condition" of my desk at the time...I didn't want to give her any fresh ideas...I loved it...could relate to each section...especially liked "The Walls."...amidst all the confusion...the "memories" are what really count...thank you for your example as I strive to refine my own work.
David F. Palmieri Sr.  22 Sep 2007
"I'm going to kill him" My wife was standing beside me when I read this...I didn't tell her...she was commenting on the "condition" of my desk at the time...I didn't want to give her any fresh ideas...I loved it...could relate to each section...especially liked "The Walls."...amidst all the confusion...the "memories" are what really count...thank you for your example as I strive to refine my own work
David F. Palmieri Sr.  22 Sep 2007
I am sorry...my computer was acting up this morning...really...sorry...
Linda Roth 22 Sep 2007
Jan, your variety was amazing. I laughed at the one of the computer's inner voice. No one else had done anything like it. And, I liked hearing what the cat had to say. I am a cat person. Black ones - not me, the cats.
dub W 21 Sep 2007
Oh, these are priceless...the Walls really intrigued me...just imagine if walls could talk...so well done.
Linda Germain  21 Sep 2007
Wonderful! The Bill and Jan story is priceless, and probably applauded by more than one. (You're very good at this, you know).Thanks for the unexpected laughter~ :0)
Kristen Hester 21 Sep 2007
Wonderul, wonderful. This is one of the first I've read. You've set the bar high. Thanks!
Pat Guy  21 Sep 2007
Can't choose a favorite - oh what a shame! ;) Oh Jan - not only a treat but some of the best! I'm loving these!
Julie Michaelson 21 Sep 2007
I like this! It's great! God Bless!




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