Thinking It Over
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"Lord, I don't know what to do. I keep trying to not have the thoughts I'm having, but the harder I try, the more they insist on hanging around."
"Child, I know everything about you."
"I know, Lord. That's why I'm so afraid to actually think these things. Shouldn't you be striking me dead or something? I'm such a horrible person, but I can't make them go away."
"Come, let's reason together. I know the very thoughts of which you speak. Let's talk about them".
"T-T-Talk about them? I'm just trying to get them to go away. I can't say them out loud, especially to You!"
"They won't go away on their own, child. You are having them for a reason. Let's explore that. I AM the very One you need to speak them to. Out loud. Nobody is listening. It's just you and Me."
"I'm afraid to, Lord. I know it is my own desperation, my desire for a quick fix to all this, that causes them. But I am ashamed of them. I want to please You but I can't turn off my head!"
"And you shouldn't try to. Are you aware that some people call me Counselor?"
"There's a reason for that. I am your friend. I know you better than you know yourself. I want to see you at peace, with yourself, and with those around you. You may freely bring ALL to Me."
"I can't look at You right now, Lord. You must be so ashamed of me. Why do these thoughts keep popping into my head?"
"Because you are afraid of what you cannot see. Because you think one single thing will solve all your problems. Dear child, it won't. It may temporarily solve some things but it will present other things that may be far worse to bear. I am your hope. I am your strength. I will see to it that you are provided for and abundantly at that. Don't you trust me?"
"I do trust you. I'm just scared to think these thoughts. I don't understand why they persist. I don't think I'm worthy of your time and attention. Not right now."
"You are more than worthy for I have called you unto myself. There is none other that you may share your problem with. There is none other who will understand the reason behind your thoughts than I. I am prepared to walk through this with you, if you'll just let me. Now, look at Me".
I do, but only because He asked me to.
"It's pretty ugly, Lord." I whisper.
I hear laughter. "I've seen much worse. Lo, since the beginning of time, I have known you. I have seen into the depths of your soul. I know what you are thinking. Remember when I told you that nothing would befall you except that which is common to man? You bear a common problem. The lures of this life are many. I want to be there as you face every single one of them. You, my beloved, are mine. Your problems are mine. I promise to stay here with you. You may tell me anything at all and I will still be here. I want to hear what you have to say. Let's take it apart and examine it together. Then you will know why you are thinking these things and we will together take the necessary steps to clear them out-once and for all. And you, my child, will once again have the thing I desire for you. You will be at peace once more."
I feel His love, His warmth beginning from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. More importantly, I feel the load in my heart lighten. The ice is beginning to melt. Though I am afraid, with the help of the Lord, I begin to talk.
Do you have thoughts and issues that plague you? Do you feel like you have noone to share them with? No one who would understand what you face. No one you can share your deepest and darkest thoughts with?
I just wanted to remind everyone that you do have One who travels this world with you. One who knows you and loves you anyway. One with whom you can share EVERYTHING. You are never alone. We are priviledged to be able to enjoy a personal relationship with our Creator. PERSONAL. That means just you and Him.
Let Him walk with you.
Blessed Saviour, beloved Friend and Counselor, Light of the World, thank you, thank you, thank you!
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