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All in the Family of God Archie Bunker goes to church
by Tim Pickl 
09/03/07
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Characters
Archie Bunker
Edith Bunker
Mike Stivic (Meathead)
Gloria Stivic
Joey Stivic (Mike & Gloria’s son)
Child Narrator
Children’s choir
Soloist
Audience

Props
Archie’s chair
Edith’s chair
small square table
lamp for the table
decorated Christmas tree

Music
All in the Family theme songs
Angels we have heard on high
Mary, did you know?
O come all ye faithful

-------------------------------------------
Setting: The Bunker’s living room. Archie and Edith’s chairs front-center stage,
with the table and lamp on the table between them. The Christmas tree is
set up, center stage, behind the chairs. Archie is dressed for church.
The audience cannot see his face, as he reads the Sunday paper
-------------------------------------------

EDITH
(from off stage) Arrrrchie, Archie, where are you, Archie?

ARCHIE
(puts the paper down, hesitates at first, making an ugly face) Ee-dit, I’m in here
(he picks up the sports section, then grumbles to himself) A man’s gotta read the
sports section!

-------------------------------------------
Mike Stivic enters--
-------------------------------------------

MIKE
Oh--Arch…there you are. Aren’t you goin’ to church with us?

ARCHIE
(mocking Mike) Aren’t you goin’ to church…. Of course I’m goin’ to church,
Meathead! I wouldn’t miss it for the world. My little grandson is in the Christmas play.

MIKE
Well, you don’t look like you’re ready--looks to me like you’re too busy reading the sports--

-------------------------------------------
Edith enters, interrupting Mike--
-------------------------------------------

EDITH
Oh, Archie, there you are. We can go any time.

ARCHIE
Yeah, I was just checkin’ out the paper for the big game later today.

MIKE
What game’s that?

ARCHIE
Don’t you know any-ting, knucklehead?! Oh, that’s right: you’re too busy out
there protestin’ the Iraq war--

MIKE
It’s called the War on Terrorism, Arch. It’s all about oil. Our President has oil friends
makin’ all kinds of money--

ARCHIE
Somethin’ you wouldn’t know much about!

EDITH
Oh, come on, it’s Christmas, we need to all get along at least for one day. Archie,
who’s in the big game today?

ARCHIE
(sticks his tongue out at Mike first) The Giants are playing the Green Bay Slackers at 1:00.

EDITH
Well, then we better get goin’--

-------------------------------------------
Doorbell rings, Archie gets up--
-------------------------------------------

ARCHIE
I’ll get the door, Meathead. I wouldn’t want you to strain yourself.

-------------------------------------------
Enter in Gloria and Joey
-------------------------------------------

GLORIA
Oh, hi Daddy! Merry Christmas! (hugs him)

JOEY
Hi Grandpa! (hugs him too)

ARCHIE
(looking at Joey, obviously disgusted) Oh, hi, what’s this? (motions to Joey’s costume)

GLORIA
Oh, Daddy, Joey’s dressed in his costume--

ARCHIE
Costume? What’s this all about? It ain’t Halloweenee, honey! Or did they change Christmas
now, too and didn’t tell me?

GLORIA
No Daddy, Joey’s just dressed up for his part in the play today at church.

EDITH
Yeah Arch, and he’s playing an angel. Isn’t he cute?

ARCHIE
(mocking) Isn’t he cute? He’s very cute, but not in that get-up! I ain’t goin’--

MIKE
Come on, Gloria. We need to get goin’--

EDITH
Oh Archie--just go anyways. You’re all ready and …you could take your paper
in case you got bored.

GLORIA
Please, Daddy?

JOEY
(grabs Archie’s hand) Please Grandpa?

ARCHIE
Oh, ok, all right.

EDITH
I’ll be right back (exits)

ARCHIE
(to Gloria) Gloria, did you wrap those presents I left which you?

GLORIA
Well, yes of course, Daddy. But you know, that’s not what Christmas is all about.

MIKE
Yeah, Arch. Don’t you know what Christmas is all about?

ARCHIE
(disgusted) Of course I know what Christmas is all about! Every store in America makes
50% of its sales in one month for the year.

GLORIA
Oh, just come to church…. You’ll see!

-------------------------------------------
Edith enters in--
-------------------------------------------

EDITH
(smiling, beaming) Ok, everybody, let’s go!

-------------------------------------------
Archie puts on his hat and coat--
Exit all. Archie, Edith, Mike and Gloria take front row seats in the Audience.
On stage: remove the chairs, table and lamp.
Leave the Christmas tree center stage.
-------------------------------------------







CHILD NARRATOR
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and
laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch
over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round
about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy,
which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes,
lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and
saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

SONG: Children’s Choir (with Joey) Angels We Have Heard on High

Angels we have heard on high,
Singing sweetly through the night,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their brave delight.
Gloria in excelsis Deo.
Gloria in excelsis Deo.

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why these songs of happy cheer?
What great brightness did you see?
What glad tiding did you hear?
Gloria in excelsis Deo.
Gloria in excelsis Deo.




ARCHIE
Hey Gloria, they’re singin’ yer song!

GLORIA
Shhhh….

EDITH
Shhhh… Hush now, this is the best part. Listen now.







SONG: Soloist Mary did you know?

Intro:
Am G F E7 Am G F E7

Am G F E7
Mary did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water?
Am G F E7
Mary did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
F G C G Am
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
Dm7 Am7 E7
This child that you've delivered will soon deliver you.

Am G F E7
Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Am G F E7
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with His hand?
F G C G Am
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
Dm7 Am E7
When you've kissed your little baby then you've kissed the face of God.

(Inst)
Am G F E7

Am G F
Mary, did you know...?
E7
Mary, did you know...?

F G C Am
The blind will see, the deaf will hear the dead will live a-gain
F G C E7
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb.

Am G F E7
Mary, did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Am G F E7
Mary, did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
F G C G Am
Did you know that your baby boy was heaven's perfect lamb?
Dm7 Am7 E7 Am
This sleeping child you're holding is the great "I AM".

(Ending Inst)
G F E

Am G F E E7 Am



ARCHIE
So this baby they’ve been talkin’ about--

MIKE
Became our Savior.

EDITH
That’s the true meaning of Christmas, Archie! It’s not about toys and presents for us--
It’s Christ’s birthday!

ARCHIE
Oh….


SONG: Children’s Choir O Come all Ye Faithful

O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye, to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him, born the King of angels;

Chorus
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

Sing, choirs of angels, sing in exultation;
O sing, all ye citizens of heaven above!
Glory to God, all glory in the highest;

Chorus
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

Yea, Lord, we greet Thee, born this happy morning;
Jesus, to Thee be glory given;
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing.

Chorus2
For He alone is worthy...
For He alone is worthy...
For He alone is worthy...
Christ the Lord.

-------------------------------------------
During the song, people start going past them, kneeling at the altar to pray
Edith and Gloria get up and follow them
-------------------------------------------

ARCHIE
(stands…then says to Mike) Hey, what’s goin’ on? Where are they goin’?

MIKE
(stands, smiles) They’re goin’ to pray.

ARCHIE
Can anyone go?

MIKE
Come on, Arch.

-------------------------------------------
Mike gently puts his hand on Archie’s shoulder and together they walk to the altar area,
and kneel there together with Edith and Gloria. They all sing together, For He alone is worthy,
For He alone is worthy, For He alone is worthy, Christ the Lord.
-------------------------------------------

ALL
(singing) For He alone is worthy, For He alone is worthy, For He alone is worthy,
Christ the Lord.

ARCHIE
(after the song ends….head in hands, shaking) Forgive me, Dear Lord, for I am a sinner. Forgive me.

MIKE
Praise God… Praise God…

GLORIA
This is an answer to prayer--

EDITH
Thank You Jesus, Thank You Jesus…

JOEY
(stands, faces the audience) Every knee shall bow and every tongue will
confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. For He alone is worthy!

EDITH
(stands and hugs Joey) Amen, Joey… amen! (with one hand raised toward heaven)
Thank You Jesus!


--end--


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