[Author's note: 'zoftig'
is Yiddish for a....eh,
lady, who is well-endowed.]
I would feed you
with the finest of the wheat,
and with honey from the rock
I would satisfy you.
[Psalms 81:16]
****************************
"What do You mean,
by 'blessings', Lord?"
"Abundance."
"So, You mean,
like, rich food?"
"No."
"I'm glad;
what with my
indigestion......
I still don't think
I've gott'n over
that French dessert,
from twelve years ago."
[NOD.]
"So, Lord?
What IS it?"
"You tell ME, child."
"Well, how 'bout
belonging to a yaht club?"
"For YOU, My precious?"
"Yeah....I can't seem
to forget that lovely
boat ride in Hawaii.
It was quite... eh, memorable."
[NOD.]
"How 'bout
having a big,
gorgeous house
on the beach?"
"No."
"I don't know, Lord;
To most folks, that
would be a DREAM life."
"Perhaps, but would
that be a blessing to YOU?"
"Neah.....I guess not.
Though, I WOULD be able
to step right outside
to get cheap kitty litter;
schlepping around Walmart
tends to lose its thrill."
[NOD.]
"What else, child?"
"You mean about Walmart?
Oh - about the blessing -
well, when I was a kid,
if a woman was said to
'be blessed', that meant
she was......well,
on the zoftig side."
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Back in Your day, Lord,
'blessed' meant having
lots 'o kids.
I guess, I'm blessed
- with cats -
and then there's Fred."
"Yes, child.
You do have a frog."
"I don't know
about THIS century, Lord:
maybe, now it means
being important
enough to have
one of those mulberry phones -
or is it a blueberry?"
"Would that be a
blessing to YOU, child?"
"I don't think so, Lord.
I've never been
technologically blessed -
yesterday I
accidentally took
a picture of me
sitting at the steering
wheel."
"I know, child."
"And, I HAVE traveled
to far off places, Lord:
but....eh.....
those airplanes
never seem to have
enough airbags."
"True, child."
(silence)
"So, what IS it, Lord?
What does it mean to be
truly blessed?"
"Tell Me, child."
"Well.......now that I've
become more SEASONED,
as it were......"
[NOD.]
"Go on."
"I think it has more to do
with......"
"Yes, child?"
"......with having ......"
[PATIENT SILENCE.]
"........the longing....."
"For what, child?"
".......for a Savior."
********************************
I am the Good Shepherd.
[John 10:11]
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