Curie Ossity was walking in the mall one day when she saw a strange but interesting book in a store window.
It was a book on Chanting and the joys of discovering your inner “You.”
Although she was a dedicated Christian and leaders had warned her about such books, she just knew that Jesus wouldn’t mind her expanding her mind to find her “Inner Self.”
So she paid the 12.95 for the book and went home to start on her journey of self discovery. She did not look at the book that night, waiting for a time when she could sit and really grasp all that the book had to say.
The next day after work, she stopped by the mall again, this time to pick up an item for her car and saw a sign that encouraged her to get her palm read and discover who she was in a former life. Can you really do that?
She stood outside waiting her turn. She was sure Jesus did not mind her doing this because he wanted her to learn all that she could, didn’t he?
The palm reader blew a smoke ring from her cigar, touched Curie’s palm and told her a lot of good things were going to happen to her. Then she said, “That’ll be ten dollars.”
Curie said, “But you didn’t tell me who I was in a former life!”
“Oh.” The palm reader peered at her closely, blew another smoke ring and said, “Er…Joan of Ark.”
Curie was delighted, “Really? I was Joan of Ark?”
“Yep”, the Palm Reader said, “Pay up honey and move it!”
Curi walked to her car in anticipation and admiration for herself. Wow. What a great person I was. Wow. People don’t even know. I was Joan of Ark! Her self esteem soared, maximized, she was somebody!
She was so excited that she went back the next day to get her palm read again.
The woman told her again that a lot of good things were going to happen to her. On and on so forth and more forth...
Then she told Curie that the spirits were telling her that she was Mary Queen of Scots in a former life.
“Wait a minute, “Curie said confused, “Yesterday you told me that I was Joan of Ark in a former life!”
The Palm Reader peered at her., “Were you here yesterday? Well what are you doing coming back again today girl? I didn’t remember you!
There is a long line out there honey—Joan of Ark—Mary Queen of Scots—whats the difference!
I’m busy! I get confused sometimes…alright? Okay, you’re still Joan of Ark if you want to be! That’ll be ten dollars!”
Curie drove home angry. She was confused. She did not know exactly who she was in a former life!
Was it Joan of Ark or was it Mary Queen of Scots? She was beginning to think that Palm Reader was a fraud!
When she got home, she made herself a light meal and then grabbed her book on Chanting.
It said to find the innermost part of your house, (or apartment in Curie’s case), and center yourself. Then to sit cross legged on the carpet.
Curie followed the instructions and laid the book out in front of her.
Next, it said to chant the name of the deity listed on the page. Curie wasn’t sure she had the pronunciation right but she began to chant the name. Eyes closed, palms extended, Curie, sat chanting the name of the deity.
Does this stuff work? Yes, it did.
Suddenly Curie got goosebumps from her head to her toes. Her head felt light and funny. Bright shafts of light began to beam into her living room. She heard a swooshing sound. Although her eyes were closed she felt like her ceiling opened and something came through.
A voice like the wind roared, “I am here. I will be your guide!”
Suddenly Curie was not so sure she wanted to chant anymore. She wasn’t sure she wanted a strange guide in her apartment. This was a one bedroom apartment! Where was he going to guide her to?
She was suppose to find peace but no peace was there. She was scared and nervous and felt like something strange was all around her.
So she called someone who had been her closest friend, someone who had always been there for her, someone who had patiently nurtured her, she called,
“J E S U S!” Lord help me, I am foolish...again. My curiosity has gotten me into trouble again!
And Jesus gave her peace.
Curie was frightened off and on for several days but felt strongly that she needed to read the Psalms aloud, which she did every day.
The spirit guide was confused. Why had she summoned him from his great nether whether regions if she only wanted to read the Bible?
After Curie read the entire book of Psalms(aloud) and all of the scriptures about the blood of Jesus, the spirit guide got scared and left and did not return.
Whew! Jesus in, devils out! Jesus in, devils out!
Curie soon felt that peace that only God brings, the peace that passes all understanding.
The phone rang a couple of days later and it was her friend, Jennifer.
Jennifer was telling her that she had been Joan of Ark in a former life.
“Who told you that?”
Jennifer told her that the palm reader had told her that. Then she continued, “That is a lie. I know it is.”
“Why,” Curie wanted to know.
“Because I KNOW’’, Jennifer said, “I KNOW I was Mary Queen of Scots in my former life!”
“We both were!”
“The palm reader told me that I was Mary Queen of Scots in my former life, too. So was Irene and Bootsie, I heard!”
“Jerry told Lola that Tiffany said Harold told her that the palm reader told Oscar he was Mary Queen of Scots in his former life, too!”
“Oscar? He’s a guy!”
“I know,” Jennifer mused, but he was wearing his hair long and the palm reader thought he was a girl!” They ruled Oscar out. There was no way Oscar could have been Mary Queen of Scots.
Jennifer thought long and hard. “Lessee, you, me, Irene and Bootsie---Maybe Mary Queen of Scots was a quadruplet!”
Curie mused, “Or maybe that palm reader is a liar!"
Jennifer had an idea. "Hmnn. Lets look it up on the internet. Let’s see if Mary Queen of Scots was a quadruplet.”