'To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 'Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men; robbers, evildoers, adulterers or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get. But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.'' Luke 18:9-14 NIV
I often times find myself in the stance of both of these men; sometimes the Pharisee and too often, thankfully, the tax collector. This morning on the way to work, it hit me over and over again how much of a sinner blessed I am; for the salvational love of the Father who would give up His Son for me. Me.
It is hard lately, with the uncertainity of the future. The movement of dear saints from the Body; either physically moving away or spiritually returning home. The movement of saints from the church body, moving into more definition and action as God calls. And the personal battles that I face on a daily basis. It has been years now, since I took that promise. The struggling with finances and the payment of consequences for a sinful past; they wear after a time.
But, in the stillness of the night when God roams my world, a light shining in that darkness, I hear the call.
My soul rejoices in fearful trembling at the Creator of All giving me the gift.
My heart sings in painful expectation at my LORD's promise of return.
And I give up my life again, regretting that it is only a simple, solo life to give in pursuit of the kingdom goals.
Ummmmm, the blessings flow even when I don't know.