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Looking For Sunlight Through The Rain
by Heather Ross
07/17/07
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I know this is a strange poem, but I am trying to convey one lost human souls journey through a lost world, finds no help, but isn't interesting how one person will search hard even in the wrong direction but still searching. Once again using words I have heard a few people describe there life, brokenness, endless dead end searches, and how the Lord was leading, always leading them. It is that nugget of innate knowledge that we come from a source not our own, that seems to lead us home.

I am looking for sunlight through the rain. How great is the darkness? Cold, lost. I am hidden without form or void. Not realized underneath the substance is black fire. (This paragraph actually came from a rabbi's thinking of how the earth was formed!)

Does the world revolve around us or do we revolve around the world? Cast out into sea in a basket, adrift. To be carried by trivial winds and waves without anyone at the helm?

I persecute time with hope (impatience). Broken from connections, like a soul sinking in a sin-filled desolate water.

I am looking for sunlight through the rain. Swayed by humans and thoughts, but search of life is not found in theirs. (the lost)

A 1000 yard stare paralyzes motion, a vulture to devour time. A griffen who perches, as he purveys all within his predatory vision, and unable to alight. (traumatized victims-of war, rape, incest, deep emotional pain)

Euphony is fleeting, tickles for a brief interlude, who can catch the notes in the air? Does anything last? Promises nothing more than a soliloquy, the winds reflection of illusion. Flicker of sound as utterances flee that beguile, but none can seize and conquer. (False hope, short-lived happiness)

Expedience in a race for opportunity in expectancy, rise to go after a prize, when they arrive, find a dying hope quenched in self-accusation, like Orpheus in his recovery of his wife.(World views, rollercoaster life, pride, idols)

Allow fame, which is a lifelong hunt of fantasy to be found in our defiant tombs, as it disgraces our arrogant mockery in the dominance of death. (Red carpet lifstyle, being used and dumped)

And I am looking for sunlight through the rain. Human shadows cast a dark reflection, forced to abode with myself and there is no escape. But where is the shadow refuge from danger, like a mother's inseparable companion? (you can feel darkness in your life, more than visibly see it, foreboding, like someone is trying to take your life, where is safety? like hanging on to mother?)

I retain my deception like prison chains, carried in a travel bag, mere memory, but it is not a clear conscience, but seared through of evil intent collected in reservoir talent. What tools are to be had to expunge the deep roots harbored for years? (Deep seated or rooted trauma/pain torments daily, clings, like familiar spirits)

Where is my...in the beginning? I was hidden deep within the earth, but known as fearfully and wonderfully made. Am I nothing but a empty vessel or is there a soul contained in secret?

There was darkness (sin) on the face of my deep, and the spirit of God moved upon the face of waters (soul). God said, "let there be light!" I am totally different from all others. The world does not revolve around me, and I do not revolve around the world. I am a soul breathed human being burning a light implanted within me by God.

I did not choose God first, He had chosen me. He was ever near yet through the veil I wore, I could not see. Can this be understood, and yet, deep within me, I fight against what I know to be true. World's rebellion and disobedience resides in me.

Now here's gold: My own escape lead out of captivity, unfolded faith and hope by God Alone, an urge in my heart to practice courage, and hope, this sacred knowledge, I place in your hands! (The Lord choses us, we think we find Him, He has never left our side! Blindness, deafness, many pre-Christians think those in the church is what they will turn out to be and can't stomach it! This is what I have learned from some, amazing! But the that doesn't stop them from taking that leap of faith to believe, once wild child came to the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and it didn't hurt at all, and all the fight against choice of Christ falls to the ground when the realisation of how wonderful He really is!)

This soul awakened to realize I must get back home. No longer carried by the wind and waves idly. Hope is a seed by faith planted, that encircles a heart like a crown, and bears upon my soul deliverance, many of us could bear. (Finding Christ they sense stability, assurance of the choice made was right, not so easily swayed by friends now, who want to do drugs, drink, etc. This is what they had been looking for.)

And Who is He that has raised me from the darkness and death? I have found who the Son Light is, and the power of His Reign. My soul drinks from a fountain never to run dry from a source from the Father's House. (Jesus is the Son Light, His Reign in our hearts is how to overcome, & live victoriously)

I am no longer swayed by vain imagings that lie, and ensnare my soul in a trap I can not flee. Eyes have opened to newness of all, ah, here I see, a mind renewed, Who is the (holy) spirit teaching me? What sweet, hidden knowledge to glean from just believing. May I say, my Lord God, I desire Your Holy Wishes.

My heading is set toward timelessness. A journey leads from darkness of soul to unending Light. And He is the Light, the way, the truth. I charge you to go to the door, do not be afraid to knock, for on the other side, is what you have been seeking all your life!

My birthright I share with you who seek! The secret door that few find and dare to cross its threshold holds your eternity and unending life. Nature is His Creation, not nature created His (God's) Life! (For God always is, was, and will be).

Nature can not save you, your search will not lead to eternal life, go to the Master of all creation, worship in spirit and truth. Do not look at man, for you will falter, embrance the Lord God with your new life! (Nature worshippers, witches (white or black), New Age, Wiccans, whatever! Nature can't change your life, emptiness inside, but the Master of All, Jesus can and is ready to!) Jesus is the only door that you must pass to arrive to find what you are looking for-New Life.

Freed from darkness, and sinister death, by the Only One Who holds the keys to death, hell and the grave, these fiends feed upon human torment, because they hate the creator whose hands formed you. Why play with those who lure you to the snare of death, laugh at you once they drag your soul to hell. There is no good day in Satan's hands, no computers, games, laughter, or friends, all these things will be a far, forgotten memory, as etenity there you will dwell without comforts.(Witches, warlocks, Wiccans, Druids, play in darkness, familiar spirits, but never question because they do not believe in heaven or hell, where these 'spirits' come from).

The One Lord Who has these keys is Mercy, Love, Kindness, Perseverance, Long-Suffering, and Patience, for you still. Evil was forced to let me go by the Master, Lord Jesus Christ.

And my sun is the Son of Light, and the rain is the Holy Spirit Rain.

Here is a prayer I entrust to your keeping:
Lord, save me, come to me, I can not find the footholds to get free from this slippery slope in hell! Reach down Your Hand, as I reach up to You with my hand, save me today! I call upon You, Lord, to forgive me of my sins, don't leave me the way I am! In Jesus' Name I pray!

References: Orpheus in Greek mythology, a great musician,when he wife Eurydice died he went to Hades to get her back but failed. (No myth can save, there is no reality in it, only Truth can save and it is reality)

A rabbi provided the first four sentences. What did he mean black fire? Some rabbi's, depending on sect, believe earth's form and void resembled black fire. Fire? Energy burning beyond man's understanding to make anything dark and void. I consider coal.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spirit In The Sky
by Norman Greenbaum

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best

Prepare yourself you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You're gonna go to the place that's the best

Never been a sinner I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up with
The spirit in the sky
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
Go to the place that's the best

When I was a teen the first time I heard this song I loved it before I knew the Lord, and it is still one of my loved songs today.

qbee_75@hotmail.com

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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