Shrouded in darkness all around me, I clumsily fumbled for the light. I pressed upon the walls of this cave you placed me in to gain my footing as I made my way towards the mouth. I had to bend low and squeak through crevices that seemed too small for me fit through. All that mattered to me was that I be released and put into the sunshine to be near my friends and family at the household of God. I longed for the fellowship of the old days where applause and pats on my back were never in short supply. At last I was happy and content because I was finally accepted.
Then suddenly without warning you whisked me away to this place of isolation and death. I was taken from the light and offered only the living water and was forced to rely on you for my daily bread. I was alone in my cave and hidden from everyone. I fought you at first and struggled to find my way back. I should have known never to fight you. It took me too long to understand that this is where you desired me to be. Once I surrendered and resolved myself that you are God and I am not, I discovered this place to be beautiful and wonderful – The Secret Place.
Here you spoke to me revelations and gave me prophetic words and dreams but would not allow me to share them with anyone. You groomed me and spoke over me and loved me at every turn. I saw others outside the cave be given titles and awards and climb the ladder of the church’s institutional success. I even heard them speak the revelations I had received and were honored for their theological wisdom. Those same ones spoke words of rejection and betrayal over me as I was hidden in my cave – The Secret Place.
Then at last when I was tired and spent you began to deal with the wickedness of my heart. You took me to the lowest places and through much pressure and heat you began to pull out the impurities of my soul. You showed me who you were and I fell even more in love with you. It was you and I and no one could take away the fellowship we had. I then understood how John could have endured the island of Patmos . I knew then that you were all that I had and truly you were all that I needed. I was like the pearl who entered the cave as an irritant and you coated me many times with your love and discipline and made me less dangerous to your sheep. I learned to be content hidden in this cave – The Secret Place.
I know the day will come when you will gently nudge me to the mouth. My eyes will have trouble adjusting to the light and I may even walk with a limp as you place among your people. But the applause and pats on the back will mean nothing to me. The acceptance that I have longed for will scatter like dust and all that will matter is that they know who you are and desire their own cave – The Secret Place.