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Keeper
by Beth Muehlhausen
06/12/07
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Keeper


“Leave me alone. Just LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“No way, not until you listen to me.”

“What’s with you, anyway? Don’t you get it? I like being a loner and I don’t want to be bothered.”

“Yeah, that’s normal – that’s what you’ll think – until – “

“Until what?”

“Until you hear what I have to say.”

“Oh, right. Sure. That’s it.”

“Just give me a chance. That’s all.”

“A chance to do what? Put a heavy trip on me? No thanks.”

“Interesting. Even though you seem cool and collected in public, you treat me like an outcast.”

“Of course – ! Oh yeah … because I don’t trust YOU.”

“And what have I done to deserve this kind of treatment?”

“You TALK to me incessantly. Can’t handle that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. Just go a-w-a-y!”

“So what’s your image of me, anyway?”

“Oh gee … now you’re just buying more time.”

“No, I really want to know.”

“I think you want me to open up – and I don’t like being vulnerable.”

“So you put an obstacle between us, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do – you’ve built a wall between us before I can even prove my intentions.”

“I suppose so. Aren’t I entitled to a little privacy? I have to do what I have to do – period.”

“So you admit it – there’s a wall around you and it’s getting higher by the minute …”

“Sure. A wall. If you say so.”

“… and you’re hunkered down like a fugitive. You must feel lonely or at least confused – hardly a whole person.”

“Oh brother. Whole? What are you talking about? I HATE word games! I’m so sick of words that mean NOTHING. Words – they’re pointless!”

“Alright then, let’s get down to the bottom line. Here are two questions. Do you like yourself … and … do you like your life?”

“So now you’re making just a teeny bit of sense. Sure. I like myself okay. I wouldn’t want to be anyone else, but it would have been fine with me if I’d never been born, too. I like being apathetic. When I’m numb I can’t feel all the pain and disappointment.”

“Would you like to be a person bubbling over with expectancy, even when life doesn’t make sense … ?”

“I have not the faintest clue what you’re talking about. That’s impossible.”

“… someone who …”

“I’m leaving …”

“Wait! I have something to say!”

“You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Who’s telling you what to do?”

“This is absurd!”

“You’re right - I can’t tell you what to do, but I CAN speak the truth in love.”

“What truth? What’s the truth about me, huh, since you know everything?”

“You’re disintegrating.”

“I’m WHAT? Man … you are C-R-A-Z-Y!”

“You heard me – you’ve been duped by lies to trust circumstances rather than what is actually true, even when your conscience tells you otherwise. You’re one way on the inside and another on the outside so you can fool yourself as well as everyone else. This is why you’re falling apart - disintegrating as a mere shadow of what you were created to be.”

“A … shadow? How would you know what I was created to be?”

“If you’d give me a chance …”

“A chance! Give you a chance? Never! Now get lost or I’ll … well, I’ll throw a fit … and they’ll put me in the psycho ward …”

“Whoa there. A fake breakdown, huh? Now that’s a very creative solution. Except you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Wha --?”

“I’ll follow you into the hospital. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. You will never escape me. Never. And once you know me, really know me, you’ll see yourself differently. You’ll begin to understand what I mean about being whole.”

“Uh …”

“You’ll be real; your thoughts, feelings, and actions will mirror what you believe and know.”

“And what does that look like?”

“Hope on the inside, hope on the outside; truthfulness on the inside, truthfulness on the outside; pain on the inside, pain on the outside; flaws on the inside, flaws on the outside. That’s what it means to be integrated rather than disintegrated.”

“How ridiculous. Why am I even listening to you? Why am I having this conversation, anyway? Who are you? What’s your name?”

“I am … the Keeper of your heart.”





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Member Comments
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Tim Gunderson 12 Jun 2007
Good job - draws you in and cuts deep.
Toni Dester 12 Jun 2007
I was scrolling down in such expectancy. Loved it Beth - the disdain and frustration of the one speaker came through as well as the persistency and truth-in-loveness (is that a word - ha!) of the Keeper. Thanks for sharing.




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