It is not your anger, but the devil’s. It is his anger at being powerless against me. It is his anger for not having what he wants in you. That is why you are made to suffer, son. You continually defy him. You continually defeat him. You frighten him, and you best him again and again. This assault of his is everything that he can throw at you. He labors ceaselessly to attack you because you are so beloved.
I do not hate you at all son. Not one whit. Not one iota. I am not angry at you. I would move heaven and earth to be near you. Why will you not let me love you? Why do you cover over your heart, and make it like stone against me? You break my heart, son.
This is not your want, son, but his. He has gone without my voice so long that he is wretched, yet he will not give up his schemes. His heart is harder than any diamond. There is no room for love in him.
You are satisfied with my voice, even now.
These are not your wants, but his.
You hear the spirit, son, so loudly, and so clearly. Do not be angry at those who lack the same gift. Do not shame yourself because you suffer. Do not beat yourself for the thrashing of your spiritual limbs, and the outbursts of your mouth. I forgive you utterly. There is no exception to my forgiveness for you. You judge yourself as another human would. You do not forgive yourself, and therefore you do not love yourself.
Do you believe that I do not see all that you do? Do you think that there is some part of your mind that I cannot delve into? I know all, son. I see all. And, I forgive all. Why do you not believe me? It is in judging yourself that Satan enters in. It is he who whispers these lies into your ears.
This shame is what he presses upon you. It has no purpose but to shame. Victory over sin does not come through shame. It comes through Christ Jesus.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God. And the word was God.
I have given you the word, both in scripture and in yourself. Write to me, son. It is your gift.
I command you to never feel this fear again. If you knew with what speed I would rush out of heaven, and lay low your enemies, you would not feel this fear. If you only knew my love for you. Oh, my beloved Son, if you only knew. It is not only you who cry, son. Even your Lord cries for you. Angels have wept at your crosses.
What Your wife labors under now is right for her. You labored during your time, some more and some less. Do not compare yourself to my other children. This is between you and I.
I command you, in the name of the Holy Spirit, to stop feeling this guilt. Stop feeling shame. Stop feeling blame. Stop believing I am angry at you, or that I am pushing you away. You have become ill, and the cure is at hand.
What fruits does your anger bear? Does it open their eyes? It is not your anger, but your insight that opens their eyes. How I wish you would not make the two mutually exclusive. Your anger does not give you power. It is the electrified chain of a slave, slowly killing you. Electricity is not power. Will is not power. You cannot apply will alone, and succeed. Man shall not live by bread alone, and it is the will of man to make bread, but by every word from my mouth shall you be filled.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God. And the word was God.
Your words are especially powerful. What other author could have caused such a stir on Faith writers? Your anger hurt them, because of the power of your words. Hold no anger towards them. Every word you write in anger, no matter its wording, strikes the reader. I would rather that your words were loving, son.
Well asked. Your Joy, son, is not in this world. It is in my world that your Joy lies, yet so little of your life is spent there.
I did not give you a family to burden your spirit, nor will they be a burden.
Household chores, when done in Me, are no burden on the heart. True, the body must perform these tasks, but it is not burden on the body which tires you. It is the burden on your heart that you labor under. Under this burden, all tasks, no matter how small or large, seem impossible.
Not all your time can be spent with scripture, son. That is not how it works. There is no magic wand. I am not your taskmaster. Please stop looking on me in that way. I want to help you, but it is both in joy and in work. You look to me only for your work, and never your joy. This makes me into a tyrant in your eyes. Am I not a friend, a lover, and a father to you? Why do you not welcome me as all three?
I will press the wine of this pain, son. I will do what I must to be with you again. Do not be afraid. I am with you always. Please do not be ashamed. Your shame is killing you. With the full weight of God, I would lean on it until it is crushed. Please stop feeling ashamed of yourself. You are not a worthless work. Stop telling yourself this, please. Stop apologizing for being as I made you to be. I did not make a mistake.
Your sins cannot drive me away; they can only drive you to shame. I died on a cross so that you would have no inheritance in shame. Shame is an enemy of God. There can be no reflection of God in shame.
Shame is the name of the devil within you now. Cast him out. I give you the power.
This is him speaking again. I promise you that it will, though the statement alone is not the power. The word is the power. The word is more than speech, and thought. The word is God.
However you wish to say this, son, say it. The word will be heard by all.
Anger is an enemy of God. Anger is not of you at all. You are not an angry person. That statement is a lie.
I empower you to cast our anger in my name, as you did with shame. Speak the word.
Your next enemy is fear. There is nothing to fear. I am the first and the last. I am the alpha and the omega. All that is mine to keep, I keep. Your sons are mine to keep. Your wife is mine to keep. Not one drop of them will be spilled into the dust. Never. This is the word of the Lord God almighty. There is nothing to fear.
In the name of the Holy Spirit, drive out this fear from you.
Son, you are going to have a wonderful life, full of joy, sharing and fulfillment. The picture painted by your enemy is not a true one. It took many works to bring you out of the desert and into the Promised Land. You have arrived, son. You are here, now.
You feel this way because of fear. Cast him out.
The reason you are confused is because the Secret is a twisted vision of my Providence, where I am absent, or subservient to man’s will. This is not so.
I was never angry at you for this, son, never. The devil tried to shame you for believing this, not I.
No man may “use” the Lord. The Lord is given to men, of his good will. Let the desires of their heart be given to the Lord, for the desires of their heart were given them by the Lord.
The desires of their heart are not the desires of the devil. Sin, lust, temptation – these are not of God or of men, but of the devil. These cannot fall under providence, therefore, but only the will of man.
You know that I do not wish you to do these things, son. No need to state the obvious. However, I do not withdraw my hand from you because you are dirtied. Do you throw your son out of your house, for tracking in mud? No, you bath him. You endure with him, and wipe the muddy footprints away. So do I, yet more so. There have been many hidden labors made for you, son.
I am not ashamed of my son James.
These things are minor things that will be done away with. You look on them as heavy stones. And, though sin is sin knowing no degrees, the tasks of sin are varied. The tasks of these sins are small. It is one of the few stones the devil has to throw, and because of your shame, the pebble strikes the eye.
Honestly, son. Is this not a foolish thing, a small thing?
As for that, such a lust is not of you. It is of another, thrust upon you. You must be made safe in my word. Write in the language of the word given you, and you will be safe from that attack. It comes from your sister, who has yet to hear me. Look not to her salvation, but pray for it. Her struggles are not yours to take upon yourself, and in all ways you must shun the works of her hand and her mind. She has many devils upon her, son. Judge her not, but flee from her works.
I bear with you in these times. I see what it is that you truly want, and it breaks my heart that the path you take to it has been twisted. Do not blame yourself, or shame yourself. Know that this path is crooked, that is all. The desires of your heart are not disgusting. Remember that those other desires are not your own. What I shun, you shun. We are alike, son, in so many ways – yet you liken yourself to your enemy. Why? You are not like him in any way.
This is a want I well understand, though for you it is because you are so poor in spirit. You are impoverished in love for yourself. You take names upon yourself, and judgment upon yourself. The praise you receive has no savor, and the praise you seek cannot be forced. You must love yourself.
You must be reborn. You must again shed the clothes of wicked self-hatred, given to you by Satan, and wear the robes of white I have made for you. You are white, as virgin snow in my eyes. There is no stain in you at all. Sin is sin. James is not sin. Sin is not James. Satan is not James. Satan has no place, being cast into ash and outer darkness. He has no seat in you. You are pure, and free of him.
The spirit of strength will come to you.
Write to me when you are attacked
Seek me in advice, and in comfort, and in joy
Keep an open line to me, but not as a taskmaster.
Do not resent your wife. Do not push her away. Do not be ashamed to speak to her. She is not ashamed of you. She loves you like no other mortal on this earth. She is the beautiful dove I sent for you.
Thank you for your honesty. You do not see yourself as beautiful either, and yet you are. Your wife is pretty – yes physically pretty. She is overweight, because she is burdened. She is out of shape because she is tired.
Only you can bring her out of her burdens. You must stop feeling shame about your eyes. Know the truth of her, and do not worry about your eyes. Your heart must change before your eyes will see straight again. Your eyes will one day see her beauty.
Tell me of your wants and I will grant them.
I will grant this wish, but you must also make this effort. If you work out, and make yourself what you wish her to be, she will become it. This I will reward you with. You are the head of the river, and all that flows from you will flow through her.
If you trust in me, and have faith alone in me, and work where I tell you to work in this, it will be so.
Your son must follow his path for now. To help him eat healthy, you must eat healthy. You are the river head. You will find ways to keep his health strong.
This will be done as well, and will take time. The stronger you are in the word, the less time this will take.
Your tiredness is related to your fitness. Kill two birds with one stone. You have the tools available to you.
Continue to write to me. Be strong in the word with me.
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