This is a story that is in progress right now in my life.This is about family relationships. I hope that there may be a happy ending someday.
I can relate to Job right now. Job lost his family I have lost my family. While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!" Job 1:18-19 This is pretty strange because I am a single never married and I am in my forties.
I was very excited to fly back to my home state where I grew up for Christmas. I talked to an un-named family member about 2 weeks before Christmas. She told me that she did not trust me anymore. I have known her for 27 years this was devastating to me. If I had put a cancellation fee into my flight plans I would of canceled. I would much rather spend Christmas alone then spend it with someone that does not trust me.
I talked to someone who convinced me that I should just make the best of it. This family member was in a wheel chair temporarily and maybe that was the reason for feeling that way.
I got through Christmas, and then in February and March with two different incidents with two different people I did something that hurt them. I did not intend to hurt them, I blame myself.
I left my home state in 2000; I worked at a career job that did not work out. I came from a broken family; my mom was a recovering alcoholic that committed suicide when I was 14. My dad later remarried. For the first time in my life I had 2 step sisters and a step brother from that marriage. I had been an only child up until this time.
I felt that prior to taking the job out of state that the Lord wanted me to change my behavior. I took the job and moved out of state and away from the city I had lived my whole life.When I left that career job it was a loss of a dream. I enjoyed my career. It was hard on me. I decided that I needed some time away from the family.
A few years later I was talking to a women at a local Christian bookstore. Somehow we started to talk about family. I told her that I needed some time away from my family and that I have not contacted them for a while. This woman chastised me for staying away from my family. I remember that she said that you need family. I told her that I needed to listen and do what the Lord wants.
I think that the mistake I made is I did not go to the Lord. I did what I wanted to do not necessarily what the Lord wanted.
Also in the coming months I started to have problems with two other family members. I decided that this is it its over. My first impressions when I talked with that un-named family member that said that she did not trust me anymore is that I cannot depend on people. I need to depend on the Lord.
The other sad thing is this is stepfamily I am talking about. Family on my motherís side of the family does not care about me. I hardly know my family on my dadís side of the family. I am all alone I have no family, but I have Jesus
This story is very painful for me to right. I love the family that the Lord has blessed me very much. I will always love them.
Before I go on I want to say to you. If you have a good relationship with your family donít break your relations. I feel very strongly that you should not throw away good relationships.
I want to reach people out there like me who have broken relationships that may ever be able to be fixed on this side of heaven. I hope that when you read this that if youíre like me that you focus on the relationship that is most important that is the Lord Jesus Christ.
This has taught me something. We are so people dependent we are not God dependent. I know that what I am going to say is going to be harsh. I have not found anything in the bible that says that relationships with man is a must.
You may have heard the song ďSeek ye First The Kingdome of GodĒ. I sang that song as a child. The song comes from Matthew 6:33
The thing you should want most is God's kingdom and doing what God wants. Then all these other things you need will be given to you. Matthew 6:33 NCV
Yes, my version of the bible is different, but if you look at what it says. It says to keep God first and do what God wants. Then you financial needs will be met then your relational needs will be met. We need to keep God first and I have not done that in my life.
This is the beginning of this story. I donít know what is going to happen in the coming months. Especially since I have not told my family how I feel. I have decided to do what Matthew 6 says and keep God first, and concentrate on my relationship with the Lord. My hope is that in due time that he will take care of these relationships. If not hear on earth I know for sure that in heaven with out sin these bad family relations will be better.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21: 4
Hey Ken. Thank you very much for your critique. I wish I could record myself singing this song and put it on FW so people could hear it, because this is one of few songs I've written where I know how it would sound. If people could stand to hear me sing lol.
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and rough situations. Wish I knew what else to say to encourage you. I'm glad that you still have hope, though, and are learning to put your full trust in God instead of people (something we all need to work on). I pray that things will change for the better and you'll build a good, strong relationship with your family. God can do what looks impossible, and far more than we could ever think to ask. Stay strong in the Lord. God bless.
P.S. Wow you have a truckload of articles! I'm impressed.