Trusting God in Our Darkest Times
By Anne H. Harrell
In January of nineteen ninety-seven, Mark and I would have never dreamed that we would lose one of our children to death. W e had a suspicion that we could lose Cyndy in the near future to death with her seizures taking a turn for the worst. Drs. White and Garrison would hint around at times they were not sure how much longer Cyndy could hold on. Dr. White was always telling me before we would get off the phone to enjoy Cyndy. He will tell me not to cry over but make every minute the best time with Cyndy.
Cyndy would have her up and down days and things would look like the end was round the corner and then she would change so fast and death was no longer a threat. She had cheated death so many times that we had hoped that the death angel did not remember where she was. Yet the day came that Cyndy could not cheat death anymore and she was called home to our Heavenly Father. At the time we felt like we had a dark cloud over our heads and there was no way of coming from under it.
Yet with the help of our Lord and Savior we were able to come from under the dark cloud and our lights shined brighter for our Lord. Yet when it was time for the Lord to call her home, we saw many things around her death that we knew that God was in control. The Lord would bring us through Cyndy’s illness and we would be find comfort in trusting Christ with Cyndy’s life. Then there came the day when Cyndy was no longer with us any more. She was at home with the Lord. Our hearts ached for her that she is not here but also we thank God that Cyndy was made whole when He called her home.. The joy that we know that Cyndy walks and talks and does not have seizures anymore was a prayer answered. Our Lord gave us the strength to get through the painful day of our lives. We take comfort that Cyndy runs and plays in the meadows and along the crystal clear waters.
Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV)
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
In our darkest times we will either turn to the Lord to help us through our crises or we will turn completely away from Him and might never want anything more to do with God. In Mark’s in my crises we found comfort in Jesus. We could not have gotten through Cyndy’s death or any of the other devastations that came after her death without the love and trust in God alone. 2 Cor. 12:9-10 (KJV)
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
Not too long after Cyndy died, Mark had his heart attack in June of nineteen ninety-eight, we were not sure what was going to happen with our family or much more what were we going to do with Mark no longer being able to work. We were use to thousand dollar pay checks coming in every week from Mark working day and night on the water front. We had to put our trust wholly in Christ a lone to get through the next weeks, months and years to come.
The entire test that was done on Mark’s heart showed that the damage was done and there was nothing the doctors could do to fix Mark’s heart. Mark was going to have to live with a third of his heart dead along with that he might not pull through the next two years. We found our selves praying on our knees pleading that the Lord would spare Mark’s life with him having a family with all the young disabled children.
Mark’s constant prayers were please Lord let him to go back to work and provide for his family. Work was not going to happen for Mark. Yet the Lord knew what He was doing when Mark started working on the water front at such a young age. We had to trust Christ to get us through each day. We had no idea how we were going to provide food and shelter for the children. When to us it looks like there is no way that we are going to be able to come up with the money God steps in just a the right time and those needs would be taken care of.
When we trust God when the winds and rain comes and the storm rages we can get through the crises with little damage done. Our trust is built on nothing less then Jesus Christ. Matthew 7:24-25 (KJV)
“Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.”
As soon as Mark first became disabled, he was worried about taking care of his family. He kept telling the doctor that he could not retire. He had a wife and five children that he had to provide for. Stoppage of work and retiring would mean less money coming into the family funds. Mark worried about the mortgage would fall behind along with taking care of the daily needs there would not be enough money to take care all the needs. Yet, you know our income dropped in half and still our needs were and are being provided for. God has taken care of all our needs. When we stop and ask the Lord to help us when we see no way out, the Lord will see that we are taken care of. If God takes care of the birds in the air how much more can He do for us? Matthew 6:25-26 (KJV)
“Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?”
When our health fails we need to look up to God and pray and watch patiently to see what the Lord will do in our lives and the people around us. We will see that the Lord will move hearts that we would not think of Him moving. I know because I have seen with my very eyes miracles that take place when we relinquish control and let the Lord have control. Hold on and keep your eyes on God in your darkest hour. You will see that what we thought was the darkest hours will be one of our brightest hours in life.
God has not brought you through crises without bringing you closer to Him. He sees what is happening to you. The Lord will not bring you this far in life and drop you in the middle of the game. We may drop Him but he will never drop us. When ever life seems to be looking bleak, know that it is not so bleak with the Lord on our side. Trust the Lord to take care of you. Ask the Lord to help you. The Lord wants each one of us to see him our needs. Weight, Watch and Aspect God to give, and you will see that he will provide more then we asked for.