Grief
Leaning over, she pulled a leaf off the bush and rolled it slowly and gently between her fingers. She was thinking, her eyes focused on the distant horizon, but not seeing the splendor of the sunset that was there. Her mind was a thousand miles away. She absently pushed her foot against the ground to set the swing in motion again, letting the gentle breeze the motion generated lift the wisps of hair off her forehead. Dropping the crumpled leaf to the ground, she reached over to pull another from the bush. She was jerked back to reality when instead of a leaf she caught her hand on a thorn that was on the bush. “Ouch!” she said, and reflexively stuck her finger in her mouth, trying to stop the throbbing the thorn had caused.
The roses were beautiful, large, pink, and fragrant. Carefully she picked one, and leaned back in the swing, inhaling the sweet scent it held. She started swinging again, and the cool breeze tried to dry the tears that streamed down her face as her thoughts traveled across the miles to the one who held her heart.
Night descended and the stars came out. Still she sat, silent and alone with her thoughts. The rose had fallen forgotten onto the swing beside her. Her tears had dried, but the ache in her heart went on. Hopes, dreams, desires… all of them had been dashed, but still he held her heart. Would it never heal? Would she be able to move on? She didn’t ask for this. She hadn’t wanted to have to choose between her love and her God. Yet, when she wouldn’t move from what God had showed her, instead of seeking God for answers, he made a choice to end the relationship. She’d tried. She’d waited, hoped, prayed, dreamed of a day when they could marry and walk the road to heaven together. It wasn’t supposed to end this way! Yet, she knew that her choice had been right. It would be foolish to choose to go away from God. She knew that God would get her through this and she would be okay. She just wanted the pain to end. She struggled to go on with the motions of life, to keep a cheerful outlook, but it was so hard sometimes. She wanted to find a quiet place and sleep until the pain was gone and life could be good again.
As night settled in, she got up and walked through the damp grass back to the house. Letting herself in quietly, she went to her room and closed the door. Turning on the lamp beside her bed, she picked up her Bible to read. A verse in 1 Corinthians caught her eye, a phrase … “the God of all comfort…” She needed that comfort. Flipping through the pages, she saw another verse, “He giveth his beloved sleep” and then, “As your day so shall your strength be.” With tears again falling, she closed her eyes and thanked God for the encouragement he gave in her hour of need. She set her Bible aside and flipped off the light, thinking she would lean against the pillow for a few minutes before changing for bed.
Sun streamed through the window. It was morning again – a new day. As she sat up and rubbed her eyes, she realized she had fallen asleep without changing. She felt better, encouraged. She could get through today because God would walk with her. He would take her through this one day at a time. He loved her and he wouldn’t forsake her in her time of trial, and one day, good things would come again.
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