Spring Break of ’02 could possibly have been the most hilarious 10 days of my life. I spent my time off in Florida with my cousin, who doubled as my best friend. We hit the beaches, the Disney parks, Universal Studios, a few secret hotspots. We even got to see a cool band rehearse in their garage; so retro, so cool. My outfits were perfect for the weather and my cousin was in rare humorous form. What else could we possibly have asked for?
I’ll tell you what: FOOD! Spring Break of ’02 was a lot of things…physically filling was not one of them. You see, because we were still in high school at the time, Danee and I could not stay on our own at a resort with delicious buffets and restaurants to choose from. We had to stay with someone our parents trusted. It just so happened the lovely family they trusted were absolute health nuts.
I’ve never fed a dog more food in my life. I actually prayed for a tsunami where the Red Cross would have to deliver provisions and I have never forgotten the hushed tones of trying to open a smuggled in box of sugar coated cereal while trying to control the ravenous beast of hunger within me.
I kid you not the woman we were staying with fed me this granola like bar that could possible have had live bugs in it. As I unwrapped this supposed beneficial bar of wheat germ, goat cheese and only heaven knows what else, my body nearly gave out. “Clearly,” I thought, “this is where Danee and I die. Starving to death on the outskirts of Disneyworld. It will be such a sad story. I hope my Mom knows I've always loved her.”
And with that granola bar stuck to the roof of my mouth, Danee thought it may be a good idea for us to have a meeting. We were invited, no doubt by the grace of God, to a party that night. Danee was now convinced we should take the invite before one of us was found famished and faint.
Had Danee and I been able to get ourselves a map and find the nearest McDonalds I guarantee we would have ordered whatever the place had and had the order Super Sized. Twice.
I wonder if life were a fast food restaurant and God the order taker at the window, what you would ask to have Super Sized. I’d probably ask for a Super Sized Advertising Career with a Prada bag, indeed with some ice (gotta add the bling), and a Manhattan loft on the side.
Perhaps you would ask for something much more basic. An order of understanding. An order of get me out of this mess. An order of where is my mate? An order of a life free of doctor appointments and disappointment. I wonder, what is your order?
Psalm 119:57 fills me completely today. “You are my portion, LORD; I have promised to obey your words.” You are my portion, Lord. How powerful. Think about that for a moment: You are my portion, Lord.
You, Lord, fill me like nothing else. You are more consuming than the non-stop work of Advertising Execs. You are more defining than Prada bags. You are more beautiful than diamonds. You outlast any Manhattan building. You offer understanding. You clean up our messes. You have every area under control. You know where I am going. You know who I am going with. You determine my days. You order my battery of tests in this life and you are the one who examines me from head to foot. You are Healer. You are not a God of disappointment but one of divine intervention. You are my portion, Lord.
I love this next part: “I have promised to obey your words.” Do you feel the weight of this response? Because You are my portion, Lord, I have promised to obey your words. I have pledged to listen to You when I am over-worked and tired. I have vowed to pay attention when I am under-worked and looking for more. I have said I will do what you tell me to whether I am decked out in the fanciest of clothes or whether I am in rags on the street. I will obey your words when I feel like everything is falling apart. I am on the lookout for you in the waiting room of the hospital. I am expecting to hear from you when I bring the broken pieces of my heart to your throne room. And more than listening, even then, I am vowing to carry out Your will for my life. Because You are my portion, Lord. This is where it gets good – let me introduce you to Psalm 119:60, “I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” In other words: I cannot wait to do what you want me to do! Because you are my portion, Lord, I promise to do what You have planned for me…and Lord, I cannot wait to do it!
A lesson Christ has been drilling home with me over these past few months has been Portion Control. Spiritual portion control that is. I am convinced the Holy Spirit is breathing into me Psalm 73:25-27 as the anthem of my life. “Whom have I in heaven but you, Lord? And earth has nothing I desire besides you [Lord]. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” I’m not going to sugar coat it: This has been the toughest, most prodding and intrusive lesson I have been caught in the middle of thus far. But it is by far the one most rewarding.
I challenge you today to ask for an unrivaled hunger for Christ. You get on your knees with me and you tell the Lord that you want to desire nothing on this earth the way you desire Him. I promise you, if you are looking elsewhere, no health-bar or newest delicious fad is going to work. We can hunger for all the things of this world and never be full. I tell you when we get to a place where we confidently speak, “Earth has nothing I desire besides you, Lord…everything around me may fail but you are my strength and my portion forever.”
He is our portion forever. You will be stunned to the core at the depth of satisfaction there is to be found within Him. If this world were a fast food restaurant and we were as hungry as Danee and I on our Spring Break ’02 trip…I boldly hope on our behalf that we would drive up and ask, “More of You, Lord. More of you.”