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DAVID'S COLUMN MySpace and Deleting Friends
by David Ian
03/13/07
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Okay, so this MySpace thing...

Been getting myself familiar with this MySpace thing, and there are some interesting features which I’m thinking makes MySpace so popular.

First of all, there’s all these nice, friendly girls wanting to be my friend. Wow, had I known what an actual Babe Magnet I am that girls from across the nation are drawn to me like moths to a flame and want to be close friends, I should have approached my dating life a whole lot differently. And they all look so nice, too, although I must say they certainly all live in very warm regions because they don’t wear very much…

Really worried about some of these girls, though, because almost immediately after one girl “Mandy”(who must’ve lived in a VERY warm region indeed) became my good friend she disappeared without a trace. The words “No Longer Exists” appeared across the little box where her friendly face and unique bathing suit used to be. I worry if Mandy’s all right, if something happened to her – maybe I’m just overacting, maybe I watch too much CSI….

Still, I hope it’s all just a matter of Mandy moving to a region in the country that just isn’t so gol’ darned warm.

Then there’s the way MySpace handles your friends that is just so gosh darn interesting. You click the little button that says “Show All Friends” and a sea of happy faces appears before you. Although there must be something amiss with this function, because I know of a whole bunch of other people who are my friends that are always missing in this gathering. Ah well, it’s a new technology, I guess.

Now, something that I HAVEN’T tried yet, and this is mostly on ethical grounds, as that little prompt that says: “Edit Friends”. Now, the temptation is great to just click on that thing and change everything I don’t like about my friends, or even make changes for the better that I know some have expressed they wouldn’t mind being able to change, like height or eye color or some such.

But I have to resist and just cherish my friends for who they are and not try to change them, even if they think it would make them happier, and just be happy with them “as is”, and hope they can be content with themselves “as is” too. I really appreciate MySpace giving me the opportunity to edit my friends, and maybe sometime when we all have the wisdom to be able to use such technology, we can do so and make the world a better place. Some day, perhaps.

Now we come to the worrisome part of MySpace friends. It’s that little thing that keeps glaring at me, menacingly, dangerously. “Delete Friends”. This is a scary thing. I mean, heaven knows I’ve been mad at friends before and wanted to slap some around in the heat of the moment, but there’s always a chance to reconcile afterwards. This is pretty final. I mean, DELETE your friends? This is a terrible thought.

I wonder if that’s what happened to Mandy? CSI’s job is certainly going to be tougher, that’s for sure.

Why not come up with a prompt that says, “Delete Enemy” or “Delete Mass Murderer” or “Delete Pedophile” or “Delete People Guilty of Genocide” or at least “Delete Richard Simmons” fer cryin’ out loud. Sheesh. All the effort that went into this Delete Technology and they are offering that you turn it upon your FRIENDS???? No thank you.

However, it makes me wonder. If there is “Weapon Of Mass Deleting” out there, can our crack “Homeland Security” forces keep us safe with their crack wire tapping and crack holding up our airlines? Maybe they ought to get a MySpace page and make some Friends out of our Enemies.

Then just edit them.

Just a thought.


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